dashing daisy Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 I haven't seen my ex since before he studied abroad, at that point we were still together. We broke up in an email, and since then I only talked to him a couple times briefly over e-mail or instant messaging. I am half dreading seeing him again, and half hoping I will see him every day. What happens when you see them again? Is it awful, do you talk, do you ignore them?? It feels weird to have this relationship end while he was 4,000 miles away and just never see each other again. But I assume he doesn't care at all, and never thinks of me, or he would call. Why do I care? This guy was dating some girl this whole time abroad, and straight up lied to be about it multiple times. I really thought he loved me, I thought he was a decent guy. Am I just an awful judge of character? Was I wrong about him? It's been 6 months since we broke up, he was dating some girl 2 weeks after we broke up, I'm still hurting...
Howitzer Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 Dude **** the guy. Broke up with you in an email, left you for another girl basically. All I see is some jerk. Ok so I don't see the other side of the relationship: the loving, the caring. But given what he's done to you, I don't really see a good way to get closure out of this. He hasn't called you to see how you were, or said anything meaningful. If you want closure, I'd try imagining the best-case scenario of how things would happen, while keeping it realistic. I don't really see anything positive happening. I don't usually tell people to hold grudges against their ex's, but in this case, I'd suggest just wiping him from your life. I'm sorry this happened. You made a judgement error about a guy; that doesn't mean you're an awful judge. Everyone makes mistakes like this. Don't let it get to you, and affect your self esteem. Best, Howitzer
bananaboat11 Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 I haven't seen my ex since before he studied abroad, at that point we were still together. We broke up in an email, and since then I only talked to him a couple times briefly over e-mail or instant messaging. I am half dreading seeing him again, and half hoping I will see him every day. What happens when you see them again? Is it awful, do you talk, do you ignore them?? It feels weird to have this relationship end while he was 4,000 miles away and just never see each other again. But I assume he doesn't care at all, and never thinks of me, or he would call. Why do I care? This guy was dating some girl this whole time abroad, and straight up lied to be about it multiple times. I really thought he loved me, I thought he was a decent guy. Am I just an awful judge of character? Was I wrong about him? It's been 6 months since we broke up, he was dating some girl 2 weeks after we broke up, I'm still hurting... Speaking from experience being a dumper b/c my ex was abroad and she was seeing someone else...even though she was madly in love with me (she still is and refers to herself as my soulmate )... he's 'displaced' from everything that is you... his home... it's an uncomfortable feeling (I've lived abroad for 2 years on my own...). I would bet that's the case for you as well... you are on his mind... in his thoughts. He just can't process them accordingly. Long distance is VERY hard... especially if you start out near one another and can see eachother every day. I flat out dumped my ex and it took me 8 or 9 months before I broke the no contact and went back to her. I honestly thought she was over me... boy, was I wrong. She almost lost it that I wouldn't talk to her... and was scared I'd never talk to her again. That felt nice (ego boost), but I didn't let it get to my head. Now? We're really good friends... We don't have feelings for eachother... (well at least I don't for her... she could be lying to me )... Just be mindful of your heart... your emotions and don't let them run away when you see him again.
cdt76 Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 It's not a character flaw. You loved. You were in love. You would have and did sacrifice so much. It's hard to accept that someone would throw that away. To step back and still have all the emotions and love and for it to have no where to go is not your fault. There is nothing anyone or anything anyone can do to make you better. I know. I am where you are. You live and learn and live and hope and have faith in God and pray and though it sounds terrible you will survive and hopefully very soon you will learn to trust and love again and hopefully next time it will be forever.
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