cuppa Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 Man, this guy's really going all out to "out" this woman that ruined his marriage.... to everyone (giving all men fair warning), even posting a picture of her to get an I.D., really raking her over the coals in attempt to smear her name (though mass emails) Yikes. I guess the ex wife was right to ditch him. He doesn't seem very stable and can't imagine him to be a loving husband either.
Woggle Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 Relationship sabotage, whether done for personal or ideological reasons, is beneath contempt. I have more respect for the OW than a MW's virtuous, politically correct woman friend, who sabotages a perfectly good marriage out of some destructive feminist zeal. Saying that, I suspect these marital sabotage occurrences are extremely rare: more talked about than occurring. Most marrieds are more than capable of destroying their marriages without outside assistance. This surprises me coming from you. I thought you would be cheering on these women because the men must have done something wrong.
Woggle Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 My ex friend is a case of a man trying to sabotage a marriage but I do feel he is a rarity. I wish him and his ex would get back together because they both deserve each other. What happened with my ex is a good example of this. When we were living in New York we were truly happy together and I still believe that back then she was sincere. We were living in a rundown building on the lower east side inhabited mostly be junkies but it was us against the world and we were determined to make it together. We were very much in love. When we moved to New Jersey she started hanging out with some new friends of hers and she became a different person. She started doing coke and started blaming me for all her unhappiness in life and I believe that these new friends played a large part. All of them were cheating on their husbands and boyfriends and they egged her on to join them and it sent her on a downard spiral she has yet to recover. My current wife knows a few women who try to pull her into this crap and she wants nothing to do with it.
Stung Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 I once met a man who was a translator at a local foreign consulate. Bright, articulate, fluent in multiple languages, attractive...seemed like a great guy at first, and when I met him he was hanging out with a couple of his guy friends, who also seemed normal enough. We talked for a while, then he asked me out and I said yes and gave him my phone number, but after a phone conversation with him where he seemed very different than he had in person and bitterly and derogatorily mentioned his ex two or three times and made some very strange awkward non-sequiturs, I decided I wasn't interested after all. I told him thanks but no thanks and he got verbally abusive with me over the phone; I realized I had really dodged a bullet there and felt incredibly relieved I hadn't gone out with him, but I forgot about him soon enough. A year later, my new roommate had a date with a man who struck her as weirdly possessive and set off some red flags for her. After one date, when he called her again she told him she wasn't interested. He sat outside our house and spied on her for a while, realized she was my roommate, and decided I must have influenced her, told her not to date him anymore. I didn't even know it was the same guy, I had nothing to do with her situation other than empathizing with her when she came home and told me her date had seemed a little weird and she had been uncomfortable. However, he focused the bulk of his formidable anger on me. He called us both, over and over again; I got over 25 voicemails in one day, angry messages blaming me for being some kind of 'angry feminist' out to 'ruin' him. My roommate got a lot of phone calls too, and some of them were violent threats against me for 'sabotaging' their 'love'--she got scared and called the cops. A uniformed pair of officers came to visit and listened to the messages; they told us there wasn't much they could do unless we saw him physically lurking around our place, but that he met the profile of a man they were aware of who had been stalking and harrassing a lot of women in the area (targeting co-eds of a local college). An angry, unbalanced man. He called both of us about twenty times a day for another week, but after the cops had been sniffing around, we never actually saw him again, and eventually he faded away and became a bad memory. I'm not saying your friend is necessarily this unbalanced. Maybe his wife really was a weak and easily-influenced sheep swayed away from a life of plural happiness by the mechanations of a bitter, unhappy friend--weirder sh*t has happened. But maybe your friend is an angry, unstable guy with a victim mentality who is trying to shift blame off of himself because he can't stand the introspective spotlight--weirder sh*t than that has happened, too. Because of the weirdness of his leafletting campaign I tend to suspect the latter, frankly.
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