Serena2009 Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 Is this guy a CP? Those words (the OP's response to my post) sound eerily familiar..... Carhill, you nailed it and amazingly early in the thread!! Yeah, he very well could be. He has only been in one serious relationship before. They were together for 5 years, and she broke up with him out of the blue because she fell in love with someone else. That was two years ago. Deep down he's like a really emotional, romantic guy, and I know he's afraid of getting attached. Which is why I think he broke up with me in the first place. We dated for 3 months, everything really was kind of amazing. We had our first bump in the road (due to outside stuff - long story), and not long after that he made a comment saying, "sometimes I think we should just break up now before we fall in love with each other, that way we won't get hurt." A week later he told me he wasn't ready for a relationship. He also said at the time that he still had feelings for me, but that he was confused and he knew he couldn't handle everything just then. My theory is that he broke up with me, thinking we could just be friends and he wouldn't get more attached. But when you're still talking to someone day in and day out for 5 months, you might get even more attached than you were to begin with. Squeaky, Take a look at what I've bolded, its all part and parcel to CP thinking and behavior!! What tipped me off before this post was your description of him getting all emotional in November and telling you that he doesn't have romantic feelings for you and then immediately drawing closer emotionally to you through his actions. I've been in the exact situation with the words being completely contrary to the actions and it is a complete mind-f and all bass-ackwards!! With some CPs, they will say something such as your guy did to create distance and then act in such a way to bring you emotionally closer. I could give you countless personal examples but suffice it to say that I know exactly what you're describing and its utterly confusing!! Their actions don't match their words and it results in mixed signals. Also, your description of how amazing the first 3 months were ties in. Read some books by Steven Carter and Julia Sokol so you know what you're dealing with. Are you hoping for some kind of a romantic future with this man? Because if you are, unfortunately, it could be a very long and difficult road!
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