cartierbenjamin Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 hey whats up Im in need of your advice once again if thats okay with you.... The female that I have been having issues has acted all kind of crazy....lately. I'll go by days if you care to read. Friday- I was working and thinking about her for the whole day. When I got off I decided to call her to see if I can stop by. She said she was going to out eat with some friends. So I told her I would stay for a couple of minutes just wanted to see how she is doing. She said okay. I went and visited her for about 30 minutes then she got a text message from her friends that they were going to a house party instead. She wasnt messing with it. So I said we can go out eat if she wanted to. So we did, we went to red lobster ate good had some laughs. Brought her home. We chilled for a little bit then I left. Satuarday- I called her a week in advance and asked her if she would want to go to a play with me. She said yes. The morning of Saturday she calls me and says she will get off at 6pm and doesnt know how long it will take for her to get dressed. The play is at 8pm. I told her that I will pick her up from work and drop her off to her place so she can get ready. Her response, was Im not going to get dressed in front of you, like that (I don't know if she didnt want me to see her get ready or she is distant?) So I dropperd her off and roamed the area for like an hour and then she called that she was ready....She looked real good which I appreciated that. We get to the play right on time. She really enjoyed it because she was commenting and laughing the whole time, so that made me happy. After the play we went to Adams Morgan and the Diner to eat. Once again we are eating good and laughing. After eating we went to a bar and took shots of Patron. We hit the photo booth in the bar and start kissing while taking pictures lol. So we go back to her place and we are chilling for a while. We both enjoying each other company. Then she asks me where was I the past 2 weeks? I told her that I was being considerate of your time because ur busy with school and her 2 jobs. Didn't want to press her too much. She said she has been confused lately and stressed. She said she really likes me a lot, but at times she doesnt know if we should just be friends, she said her mind changes every 5 minutes or so. We started making out......then I told her I will take her to work the next day...she said sure. So I went to my car to get a change of clothes. We go back in her place and were making out once again. Then she says we cant do this anymore. Im like what? She says this. So she said that she doesnt want to put me in the middle of her situation and that I didnt do anything wrong and she is just confused right now. She told me to stop taking her out because she doesnt want to feel like she is using me. She came out and said she is not sure if she is around me because she doesnt have any1. So she gets off her own bed and sleeps on the floor. She later goes to the bathroom. While she is in the bathroom. I looked at her text messages. I know I shouldnt have but I needed to. She had a conversation with a male friend explaining that she likes me a lot, but her ex boyfriend keeps calling her. She told the guy friend the things I've done, but said that she is looking for something long-term and her fear is being with someone who is not destined to be in her future. A while ago she told me her ex really ****ed her up bad. I dont know what happened. He goes to school out of state and they are not from the same area. She would send him money and when she doesnt he would get real mad at her. It wild cause her facebook message would say "I know what I want and know what I deserve and if you dont understanf you will get the boot." Cause it kind of saddens me that I treat you real well, but she is chasing after something that hurt her. Sunday Morning- We wake up the mood is akward she is being distant. So I ask her does she need a ride to work. She said not anymore Im going to catch the train. She is quiet then says she is going that way towards the train. I give her a hug and lean in for a kiss....She told me "No dont do that, No please dont do that". As soon as she said that I just walked away. I havent talk to her since.
Crazy Magnet Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 Two words. Run away. Not worth your time, effort, energy, or heart ache in the end. Give her space, as in, eternal space.
meerkat stew Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 Agree, bats in the belfry. They will infect you too if you continue with this one Leave her to play out her little drama fantasies in peace.
DustySaltus Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 Don't know if I agree with Red Lobster and checking her phone but I will say that this girl is clearly not over her ex. She may have feelings for him still or just numb from the pain he caused her. Either way, she has so many issues going on internally because of this that she isn't capable of giving the attention to you that you deserve. She's told you that you should stop talking to her because her head isn't right. I think you should listen to her advice. Let her go and find herself and if she comes back down the line i'm sure she'll be a stronger person as will you.
sumdude Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 I agree with the others. Sometimes you need to throw the fish back in the water.
Author cartierbenjamin Posted January 26, 2010 Author Posted January 26, 2010 yea thats how it went down.....She was mad the whole night of Saturday and Sunday. Do women try to blame men on their own issues. Valentines Day is coming up should a little card or anything be given...
Johnny M Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 Valentines Day is coming up should a little card or anything be given... I don't think you're comprehending what the people here are trying to tell you...
boogieboy Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 Valentines Day is coming up should a little card or anything be given... You can give her a card, but make sure ytou put the guys name on it that she is dating now, because that guy isnt you, it wont ever be you again, and the card comes from you it will be meaningless to her. She would rather the card come from the new guy. Or her ex. She avoids you for a reason. Means she doesnt want to hear from you.
You'reasian Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 Two words. Run away. Not worth your time, effort, energy, or heart ache in the end. Give her space, as in, eternal space. I agree with this. Step back. Take a deep breath and let her do her thing...
DustySaltus Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 You can give her a card, but make sure ytou put the guys name on it that she is dating now, because that guy isnt you, it wont ever be you again, and the card comes from you it will be meaningless to her. She would rather the card come from the new guy. Or her ex. She avoids you for a reason. Means she doesnt want to hear from you. Cartier, I know it sucks but ^this is 100% what's going on right now. For your own sanity, you have to move on.
Author cartierbenjamin Posted February 2, 2010 Author Posted February 2, 2010 (edited) Reminiscing on the matter...It's crazy how she flipped the script on me and got mad at me at the end of the night when I did nothing wrong. I dont know what I should do? Do you think she would call back? If so, does she owe me an apology on the way she was acting? Edited February 2, 2010 by cartierbenjamin
DustySaltus Posted February 2, 2010 Posted February 2, 2010 She's a runner and you need to let the runners keep running. She was using you and I know it sucks but take it as a lesson learned. She got angry with you for some bs reason because she wants to try and make herself feel less guilty. Can't you see how completely selfish that is? And you expect an apology after that? It's not going to happen. This isn't the type of girl you want in the long term. They say when someone wants POWER they look for someone to appeal to THEIR self interest. She wasn't interested in having a relationship but she was interested in having control over you. That's not a solid foundation for any relationship. You're not going to get an apology from her because that would require effort and her admitting that she screwed up. She's thinking, "Hey, I can just run away from this anytime I want". And that problem is going to follow her around until something serious happens where she realizes, "Hey, I need to get my act together". That's her job, not yours. It's time to move forward, good luck.
Author cartierbenjamin Posted February 11, 2010 Author Posted February 11, 2010 I have another question....She has updated her facebook status with things like hinting Valetines Day she has no one to spend it with and trying to make plans kind of (seems desperate). Also saying if she has a Valentine they would be happy. I don't know if I should send a card or just dont do anything at all. I even wonder if she is going to realize what she has done to me on that day, or even think of her actions? Because if everything was fine she would have a lovely Valentines Day.
Author cartierbenjamin Posted February 11, 2010 Author Posted February 11, 2010 Advice will be helpful
sullysteve Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 So you want to buy this girl flowers, chocolates and dinner for Valentine's Day as reward for the way she's treated you? Snap out of it man.
meerkat stew Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 The best course is just to leave her be. She knows where to find you. Valentines doesn't change anything.
Author cartierbenjamin Posted May 5, 2010 Author Posted May 5, 2010 hey whats up Im in need of your advice once again if thats okay with you.... The female that I have been having issues has acted all kind of crazy....lately. I'll go by days if you care to read. Friday- I was working and thinking about her for the whole day. When I got off I decided to call her to see if I can stop by. She said she was going to out eat with some friends. So I told her I would stay for a couple of minutes just wanted to see how she is doing. She said okay. I went and visited her for about 30 minutes then she got a text message from her friends that they were going to a house party instead. She wasnt messing with it. So I said we can go out eat if she wanted to. So we did, we went to red lobster ate good had some laughs. Brought her home. We chilled for a little bit then I left. Satuarday- I called her a week in advance and asked her if she would want to go to a play with me. She said yes. The morning of Saturday she calls me and says she will get off at 6pm and doesnt know how long it will take for her to get dressed. The play is at 8pm. I told her that I will pick her up from work and drop her off to her place so she can get ready. Her response, was Im not going to get dressed in front of you, like that (I don't know if she didnt want me to see her get ready or she is distant?) So I dropperd her off and roamed the area for like an hour and then she called that she was ready....She looked real good which I appreciated that. We get to the play right on time. She really enjoyed it because she was commenting and laughing the whole time, so that made me happy. After the play we went to Adams Morgan and the Diner to eat. Once again we are eating good and laughing. After eating we went to a bar and took shots of Patron. We hit the photo booth in the bar and start kissing while taking pictures lol. So we go back to her place and we are chilling for a while. We both enjoying each other company. Then she asks me where was I the past 2 weeks? I told her that I was being considerate of your time because ur busy with school and her 2 jobs. Didn't want to press her too much. She said she has been confused lately and stressed. She said she really likes me a lot, but at times she doesnt know if we should just be friends, she said her mind changes every 5 minutes or so. We started making out......then I told her I will take her to work the next day...she said sure. So I went to my car to get a change of clothes. We go back in her place and were making out once again. Then she says we cant do this anymore. Im like what? She says this. So she said that she doesnt want to put me in the middle of her situation and that I didnt do anything wrong and she is just confused right now. She told me to stop taking her out because she doesnt want to feel like she is using me. She came out and said she is not sure if she is around me because she doesnt have any1. So she gets off her own bed and sleeps on the floor. She later goes to the bathroom. While she is in the bathroom. I looked at her text messages. I know I shouldnt have but I needed to. She had a conversation with a male friend explaining that she likes me a lot, but her ex boyfriend keeps calling her. She told the guy friend the things I've done, but said that she is looking for something long-term and her fear is being with someone who is not destined to be in her future. A while ago she told me her ex really ****ed her up bad. I dont know what happened. He goes to school out of state and they are not from the same area. She would send him money and when she doesnt he would get real mad at her. It wild cause her facebook message would say "I know what I want and know what I deserve and if you dont understanf you will get the boot." Cause it kind of saddens me that I treat you real well, but she is chasing after something that hurt her. Sunday Morning- We wake up the mood is akward she is being distant. So I ask her does she need a ride to work. She said not anymore Im going to catch the train. She is quiet then says she is going that way towards the train. I give her a hug and lean in for a kiss....She told me "No dont do that, No please dont do that". As soon as she said that I just walked away. I havent talk to her since. So about three months past with no contact with her. I told myself I would never talk to her again in my life unless she calls and apologizes. So out of the blue she calls one night to apologize. On the other end of the phone I'm quite. She invited me to come over. I did in hopes of she got everything in life together and she was ready now. When I get over we are having casual talk and then she tells me she may not be graduating, because her professor made a mistake. She is crying in tears and IM THERE TO COMFORT her about the situation and giving her motivational words. I joked around and made her forget about the issue and promised her everything will be okay. She said she is sorry for what she has done and she sometimes pushes things away that are best for her. The next week she calls me and asked what am I doing. That night we went out to get some drinks and ate. While eating she invited me to meet her family for Brunch and to attend her graduation. She also asked me to come visit her in New York were she will be for the summer. When we got back to her house everyhting was fine, then it seemed like something was bothering. So I told her Im about to leave if your going through one of your moments, because I cant go through it again. She begged and pleaded for me to stay saying I am the man she wants to be with and dont leave. I stayed the night and took her to work the next day. The next day we talked about what we were going to that night. It was my brothers birthday he scheduled a fight party and I planned to attend the fight party between Mayweather vs. Mosley or go somewhere and watch it with my friends. I invited her if she wanted to come. That night she called and asked what was I doing. My reply was nothing. I asked her what was she doing. She said she was about to go to the emergency room, because it hurts when she tries to open her eyes. I told her im not going to the fight and I'll see her at the hospital. After leaving the hospital she had a patch on her eye. I suggested we should go get something to eat even with a patch on her eye. After we did I stayed the night. Recently since she was graduating, I sent her some Edible Arrangements and note telling her she has reached her goal even through the hardships she has faced over her college career and made her a mix cd. She got the edible arrangements and note, but has yet to get the cd. She called and said thanks. I went to her house that night and everything was fine, when things were getting heated her mood changed. I kept asking is everything fine and she said yea. But I knew it wasnt. When I kept asking she kept getting mad. So I told her why is she trippin with the mood changes again. She comes out and says I like you alot but I think you like me more than I do you. So I said why did you call me when your going through things. She said because I know you care about me and you will be there. So I'm starting to get heated and tell her why don't you call your other options when you have problems, they dont mess with you like that they dont care about you. She said she doesnt want to talk to me at all. I asked her name three things I have ever did wrong to you. She said you keep asking what wrong thats it. It's a dirty world.
tkgirl Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 two words.... DOOR... MAT!!! actually I think that's one word seriously dude, she was using you the whole time... it sucks but now you need to forget about her and go find someone who will appreciate you.
Bejita463 Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 Seems like you should have ceased speaking with her like you were told numerous times, including by her.
make me believe Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 Dude, I would have been out of there the second somebody chose to sleep on the floor instead of in bed with me! You are NEVER going to get anywhere with this girl. She wants you around when it's convenient for her (probably when the other guy(s) she's dating aren't available or she feels like a free meal or two), and that's it. You are making yourself look like a fool by throwing yourself at her anytime she gives you any scrap of attention.
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