guy.lepage Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 I went out with a nice girl and somehow we ended up talking about sex. We were both getting really turned on. I know this girl doesn't want to be "used" for sex and neither is my intention but the conversation sort of gave the wrong impression. At some point she was too excited and decided to go home. How can I fix this? If I ask her out on another date I fear she might think I'll jump on her.
Johnny M Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 I went out with a nice girl and somehow we ended up talking about sex. We were both getting really turned on. I know this girl doesn't want to be "used" for sex and neither is my intention but the conversation sort of gave the wrong impression. At some point she was too excited and decided to go home. How can I fix this? If I ask her out on another date I fear she might think I'll jump on her. Just call her up and talk about something other than sex...
The Crown Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 Deep down she wants it as well. The thing is even if you are a nice guy if it got sexual right away she may feel she is being a slut. She wants it but she wants it most likely to mean something. If she likes you she may have the same feelings as you but be unsure of what a sexual encounter could lead to. It is an unfair stereotype but if you got with her on the first date you would be labeled a player or the man and when you tell your friends about they will think she is easy. This is unfair but the truth. I do not know this girl but this is my speculation from your short story. I would give it a day or two then call her and be super casual. Do not bring up anything sexual or what happened wrong on the first date unless she brings it up and if she does just play it off cool and make it seem like it was harmless fun. Second date should = something fun she will enjoy that is not sexual to show you are a decent guy even if she at first had a different first impression. First impressions are hard to change but are possible. Maybe you are even overreacting and it wasn't even that bad. It seems like you can recover from this. If you want to try answering my question that would be appreciated also.
BobSacamento Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 Invite her to an activity as non sexual as possible. Like bowling for example haha.
The Crown Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 Also if it does get sexual make sure you do not use any defective condoms from BobSacamento.
Author guy.lepage Posted January 26, 2010 Author Posted January 26, 2010 Thanks for your replies! I usually am not aggressive on first dates but this time around we were both laughing hard and being very flirtatious. There was some touching, which she initiated (and I quickly followed suit). Now here's the catch -- I did call her back but she is visibly avoiding me. I honestly did not want this to happen. Would a note telling her what I'm really looking for be helpful in this situation?
Author guy.lepage Posted January 26, 2010 Author Posted January 26, 2010 Invite her to an activity as non sexual as possible. Like bowling for example haha. LOL I once went bowling with my date (I was very young) and she asked me whether I like big or small balls. Somehow even bowling can become sexual!
Author guy.lepage Posted January 26, 2010 Author Posted January 26, 2010 Also if it does get sexual make sure you do not use any defective condoms from BobSacamento. I'm telling you, I'd go 40 days and 40 nights without it if I have to! She's the kind of softie that writes poems and stuff like that. I really don't want to ruin this!
BG1985 Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 Dude, this was a good thing. It means this girl is comfortable with you. A girl will not talk about sex with a guy whom she does not trust. And no, DO NOT WRITE HER A NOTE! It will kill any chance you have with her. It's natural for a man to be sexual, and you should not apologize for being a man. Now that I see she's avoiding your calls, you may have said something that freaked her out. Hmm, not so sure what do to now.
Author guy.lepage Posted January 26, 2010 Author Posted January 26, 2010 Dude, this was a good thing. It means this girl is comfortable with you. A girl will not talk about sex with a guy whom she does not trust. And no, DO NOT WRITE HER A NOTE! It will kill any chance you have with her. It's natural for a man to be sexual, and you should not apologize for being a man. Now that I see she's avoiding your calls, you may have said something that freaked her out. Hmm, not so sure what do to now. Actually I didn't say anything... I had my hand between her legs and she was having a good time. She left just as she was going to have a really good time...
Author guy.lepage Posted January 26, 2010 Author Posted January 26, 2010 Dude, this was a good thing. It means this girl is comfortable with you. A girl will not talk about sex with a guy whom she does not trust. And no, DO NOT WRITE HER A NOTE! It will kill any chance you have with her. It's natural for a man to be sexual, and you should not apologize for being a man. Now that I see she's avoiding your calls, you may have said something that freaked her out. Hmm, not so sure what do to now. About the note, I wouldn't apologize for wanting her sexually. I would however point out that I'm genuinely interested in her. I'm getting old and my playing days are behind me. I want something I can build upon. I also want to add she is fairly attractive and generally gets a lot of attention from men.
BG1985 Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 Yeah, you maybe went for too much too quickly. I still wouldn't apologize. Are you truly sorry about what happened, or are you sorry that it might not work out? I just don't think writing a note will help things. If you managed to creep her out by playing gynecologist with her in public, the note will just make you look creepier. You may have to just have to write her off as a lost cause. Since you've attempted to make contact, the ball is now in her court.
The Crown Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 If you want to take a stab at my thread "Extreme Girl" I would love the input.
crazy4you Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 It's hard to understand exactly what's going through her head because all girls are different. She may have been sex deprived and talking about it turned her on and then she decided it went too far, or maybe she didn't care at all.. who knows. The best thing to do is completely ignore it and pretend it never happened. Call her up and just talk about anything (other than sex). Invite her to a movie or to a fun date doing something else. Make sure the thought of sex doesn't come up. If she's comfortable with you enough to go on a second date, then you can take it from there. If she isn't, she'll make an excuse and you'll know if you blew it or not.
D-Lish Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 Well, if she is now visibly ignoring you- I'd guess the damage has been done and you should move on.
Author guy.lepage Posted January 26, 2010 Author Posted January 26, 2010 As I typed this thread, I received an email from her... Small talk. So she is not ignoring me anymore...
D-Lish Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 As I typed this thread, I received an email from her... Small talk. So she is not ignoring me anymore... Then make small talk back- and leave the sexual content out of it for some time.
Crazy Magnet Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 Well chat back, and don't give her a play by play of what you'd like to do to her naked! Also, you might try dialing back the sexual content next time you see her. Make it clear you're still into her physically AND mentally though.
jw90063 Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 I went out with a nice girl and somehow we ended up talking about sex. We were both getting really turned on. I know this girl doesn't want to be "used" for sex and neither is my intention but the conversation sort of gave the wrong impression. At some point she was too excited and decided to go home. How can I fix this? If I ask her out on another date I fear she might think I'll jump on her. Well, I'm not saying this is always the case. The thing is, normally when you end up talking about sex, or mostly sex, it may be because you don't have much else in common, or at least this has been my experience in the past.
meerkat stew Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 Never ever be ashamed of expressing non-vulgar, polite sexual interest in a woman. Always express same, it's what you both obviously want, and she was also obviously responsive. It's the most honest way for a man and woman to relate. A woman of quality expects and respects well executed sexual advances that aren't crude, trite or apologetic. Please do not apologize or deemphasize this going forward. If anything at all, take her on a day date in pubic next where you are walking and the sexual tension doesn't form as quickly, but say nothing. She is attracted to the man who wants her sexually. This is 100% natural and the way things are supposed to be. Choose not to accept social and media propaganda categorizing men as all sexually wanton predators. Put the guilt behind you. Best wishes with her.
Johnny M Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 Now here's the catch -- I did call her back but she is visibly avoiding me. It's possible that she's avoiding you for reasons that have nothing to do with the sexual nature of your conversation...
Ruby Slippers Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 Please do not apologize or deemphasize this going forward. If anything at all, take her on a day date in pubic next where you are walking and the sexual tension doesn't form as quickly, but say nothing. She is attracted to the man who wants her sexually. This is 100% natural and the way things are supposed to be. Choose not to accept social and media propaganda categorizing men as all sexually wanton predators. Put the guilt behind you. Best wishes with her. Totally agree. With the last guy I dated, things got a little physical after the second date, which truly was a first for me. He later admitted that he let his desire overtake his reason (so did I), but he certainly didn't apologize for it, and thank goodness. It was hot! Just a little too fast. An apology from him would have been lame. Hinting at the "you're just too sexy to resist" idea, which is what he did, was much better.
Recommended Posts