Silver_star Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 You may or may not have read my threads before. My exbf were dating two years on and off (him always breaking up with me, this last time being the 4th) . Last time he brke up with me i swore it was the last straw it was right before the holidays and it hurt soo bad, i have been on LS ever since. I have been getting better, and i didnt contact him at all! He contacted me last night and started beggin for me back, saying he still loves me and he made a mistake and he sstill wants to be my best friend...and all the stuff i was dying to hear. He says he missed me every day since, but on his fb ( i looked today, because ive been avoiding it) and hes grinding up on smoe girls in a photoalbum called NEWYEARS 2010, so he obviously wasnt too torn. WHat the hell is he trying to do...its hurting again. I dont want to go thru this again, but he was my best friend for 2 years, and its tempting to at least be frirends with him.
Author Silver_star Posted January 28, 2010 Author Posted January 28, 2010 Ive really been looking at other posts for some insight. It seems the sensible thing to do would to NOT be friends with him, but what if i feel differently towards him now? Like no romantic feelings linger.. is that possible? He asked me to go to coffee tonight (just as friends) and i have made it clear that i dont wanna get back together...do u think hes gonna try anyways? I dont get him. Should I go, or would seeing him be a bad move?
Eeyore79 Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 If he's begging you to reconsider, he'll beg even harder if you meet him for coffee. If you want to date him again then go for coffee, if not then stay away. You can only be friends if no romantic feelings linger on either side, and he obviously still has romantic feelings, so you can't be friends. Tbh it sounds to me like he doesn't really want you, he just wants you to be at his beck and call when he fancies a bit, or when he needs an ego boost. I'm willing to bet that if you get back together he will dump you again. It is not a stable and lasting relationship if he keeps dumping you! A decent guy who cares about you would never do that to you. My advice is to stay well away from him. He had several chances and he has proved himself to be unreliable and untrustworthy; if I were you I'd avoid him and look for a decent, reliable guy who won't mess you about.
xbluudevilx Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 Just stay away period, buddy. Not worth the heartbreak again.
Ilovecake Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 Silver star here is how I would gage it. How would you feel if you guys met up for coffee and he brought a girl with him? I mean if you're friends and nothing more, no romantic feelings, it shouldn't bother you. Right? If you're OK with that than you are definitely ready to be friends but if it bothers you in the slightest I would say you are not even close to being over him.
Angel1111 Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 He has had plenty of chances to realize that he loves you. After the 2nd break-up, that would've been it for me. Maybe someday down the road you can be friends with him but, right now, it's way too soon. If you spend time with him right now, he's just going to end up convincing you to take him back. Taking him back just sends a message that says, 'Yes, I will take you back even if you did rip my heart out 3 other times and you'll probably do it again - but I have no self-esteem and you can treat me any way you want.' He doesn't deserve your friendship or any more chances.
sunrae Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 Kick him to the gutter where he belongs. He already got one to many chances with you. You can do and deserve so much better. Dont waste anymore time on this loser!
Author Silver_star Posted January 28, 2010 Author Posted January 28, 2010 Silver star here is how I would gage it. How would you feel if you guys met up for coffee and he brought a girl with him? I mean if you're friends and nothing more, no romantic feelings, it shouldn't bother you. Right? If you're OK with that than you are definitely ready to be friends but if it bothers you in the slightest I would say you are not even close to being over him. I think if he brought a girl i wouldnt care. I might even be relieved cause it would mean he is not gonna be trying to get with me again. Altho i would wonder why he brought a girl to coffee with me there. But yeah..i think the reason why i am semi-wanting to go is because i want to return the favor of hurting him how hes hurt me. I wanna go an reeniforce how uninterested i am in a relationship with him while looking super gorgeous. I guess thats immature, but I think ive come along way in "getting over it", and i really dont care if im in his life right now or not, but id really like to be there for him in the future as a friend if thats an option and i dont think it will be if i tell him to drop dead. Maybe im afraid of letting go completley?
Author Silver_star Posted January 28, 2010 Author Posted January 28, 2010 Thanks everyone for helping me through all of this..You have no idea how much stronger i feel compared to how weak i felt at the beginning of all of this.
Angel1111 Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 (edited) id really like to be there for him in the future as a friend if thats an option and i dont think it will be if i tell him to drop dead. Maybe im afraid of letting go completley? And this is exactly why you've been dumped 4 times....flirting with #5. Again, he doesn't deserve your love or friendship. He blew it -- many, many times. Edited January 28, 2010 by Angel1111
OndaChin Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 I feel for you under these circumstances but please trust your "gut" feelings on this. Inductive reasoning suggest: After numerous "Failed Attempts" you will once again be disappointed. *If he had made "one" mistake and begged you back, I understand the wanting to try again. However, he hasn't figured sh*t out after many chances and if you truly meant something he would have followed through. Either he is not wanting to change or just too stupid to care about changing. Either way, it's bad news for you! Please, end this with him. He is an Emotional Vampire that is sucking the life out of you. Good Luck with your decision!
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