ginyi1111 Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 that does sound a bit strange, to write bye bye in emails...maybe she is saying goodbye to you.. Go NC malc...start your healing.
Author malc Posted January 31, 2010 Author Posted January 31, 2010 Well, like it or not, NC has been initiated, although I dont know if it was more on her part or my part, but from past history she has a habit of turning up or contacting when least expected, although she hurt me, I dont know how I would react if she was to do that, say 1 month, 6 months down the line. I guess now its time to put other things that matter first now, and to start accomplishing things that make people like her see the good in me, I dont know why, maybe its natural but im weary of getting too close to the opposite sex for the moment. Thanks for all your support guys.
Author malc Posted January 31, 2010 Author Posted January 31, 2010 I have had a very happy 6-8 hours catching up with old friends, having her completely off my mind and even managed to smile genuinely without making much of an effort, then what happens, she goes and breaks the NC and tells me how much of a fun time she is having (presumably without me) kind of like she is rubbing it in my face, and how drunk she got in a party with all her friends and had fun, what plans of fun her day involves tomorrow then followed by what I am up to. She doesnt really care, does she? and why is she rubbing it in my face. Why is she playing with me and my head, any answers, I expected not to hear from her for a while or again, and now she decides she wants me to know. Oh, I hate this situation. Just when today, I am starting to do well.
ginyi1111 Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 oh that does suck, rubbing it in yer face like that...just ignore her malc...she is playing mind games with you... maybe she doesnt know that she is hurting you and thinks that things are fine between the two of you as 'friends'. tell her that you guys cannot be friends now and to not contact you unless it's about resuming the relationship.
Author malc Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 I am not into her mindgames anymore, I refuse to play them, and although I still care about her, I dont care of this situation, where I feel she is just stringing me along, if she wants me, then she should prove it and beat a path down to my door, if not, I am happy enough to move on, I refuse to let her get her emotion fix out of me. I have not replied to that last email sent, I have gone NC, I am not going to break it, and I predict I will get an email in the next few days saying if I am trying to get her off my chest, whats wrong, and why I am ignoring her, for now, I have been concentrating on my career and not thought about her, and refuse to be played. If she wants me, I will tell her to put her money where her mouth is, and come to see me in England.
ginyi1111 Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 i hope everything works out for you malc. it's gonna be difficult to try get over her but you have to hang in there... you can find support in forums like these and read why going NC is really the best. but of course most of all i wish that she realised how wonderful you were to her..because to be honest, if we had given our all in a relationship for the other person you have no one to blame but them for walking away..
Author malc Posted February 3, 2010 Author Posted February 3, 2010 Ok, updates, she has broken the NC. She sent me a very brief short email saying: "Hi, Hope you are ok. Thinking of you x( (unsmiley face) hope you have not started drinking" what does this mean? I want to reach out to her, I miss her so much but I think maybe the NC is working, what do people think.
ginyi1111 Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 if i were you i'd have replied honestly saying that 'im thinking of you too but im not interested in being just friends. so please leave me alone and let me heal'.
Author malc Posted February 5, 2010 Author Posted February 5, 2010 Your right ginyi, but I am such an idiot and I hate the way she has made me feel like this and weak and pathetic, yet she can cut off feelings whenever she chooses. She emailed me again, said im worried about you and I broke NC to email her back and say I am fine, but I dont know if she is playing games with me, but she goes that she can understand if I dont want her to email me anymore. I know for the moment, or indefinately, she is not coming back, so why do I persist, is it for fear of her dissappearing from my life totally. I dont think I am ready for that. I know the answer to this thread, NC is the way to go, and I hate hearing about how overwhelmingly happy she is with her life after treating me like this, but again I become stupid and weak in her presence. This is going to prolong my healing again. Remind me never to love or trust again.
skydiveaddict Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 This is going to prolong my healing again. Remind me never to love or trust again. You're right, it will prolong your healing. But what's done is done. I'm going through a break-up right now too. Just dont make the same mistake again. It's kinda funny, but my unit has orders for Afghanistan in May, and I cant wait. Anything to get my mind off of her. Good luck to ya
ginyi1111 Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 I know the answer to this thread, NC is the way to go, and I hate hearing about how overwhelmingly happy she is with her life after treating me like this, but again I become stupid and weak in her presence. This is going to prolong my healing again. Pfft you dont get to beat me in this being pathetic game. I have reached the lowest of low, i'm actually jealous of my work colleague because she talks on the phone everyday with my ex (about work) and whenever I see her on the phone I would eavesdrop her conversation and feel like dying because there she is talking to the man that I love but I cant even get him to reply my friggin' texts!! You know the answer malc. Tell her how you feel one last time. Go NC.
jb89 Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 I'm going through something similar, and I'm learning that full NC is the only way that you'll start healing, and the only way that she'll completely miss you; if you're completely out of her life. Stay strong
pleasedontyell Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 Tell her not to e-mail you anymore. Or, block her, so she can't e-mail you. She's totally ****ing around with you, it's absolutely unnecessary to rub a new romance in a past lover's face. Don't talk to her, she's poison.
Author malc Posted February 7, 2010 Author Posted February 7, 2010 Thank you for your support guys, unfortunately, like I was there to pick up the pieces for her in her time of need, she saw me coming, and now, while she has her fun every day, no one is there for me right now in my time of need and unhappiness, however many thanks to people on this forum, the likes of ginyi, caliguy etc have helped me through the past week or two with their valuable bit of advice and I appreciate it alot ;-) I wont be completely healed for some time, I do not know how long, but I have started to make a few strides and changes, and hopefully, the next person, when I start trusting the opposite sex again, will not come along and use and abuse me again like she did, I dont think I could take that again so soon, but in this life, you never know or cant expect off people. I did once and for all lay down my feelings for her, but ended with the fact that she knows where to find me if she chooses, but right now, I am going to give up chasing her as I need to heal, the decision is now hers only, but I wont be there forever if someone starts to love me. I have never hurt her, never hurt any of my ex girlfriends before, been always up front and honest with them, its the way ive been brought up, people like my mum would bring me down a peg or two if i ever was caught cheating and thats how I like to remain. I am starting to do things that take up all my time, and things are becoming a lot clearer. I am getting out there, travelling more, interacting with family and friends more, fighting to get my career going, I just need to keep remaining busy and not give myself the time to think and keep checking my emails and phone for signs of her. I hope you guys are ok as can be and I will continue to offer my advice on this forum, as I think its one of the best as far as relationship woes go.
ginyi1111 Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 we need to keep on living...life needs to go on... i suppose it is easier to just move on rather than to keep wondering why the person we loved hurt us. stay in touch malc!
Author malc Posted February 7, 2010 Author Posted February 7, 2010 Yeh, life does go on, we can consider the what-ifs, believe me, I have been through every question in my head twice or more, but I know for this moment she will not come back if I beg, plead, cry whatever, I will just drop down that attractiveness scale. Further on, if I get over her, and someone else comes into my life and starts to like me, she will have missed her chance, such is life, we can never wait over one person to change their opinions for long, and I dont know whether I would go back to her, I love her, but she hurt me, and you cannot trust someone like that easily for fear of them repeating their mistakes. Thanks ginyi, will stay in touch, hope your well.
Author malc Posted February 8, 2010 Author Posted February 8, 2010 Finally, the closure I was looking for, 'Its Over', so why does she keep persisting on clogging up my email box and so grandly telling me about her life when I specifically asked her not to do that and I was blunt with her?? When I open my yahoo email, seeing 2-3 emails from her at the top of the page just brings it all back, and does not let me heal. Is she still trying to have a hold on me even though its over, I mean, I wouldnt let her now after hearing those words, for all I care, she does not exist in my world anymore but shes ever so curious as to what im up to.
ginyi1111 Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 I think only you would know the answer to that malc. This is the girl that you loved and spent time with and was there for her when she needed you. So you should know what kind of person she is. Like for me, even though I keep saying how cruel it is for my ex to just leave me in the cold just like that without even a single word to show that he cared or that at least I mattered to him, deep inside I know why he is ignoring me is that he doesnt wanna and will not come back to me. I dont know if he is dating another girl or if I had been played all along, all I know is he wont be coming back to me. So malc you should know. What are your instincts telling you? If you are clueless, reply her one last time. Say all you want and mark her as 'spam'. After all, isnt she just another 'spam' in your life now?
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