urgent, when to or should i contact my ex?

[TheMastaPlan]

my ex and i broke up december 15th(she broke up with me), we still talked up till about a week ago, last wed morning (1/20). we hung out a week before that and kissed and cuddled and well was just us. she told me everythign seemed so right and that she missed me, but wasn't ready to jump into things. i agreed and said im willing to take us as slow as possible. with me saying that she jumped in and said im tired of u planning for us to be together, if its meant to be itll be. Well anwyas i wasnt PLANNING on anything. But here is my ordeal. Its been a week with NC, i called her on sunday to talk about our previous landlord and our security deposit issues. left her a voicemail saying, 'hey talked to our landlord and got some info on the secuirty deposit, give me a call when you get a chance.' i still haven't heard back from her, im beginning to think she doesnt want or miss me anymore, ive talked to some friends about some stuff like sending her a video text of me signing 'i miss my best friend' - not girlfriend but best friend. the reason id sign it is because she taught me signs from ehre and there so i could communicate with her brother who is deaf. she does not know that i know 'i miss my best friend'. some of my friends say send it the middle of this week others say stay no contact. she stopped talking to me last week because my facebook page had a lil wayne quote about "safe sex is great sex, better wear a latex, cuz you dont want that late text, that i think im late text" and she bugged out and said that i was still the same and didnt want to talk to me anymore. i was confused, it was a quote, not directed towards anyone i just thoguth it was funny...anyways im not sure what to do, i want to contact her so badly, i know NC is golden, it worked for me before but now its just weird that she hasn't contacted me. im so confused as if i should send it or not? or wait a week? i really do miss her as my best friend, we told eachother everything. i dont want her thinking that im obsessed with her or missing her like crazy, i want her to come back and tell me that...i know she misses me i just want to hear it. i dont know what to do. i may see her this weekend and am debating waiting to talk to her then and show her that im ok with us being liek this - hoping it will make her miss me and not want to lose me then sending her that text next weekend, im just caught upa nd really want to hear that she misses me. i just dont understand why seeing a quote like that would make someone not want to talk to me at all...or at least try to contact me, she usually had done it within a few days...does this mean shes over me?

 

 

ps ive been doing my thing and not putting my life on hold, going out A LOT more and traveling and stuff, i just miss her company and us being us...any ideas of how to get her to meet somehow and hang out so she can remeber why she fell in love with me? ive been wroking out and getting back into shape, quit smoking cigarettes even tho i only did it when iw as drunk. self imporiving myself to proove to her i can be that same guy she fell in love with. please can i get both male and female advice!! last time i broke the NC it worked out fine, i actually emailed her a craigslist add of our old apt and she was like omg i was hoping that was you who emailed me. i just dont know what to do! ahh

[almostpassedit]

she's fawking someone else.

she told you

your still there

she can keep fawking this person guilt free

 

when you find out and get upset, she'll tell you to fawk off.

you two already broke up

you cuddled but no sex right? thtas cuz she's fawking someone else

 

to answer your question:

NEVER.

 

Stop being a sucker, go NC asap.

 

also don't send that video tape, you'll regret it, trust me.

its over

move on loser.

[TaraMaiden]

Well...yes.

I wouldn't have put it quite in that way, but in essence, I completely agree.

 

You need to shut the door on this one, and shoot the bolts across, pronto.

I know I sound like a stuck record, but read the link in my signature about going No Contact.

And do as it says, 100%, 100% of the time.

 

Otherwise, the 'loser' label might stick.....

[silic0ntoad]

Never contact her again. If she contacts you, ignore her.

 

You are the focus now.

 

You are now the star of the show.

 

Don't let her control you without even being there.

 

So, in essence, never contact her or enable her contacting you again.

[TheMastaPlan]

lol its funny cuz she isnt sleeping with anyone, i actaully talked to her last night when she contacted me and i responded a few hours later, says she misses me and the reason we didnt have sex was because we both become too attached, lol some people on this site think they know it all...im living my life and i am still friends with her but i have let her go and shes starting to realize she misses me....i always said we gotta let fate take the path and if its meant to be it will be, lol call me a loser all you want, but this fourm isn't looking for people to be shut down by people like you....in some ways this site is great, others its a load of crap...but thanks for the input - just because some stuff happened to you in the past doesnt mean its the same for every girl but ill still keep it in mind

[TaraMaiden]

Fine.

I hope you're happy with this.

but I'm almost sure you'll be back in a short while asking us what the hell she wants and what should you do, because you don't understand her.....

 

it's a pattern.

It's a pattern we've seen, time and time and time again, and trust me - it goes your way about one times in 200.....

The rest of the time, guys come back feeling mind-phukked.

so I wish you well, but we're here for the next time.

 

lol.

[almostpassedit]

dude your a moron.

 

go listen to more rap songs, try this one by jay z entitled "girls, girls, girls"

 

that should be your motto not

 

"baby come back to me"

 

ps, the two other people agreed with me, i'm sorry if i'm blunt but get it through your head.. go NC, heal, recover, live your life and then after feelings are gone, get in contact or not, or stay in contact either way, you'll learn in time, the hard way.

 

I got 99 problems but chick ain't one.

Edited January 27, 2010 by almostpassedit

[TheMastaPlan]

almostpassed people come here for support, ive disregarded what youve said beacuse, you must be how old? i know what those songs are, but you cant control who your heart loves, ill let fate take its path...im not trying to do anything with her, ive moved on and living my life, that post was a few days back after a rough weekend...im not expecting anything out of this but friendship...if you notice i said i miss my BEST FRIEND not GIRLFRIED lolol...but good looks on trying to make ppl miserable, no wonder you dont have a girl as a problem i dont see how anyone would want u but wahtever man, thanks to who else...ive taken ur advuice into consideration

[OndaChin]

Damn......

 

Masta, I feel some deep hurtin in your words.

 

Please understand and try to think things through "clearly" with what others are posting here on your situation.

 

I know you are in denial and thats ok- because it's only human. You're hurt.

 

BUT

 

You are in her eyes nothing more than a: Tool & Floor Mat.

 

I know it hurts! I've been in this SAME SITUATION. (No kidding)

 

The ONLY option you have left is simply to let it go (and her) and fade away.

She might down the road- "When her little world crashes" come to you as a tool for her discretion or just to wipe her feet on- but otherwise her motives will be for her own selfish reasons

 

Either way- you will need to cut your losses.

 

Trust me on this... It won't have a happy ending (they never do in these situations). She's emotionally checked out on you and theres nothing you can do now.

 

I've been there....

[No Foolin]

I'm gonna chime in on this one.............

 

Lol, what do you honestly think is going to happen here? She one day is going to realize what a great person you are and change her mind? MastaPlan, chick has already dated you = she already knows you. That being said, she forwarded you the opt out clause and rolled = she doesn't want you.

 

See relationships are an emotional animal, especially for girls. You're trying to use logic to solve an emotional issue. Thus every little thing you try isn't going to work. Bottom line is "When it involves attraction, you can't reason, will or outlast someones feelings" ergo attraction is not a choice, she either is or isn't.

 

Most importantly, why are we talking about this? Do you see what you are doing to yourself? This is over, and its you on the side of the road waitin for a bus that isn't going to show up. FACT: She will move on, and being her friend, you get a front row seat. FACT: You will not recover until you pimp some NC, period. FACT: All in all, this is just a little thing, and the sooner you start worrying about you, the sooner this will be a distant memory.

 

No Foolin

[TheMastaPlan]

lol its all good in the hood

[within2]

I also think its BS that some people here believe that if a girl doesnt sleep with her ex then shes screwing someone else. Typical male thoughts. NOT TRUE. If some of you feel that way it makes me question the type of women some of you have dated.

 

For me, having sex means something and if me and my ex were together I knew that sleeping with him would most likely just make it harder....

[TheMastaPlan]

within, thats how she is...and always has been with me, she says its only been me and that when she sleeps with me she gets more attached because of the way she feels about me.....i saw her the other day and she was all smiles but was like omg i have the crazies butterflies..so i mean it shows she still has feelings towards me...she called me later and texted me, ive been playin it cool and dont want to over do it...im hoping things will work out but i still have doubts and am not getting too attached, we'll see what happens in the end

[Morgued]

lol its all good in the hood

 

YYYYYYeah, if it was then...why post? Just to vent...naw couldn't be...cause it's all good right? Excuse my ignorance, but I think i'll wait a few more days before I comment on what I really think lol.

 

All I can say right now is that I completely agree with 'No Foolin'. Personally I believe that's the best advice you're going to get from this.

 

I will say good luck to you though sir.

[lostgetfound]

You said... "i dont want her thinking that im obsessed with her or missing her like crazy"

Dude, every girl wants to hear that. I think you should poor your heart out to her, tell her everything you feel. Put your heart out on the line, cus if you don't you will regret your whole life. You have to put your pride aside, and be humble. Tell her what you want, find out what that is, if you want to be with her and nothing more than let it be that. Make a choice and stick with it, this back and forth BS is crap. You can usually tell when someone doesnt feel the same way, if shes not willing to commit then her heart isnt there. Trust me, been there done that.

If she doesnt want commit, Move on, find someone that really wants your heart, trust me, moving on for dudes is easier, find somoene new. Once you find someone new I guarntee that will get her back, but hopefully you wont take her back.

 

Accpect the situation for what it is, instead of what you want it to be.

[TheMastaPlan]

good advice, thank you...im stayin cool for now, things will play out...i cant fight fate, ive decided - whatever happens, happens...she knows how i feel, i gotta see where she stands but im giving her time to think for now...