carhill Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 Hey again Carhill, I get it!! Those are some pretty strong thoughts and emotions emerging all at once! And thank God the truck was a Honda!! The truck was a Ford diesel. The lawn mower was a Honda. I think it was telling me something. It wanted to stay. Good decision.
DenverBachelor Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 Frankly, who gives a **** whether or not they come back. A failed relationship is just another of life's many hard to swallow but ultimately beneficial learning experiences. Too many people stand at the bus stop waiting for a route that was long since cancelled. There are a million things in life waiting to be explored outside of relationships and we put a lot of them off or cancel them completely due to being in a relationship. So suck it up, be strong and continue with your life. It doesn't matter if they do or do not think about you -- if they call or text or do not. The relationship is over and nothing is going to change that fact. That doesn't prevent you from getting into better relationships in the future but it will if you get hung up on one specific person. Let them go their happy little way to the field of roses that's right for them and you do your thing and everyone is the wiser for it. I'm sure everyone has great memories from their time with that person so just smile and thank life for the experience. Some people never get that opportunitiy. Everyone always wants what they can't have and wants more so what they once had but lost. Ask yourself why you need to have it and figure out the distinction between having a bond with another and being with that specific person. We've all broken up numerous times in our lives and the simple fact is that the pattern is always the same. We think our love life is dead in the water and we'll never meet anyone better than who we were just with. Then lo' and behold someone even more amazing comes around. Rinse and repeat. All that pain we feel after the breakup isn't anything compared to the benefits of being a better person from the loss. Nobody agrees with the phrase "better to have loved and loss" right after a breakup, but everyone seems to agree with it a year after the breakup. Then again, some people never seem to want and heal and prefer to remain in the land of the dumped. At some point you just got to realize that, after the hall is rented and the orchestra is engaged and you do your little dance with someone in life, that the band eventually goes home and the lights get turned off. It's time to go back home -- you did your song and dance and you had a great time. The attitude I am taking in future relationships will be simple. I won't expect anything to be permanent and just enjoy the experiences and if she chooses to leave then she's not ripping a piece of my heart when she goes. Maybe that will mean having a shield up for the rest of my life but that line -- the rubicon of the heart's love -- well, you don't cross that and go back. That's when you're in it deep and can no longer simply say, "hey, it was a blast! Have a great one!" I just don't want to be an old man about to kick the bucket and look back and realize I wasted months of my life in a state of bewilderment over something that happens to everyone -- even the most successful, rich and beautiful people get dumped. It's not you, it's life.
sunrae Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 even the most successful, rich and beautiful people get dumped. QUOTE] Yeah. Jennifer Aniston is still single..
DenverBachelor Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 even the most successful, rich and beautiful people get dumped. QUOTE] Yeah. Jennifer Aniston is still single.. That's because she never got over her breakup with Brad Pitt. She needs to go NC and call me ASAP. Between her and Sarah Michelle Gellar, I wouldn't know what to do with myself.
HeavenOrHell Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 You can't generalise about ALL women, no more than I can generalise about all men. I could say how can you men jump like that? they dont come back. like my ex. i walked away lat year. texts emails knocks on the door and she wanted me back. this year she gets more and more distant. and then we have a fight. its over. now nothing from her. wonder how you women can jump like that. all about the challenge
Author McGrupp Posted January 27, 2010 Author Posted January 27, 2010 nah. im going to generalize. so they NEVER come back.
HeavenOrHell Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 What about all the blokes who walked away?
Author McGrupp Posted January 27, 2010 Author Posted January 27, 2010 actually my bodies ex from college is now begging him back. she dumped him, got married, then divorced...now wants him back. he was a mess for 1+ years, picked himself up and is now in one of the best law schools in the country. now she wants him. ha...
Orchid8 Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 That's because she never got over her breakup with Brad Pitt. She needs to go NC and call me ASAP. Between her and Sarah Michelle Gellar, I wouldn't know what to do with myself. WHAT?! Sarah Michelle Gellar?! I thought she was happily married still. (Sorry for being off topic!) lol
Catseye8 Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 That's because she never got over her breakup with Brad Pitt. She needs to go NC and call me ASAP. Count up another vote here for a woman who's gone back after being the dumper. But that was in a very stormy on-off relationship where most serious conversations ended with "well FINE then!" and one or the other of us breaking it off, only to sheepishly come back after a couple of weeks; any time I've broken off an LTR, it was after lots of thought and lengthy consultation with friends, and I didn't go back.
bluewolf17 Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 I'm a lady, I dumped my BF. And then I came back:love:
Author McGrupp Posted January 27, 2010 Author Posted January 27, 2010 how long did u wait to come back?
bluewolf17 Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 Didn't take long at all. Weeks? Took me 9 months to convince him I was serious. You can check out my old threads if you like.
prayingshecomesback Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 If they dont come back in a few weeks the possibility of them coming back ever again is slim to none. Especially if they have given you NC completely. They have moved on... It would take a miracle of god to have my ex come back. McGrupp... you got to take your girl off that pedestal. I know it is hard as hell to do. BUT... you have to. It is the only way you are going to move on.
Author McGrupp Posted January 27, 2010 Author Posted January 27, 2010 im tired of pining. its been almost 5 months. i should just break NC and be like "i have herpes"
Serena2009 Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 The truck was a Ford diesel. The lawn mower was a Honda. I think it was telling me something. It wanted to stay. Good decision. Ohhhhhhhh!! Now I really get it!! The lawn mower most definately wanted to stay and it was a very good decision!! As far as driving a Ford truck . . . I'm not so sure about that decision!!
ginyi1111 Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 If they dont come back in a few weeks the possibility of them coming back ever again is slim to none. Especially if they have given you NC completely. They have moved on... It would take a miracle of god to have my ex come back. This applies to men as well you know....
DenverBachelor Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 This applies to men as well you know.... I may just as well break up with her just for the hot reconciliation sex that will ensue when I call her back a week later and tell her, "I made a big mistake. Please come to my apartment naked."
sedgwick Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 they dont come back. I repeat: I am a woman. I came back. Why do you refuse to listen to reality? If you cannot admit that there is a statistical (logic will just have to substitute for actual hard data) imbalance "Logic" (by which you mean "opinion") is NEVER a substitute for hard data.
Author McGrupp Posted January 28, 2010 Author Posted January 28, 2010 fine. but its not happening for me.
CaliGuy Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 "Logic" (by which you mean "opinion") is NEVER a substitute for hard data. Nobody disagrees that women do come back. Just browse LoveShack's history and you'll see that more often than not, it's MEN who come back, not women. All we're saying is that if you've been dumped as a man, you have less (much less, IMHO) of a chance of HER coming back than a woman has of HIM coming back.
sedgwick Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 All we're saying is that if you've been dumped as a man, you have less (much less, IMHO) of a chance of HER coming back than a woman has of HIM coming back. I've never had a guy come back.
CaliGuy Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 I've never had a guy come back. Some people never have an ex come back, no matter what. Like I said, Sedgwick, read the hisstory. Especially the divorce forums. Men are much more likely to come back than women. That's not to say they ALWAYS do or ALWAYS DON'T. It's the overall average that we're referring to. All the proof you need is right here on LS. I'm sorry you've never had an ex come back. I've had them come back but not permanently. I was merely a port in a storm for them. I guess they felt I was good in the sack or something. That's something to rest my hat on....I guess.
Author McGrupp Posted January 28, 2010 Author Posted January 28, 2010 why did u go back to your ex sedge? how long...and any other details. curiosity ...
prayingshecomesback Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 I know for certain my ex will never come back. She thought it through, talked about it with friends and family... And then when the time was right she pulled the trigger. In the weeks leading up to the breakup the littlest things I did annoyed her and she bitched at me like no tomorrow. She was just reinforcing herself and letting herself know you have to end it. I couldn't stand the way she was acting the last month and I even thought about dumping her! I kinda wish I had because I probably wouldn't have hurt as much, after all... Dumpers don't feel the same way dumpees feel after the breakup. She fell into a relationship with a guy right after she called it off with me so either she had GIGS or wanted to use this guy as a rebound. I don't see how this relationship with the new guy is going and I don't want to know. I caused enough pain to myself trying to find out what was going on after we broke up. But, where there is life, there is hope. Not false hope on thinking she will come back though. Real hope that I am going to meet my future loving wife soon. I have fantasies about my ex coming back, thinking it would be the same and I could forgive her and make it work. But it won't. It's like people who say money can't buy you happiness, but they still want to find out anyways if it is true or not.
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