OpenGL Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 In my opinion, I have done my part to contribute to the greater good of society. I have chosen to respect my peers and elders and make something of my life. Instead of resorting to a life of crime and general disrespect for society, I went to college to become a professional on the work force and become a law abiding tax paying citizen, which these days is somewhat of a rarity. I donate to church very regularly (even though I don't actually attend church as I am not religious), have voulteneered in my community as a big brother (havent had the time to do this in quite awhile I admit), and have helped serve food during thanksgiving the past 2 years. I care about my fellow citizens and don't like people go hungry. All and all I think I'm a great citizen for my community and society at large. I have everything going in my life as far as my career and spiritual fulfillment (I feel really good that I contribute to society). The only thing I have missing in my life is personalty relationships with the opposite sex. So when I go seek this, how does society (women) reward me? By discarding me like I'm a piece of trash. Yes, with all that I am, women act like I'm some kind of defective disease to be avoided at all cost as soon as I show more interest than just being an acquaintance or friend. With all I have invested in society, I get absolutely no personal fulfillment of a VERY basic human need, companionship. I already know what you women are going to say. Life isn't fair, women don't owe me anything, you have problems, etc etc. Well guess what? I 100% agree with you, you're right. Yes, I said it, you're right. No women don't owe me a damn thing, and women have every right to treat me as trash. But guess what? I have every right to stop investing in a society that treats me like trash. I have the right to no longer act like a decent human being. I really have no incentive to do so. There will be consequences of this.
tami-chan Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Yes, I said it, you're right. No women don't owe me a damn thing, and women have every right to treat me as trash. But guess what? I have every right to stop investing in a society that treats me like trash. I have the right to no longer act like a decent human being. I really have no incentive to do so. There will be consequences of this. I don't know OGL, I don't think treating anybody like trash is a right. But you know, it IS your life, you live how you want to...but I sure do hope you will continue to live like a decent human being.
quankanne Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 There will be consequences to this. are you planning on playing for the home team or something? look, from personal experience, I understand that the best looking ones get chosen first, as do the ones with money. However, the rest of us also do well, and that's only because we've got engaging personalities. So either start widening your scope to include those women you normally wouldn't look twice at because you're so damned picky or get rid of the bad attitude, because even the not so attractive chicks will avoid someone with a crappy 'tude!
Author OpenGL Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 So either start widening your scope to include those women you normally wouldn't look twice at because you're so damned picky or get rid of the bad attitude, because even the not so attractive chicks will avoid someone with a crappy 'tude! I look at every woman who isn't obese. I am VERY forgiving of looks and am interested in women who are by society standards below average looking. Like 2's and 3's.
meerkat stew Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 I hope the consequences are that you are going to start approaching more women. How many are you approaching now? When you approach a challenge in the gym with respect to a genetically unfavored muscle, does it require more effort? or less to achieve? Same with success with women. There are people out there your age who do not have your mental equipment or the discipline to hold down a job, what would your advice be to these people if they were bemoaining their average IQs and lack of ambition if they complained about your ability to succeed in the working world compared to theirs? What if someone said "My IQ is 100, and my grades are mediocre as a result. I can't raise my IQ, so I should just quit trying to get a job." What would you say to that person, what advice would you give?
tami-chan Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 I look at every woman who isn't obese. I am VERY forgiving of looks and am interested in women who are by society standards below average looking. Like 2's and 3's. OGL, you are selling yourself short..maybe you should just forget the ratings game and go fish (for a date)!
EM47 Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 OGL, you are selling yourself short maybe the problem is just that he is short?
threebyfate Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Did you live your life for solely altruistic reasons? Is your career path and good, professional job, solely for the benefit of others, where you donate the vast majority of income earned, towards helping others? When you give, don't you get something out of it, or do you hate giving but do it anyways? Or do you give, to feel good about yourself, as well as look good in other people's eyes? So now that you've blatantly lived your life, to benefit others, you're not getting any benefit back. While this is an interesting way to twist life in general, it doesn't hold water. Your life is what you've made it and most of it, isn't altruistic in the least. If you do something for someone else, to get something in return, it's far from altruistic.
Sweetie1977 Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Good people dont brag about all the good things they do,you seem to want something out of doing good things insetad of doing it because its the real you I suggest you get help becasue you seem like you are on the verge of doing something drastic like that guy from Pittsburgh did in that gym
Author OpenGL Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 I hope the consequences are that you are going to start approaching more women. How many are you approaching now? When you approach a challenge in the gym with respect to a genetically unfavored muscle, does it require more effort? or less to achieve? Same with success with women. I used to go out and approach every weekend at the night scene for 6 months straight, very little success. I don't approach nearly as often now, during the day, and have zero success. Mode women are in fact rude if you try to start conversations with them, even if they are not seemingly busy. There are people out there your age who do not have your mental equipment or the discipline to hold down a job, what would your advice be to these people if they were bemoaining their average IQs and lack of ambition if they complained about your ability to succeed in the working world compared to theirs? What if someone said "My IQ is 100, and my grades are mediocre as a result. I can't raise my IQ, so I should just quit trying to get a job." What would you say to that person, what advice would you give? Interesting question. If someone had a low IQ and I knew they couldn't handle very technical/college level work, I would tell them they need to pursue some kind of physical labor job or maybe a job that requires peoples skills. The point being there is still a lot of good paying and stable jobs that don't require an above average IQ.
carhill Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 OP, I just wanted to stop by and offer my congratulations. I've read a bit of your story and you've indeed made a place for yourself in society's future, whether you know it or not. Your frustration and ambivalence are common to those in their 20's. For myself, such persisted into my 30's, so I understand your perspective well, save for the additional burden of your ethnicity in our society. What to do next? IMO, take what you've learned and help other young men coming up. Be a guide; a mentor. Show them a successful path. Continue to build upon the foundations you have laid. You will find, someday, that this focus you currently have will become markedly different, both in scope and importance. I won't say it's much ado about nothing, but far less a life-determining experience than what you currently (and I did as well) believe. TBF's right. Do what you do because it is who you are. It's not a test where, when passing, the teacher kisses you. You pass, you ace, you blow it out of the water because it's meaningful for you in life. The reward is not in a woman, but rather within you. That's a glimpse of what you have to look forward to. Best wishes and keep up the good work
meerkat stew Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 If someone had a low IQ and I knew they couldn't handle very technical/college level work, I would tell them they need to pursue some kind of physical labor job or maybe a job that requires peoples skills. The point being there is still a lot of good paying and stable jobs that don't require an above average IQ. And you would likely tell them they may have to look harder to get one of those jobs. You have the advantage of good mind and social skills necessary to advance in your career, yet you feel you are disadvantaged with women. Follow your own advice, you sure wouldn't tell them to sit home bitter on the couch, right? Work harder on your weaknesses and over time they become strengths. I am living proof, used to be awful with women. Did lots of griping about it, then finally started putting in real effort. It's just like the gym or any other skill. And the good thing is that once you have it, it never goes away. Stay out of bars entirely. Meet more people of all stripes out and about. Every person you meet knows a woman who is in your predicament. Used to be the community helped get men and women together. These days it seems like it's go to bars or nothing, but it's not if you take the time to make your own community. I bet there are 20 people you know whom you could call right now and say "I need a date for a function, know any single, presentable women?" At least five of them will give you a prospect.
Johnny M Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 All and all I think I'm a great citizen for my community and society at large. I have everything going in my life as far as my career and spiritual fulfillment (I feel really good that I contribute to society). The only thing I have missing in my life is personalty relationships with the opposite sex. So when I go seek this, how does society (women) reward me? But guess what? I have every right to stop investing in a society that treats me like trash. I have the right to no longer act like a decent human being. I really have no incentive to do so. Your statements are contradictory. First you say that contributing to society and helping people makes you feel good and then you turn around and say that you have no incentive to continue contributing to society. So which one is it? If helping people truly makes you feel good, that's all the incentive you need. And if you thought that donating money to your church and feeding the homeless would make women like you more, you are a fool. It doesn't work that way.
paddington bear Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 What are the consequences going to be? I hope you're not thinking of anything violent. Headlines: 'Community-spirited man kills 300 women using a semi-automatic machine gun while shouting 'there will be consequences!'' (seriously. don't do anything stupid) Have you some honest friends? Do you even have any female friends? I know you are hating all women right now because you are tired and frustrated but it might be worth asking someone what they think your problem is - but someone who will answer honestly, but kindly, you don't need any more dents to your ego, someone who won't use the opportunity to bash you even further down. I have this friend, tall, very good-looking, educated, intelligent...but with all that going for him, he is so needy, so needy and desperate for sex that he has freaked out me and every other woman I've seen him approach because he just goes over the top and gets all arrogant and loud and cocky. I've wanted to say that he should tone it down a bit, that he was exuding 'I just want to screw you and then toss you aside' vibes, combined with 'I'm so desperate I'd take anyone, you, that girl over there, her' - so that no woman felt special. Anyway, how do you tell a guy that, how do you tell a friend that without basically insulting them to their face? So I didn't, because I didn't want to hurt his feelings. Until he said 'maybe it's me, maybe I should tone things down a bit' and I agreed and suggested that that might be part of the problem. He's an amazing guy, but who just doesn't do himself any favours when he approaches women and it takes a long time to see the real him, but no woman gets the chance to see the real him because he scares them off at the beginning. I'm not saying you have the same issues, but there could be something obvious about how you speak to women, ask them out or whatever that you are blind to, but others have noticed in your approach to women, something that could simply be altered, but you need an outside honest evaluation of that one and if you get it try not to take it too personally, it might be a valuable piece of knowledge. I had one female friend of mine snap at me one night years ago 'no wonder you've no man all you do is complain about men, you assume they're all bastards, you are sooo negative'. Felt like she'd slapped me. However, she was right. I shut up, changed my thinking, which wasn't true (I was just bitter at being rejected over and over again, it was all I knew). Things got better as soon as I stopped assuming that I would be rejected and that 'all' men were like that. Maybe this is too airy fairy for you, but according to the law of attraction if you are focusing always on not having women, all you will ever get is 'not having' women, because it's an internal monologue going on over and over in your head (you are brainwashing yourself), so your brain basically makes those thoughts happen. Change the thoughts and catch all the repeated negative thoughts before you even think them and replace them with something else, and you might just manifest what you want. How about 'I'm a nice guy and the perfect girl is out there somewhere for me, I've just got to find her' and see every knock-back as one more undesirable off your list, bringing you closer to the one who will say 'yes, I'd love to see you again'.
Author OpenGL Posted January 26, 2010 Author Posted January 26, 2010 And you would likely tell them they may have to look harder to get one of those jobs. You have the advantage of good mind and social skills necessary to advance in your career, yet you feel you are disadvantaged with women. Follow your own advice, you sure wouldn't tell them to sit home bitter on the couch, right? Work harder on your weaknesses and over time they become strengths. I am living proof, used to be awful with women. Did lots of griping about it, then finally started putting in real effort. It's just like the gym or any other skill. And the good thing is that once you have it, it never goes away. I suppose you have a point, but I'd argue that the job market is a lot more fluid than the dating market. If you're really trying to pursue a job, there is a lot you can do to guarantee a job. You can go to automotive school and become a mechanic and make very good money, for example. There is so much you can do in this country with government assistance you will have to TRY to be perpetually jobless. In the dating market, you can be completely locked out for years, no matter what you do. It is VERY easy to be dateless for years. Stay out of bars entirely. This is the biggest disagreement I have with conventional wisdom. Everybody claims that bars and clubs are the worst places to pick up women, but these are the same time of women who walk around all day with a earphones on and think everybody that stares at them for more than 1/2 a second is a creep. Nightlife is where I have by far the most success with women, although that well has dried up recently. I swear, over the course of a year, I have found women have become harder and harder to pick up. I tried new venues, different cities, the nightlife scene is becoming cutthroat everywhere these days. Meet more people of all stripes out and about. Every person you meet knows a woman who is in your predicament. Used to be the community helped get men and women together. These days it seems like it's go to bars or nothing, but it's not if you take the time to make your own community. I bet there are 20 people you know whom you could call right now and say "I need a date for a function, know any single, presentable women?" At least five of them will give you a prospect. I have no problem making acquaintances and "friends", I used the quotes because these are only women I know by association from friends or hobby, not women I hang out with on a 1:1 basis. The problem is when I show the slight amount of interest, they are immediately turned off at the prospect.
hoping2heal Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 In my opinion, I have done my part to contribute to the greater good of society. I have chosen to respect my peers and elders and make something of my life. Instead of resorting to a life of crime and general disrespect for society, I went to college to become a professional on the work force and become a law abiding tax paying citizen, which these days is somewhat of a rarity. I donate to church very regularly (even though I don't actually attend church as I am not religious), have voulteneered in my community as a big brother (havent had the time to do this in quite awhile I admit), and have helped serve food during thanksgiving the past 2 years. I care about my fellow citizens and don't like people go hungry. All and all I think I'm a great citizen for my community and society at large. I have everything going in my life as far as my career and spiritual fulfillment (I feel really good that I contribute to society). The only thing I have missing in my life is personalty relationships with the opposite sex. So when I go seek this, how does society (women) reward me? By discarding me like I'm a piece of trash. Yes, with all that I am, women act like I'm some kind of defective disease to be avoided at all cost as soon as I show more interest than just being an acquaintance or friend. With all I have invested in society, I get absolutely no personal fulfillment of a VERY basic human need, companionship. I already know what you women are going to say. Life isn't fair, women don't owe me anything, you have problems, etc etc. Well guess what? I 100% agree with you, you're right. Yes, I said it, you're right. No women don't owe me a damn thing, and women have every right to treat me as trash. But guess what? I have every right to stop investing in a society that treats me like trash. I have the right to no longer act like a decent human being. I really have no incentive to do so. There will be consequences of this. Op, we have already been through this. Are you willfully looking the other way or what? You are extremely negative that is the issue. It's not that anyone discards you it's that no one notices your or WANTS too because you are so blatantly negative it is a turn off to those around you. That's your issue. You just litterally refuse to see this.
Author OpenGL Posted January 26, 2010 Author Posted January 26, 2010 Op, we have already been through this. Are you willfully looking the other way or what? You are extremely negative that is the issue. It's not that anyone discards you it's that no one notices your or WANTS too because you are so blatantly negative it is a turn off to those around you. That's your issue. You just litterally refuse to see this. Why wasn't I getting women before the recent onslaught of negative attitude?
hoping2heal Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 Why wasn't I getting women before the recent onslaught of negative attitude? Recent? HA, I am not even talking about your posts on LS nor did I think you just "suddenly" turned negative. I would say you have been this way for awhile..but am I wrong? You used to be happy-go-lucky and enjoyed life and people until a flip just switched in your head one day and now you are like this..is that right?
threebyfate Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 Getting women isn't like getting a puppy, where if you feed it Kibbles and Bits, it will love you for life...
theBrokenMuse Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 There will be consequences of this. And what do you mean by this?
threebyfate Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 Cats actually need you to love them back and treat them well!
carhill Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 True that and watch out for the claws while sleeping if they're not feeling appreciated:D
Woggle Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 Just do well for people that appreciate it and tell the rest to screw themselves.
You'reasian Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 In my opinion, I have done my part to contribute to the greater good of society. I have chosen to respect my peers and elders and make something of my life. Instead of resorting to a life of crime and general disrespect for society, I went to college to become a professional on the work force and become a law abiding tax paying citizen, which these days is somewhat of a rarity. I donate to church very regularly (even though I don't actually attend church as I am not religious), have voulteneered in my community as a big brother (havent had the time to do this in quite awhile I admit), and have helped serve food during thanksgiving the past 2 years. I care about my fellow citizens and don't like people go hungry. All and all I think I'm a great citizen for my community and society at large. I have everything going in my life as far as my career and spiritual fulfillment (I feel really good that I contribute to society). The only thing I have missing in my life is personalty relationships with the opposite sex. So when I go seek this, how does society (women) reward me? By discarding me like I'm a piece of trash. Yes, with all that I am, women act like I'm some kind of defective disease to be avoided at all cost as soon as I show more interest than just being an acquaintance or friend. With all I have invested in society, I get absolutely no personal fulfillment of a VERY basic human need, companionship. I already know what you women are going to say. Life isn't fair, women don't owe me anything, you have problems, etc etc. Well guess what? I 100% agree with you, you're right. Yes, I said it, you're right. No women don't owe me a damn thing, and women have every right to treat me as trash. But guess what? I have every right to stop investing in a society that treats me like trash. I have the right to no longer act like a decent human being. I really have no incentive to do so. There will be consequences of this. The man you have decided to become is for you not for any woman. Your motivations for becoming the man you have become should have absolutely nothing to do with dating, relationships, etc. Allowing your self image to be tied in the way women treat you is counterproductive to the things you are doing to make you the man that you are. Let it go. Be the man you want to be.
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