Jump to content
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted

Hello all,

I have been with my girlfriend for four years now, and I very much love her. However, sometimes she doesn't seem to get my personality, and it frustrates the heck out of me. About a year ago, we went through a rough patch where her ignorance of my needs pushed me away from her, and rather than talking to her openly about my problems, I simply avoided the confrontation (mainly because she is very emotional and a constant worrier). With feeling frustrated with the relationship, I made the mistake of getting drunk around a friend of mine who used to have feelings for me, and I wound up making out with her. Nothing more. Of course I came forward with this to my girlfriend, apologized, and we worked it out. I told her how I had felt annoyed lately,and we grew in our relationship.

 

Well now its been a year, and I believe that what I once thought to be her being ignorant about my needs is actually incompatibility. I believe we just see things differently, or think about things in differents ways. I've began to lose the spark when I kiss her, and I find that she often has to ask me to kiss her deeply. It makes me sad, but I can't find the emotion to enjoy it. I've noticed that I've become increasingly flirtatious with girls at bars when I'm "out with the guys", and I feel that I'd really like to start dating again. I'm not afraid of commitment, but I am afraid that being with my girlfriend isn't going to lead me down the happiest routes in life.

 

I love her a lot, but I feel I may not be "in love with her", and despite what people say, there most definitely is a difference. I know I'd like to break up with her, or at least go on a break, but I'm afraid of hurting her, and afraid that I may be wrong after I do. I've been on the other end of a horrible breakup before, and remembering that pain makes it hard for me to issue it onto someone else, especially onto someone that I love, and is as sweet as my girlfriend.

 

I know that by having these thoughts, it's apparent that I should end it with my girlfriend. It isn't fair to either of us if I'm unhappy. However, I find myself lacking the courage to end it. If anyone out there has ever felt this way, please lend me your opinions.

 

Thanks in advance,

JohnJacob

Posted

hey mate,

 

you must just be honest with yourself, and her.

 

happiness will only come from honesty,

 

i remember when i broke up with an old boyfriend who i didn't love any longer, well i don't think i ever loved him, but regardless...

 

i sent him this long email explaining how i loved him as a friend (which was true) and that i had to break up for us to ensure our happiness in the future. and then he came over to my flat to discuss everything.

 

i believe, in life, in every aspect of life, we must be honest.

 

trust me that it will get harder and harder for you to be maintain happiness around her, and it will drive you further apart.

 

as much as you're scared to hurt her, you must look at it as a necessary for you both to grow and be happy.

 

it would be much worse for her to realize she has in some way been led on,

 

i wish you luck!

 

it is tough but trust that only good can come out of ending it properly if that is what your heart and gut is telling you to do.

×
×
  • Create New...