MySweetie'sGone Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Wtf...Sooo...I keep creating new threads but really-- Post-break up have you ever taken that forbidden peek at your exes page and seen a status that suggests he/she (THE DUMPER) is "suffering" post-break up or thinking of you-but they NEVER contact you directly...they just post it? What is that about? Really--THEY want to use the sympathy card? If you have experienced this anomaly, post here. What's the dumbest message (SH*T, lol) you ever saw on FB or MySpace or received via email but your ex STILL didn't want to get together?
MinTea Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 I'm sure the dumpers can feel the pain too, but yes I've come across this same scenario. My ex is blocked from my facebook... but one day I wanted to look up something on the home computer and my mother had her facebook page still up. After I finished what I needed to do in a separate window, I was curious to see which friends of my mother were online so I clicked on the facebook chat thing... I saw my ex's name and he was set as idle. I had completely forgotten that he had friended my mom way back when and curiosity got the best of me and I clicked to view his profile. I scrolled back to the time of our break up, and the weeks following were full of emotional status updates. Some of them were pretty bogus, such as "i'm the only one left to pick up the pieces" (uhm.. he left me... I'm pretty sure it's the other way around.. but perhaps he said this because I took measures to block him and gradually break off contact a month after our breakup. I just couldn't stand all the "I love you's but just want to be friends" stuff.) But overall, they seemed pretty genuine. I felt so terrible after reading it all. This was a few weeks ago... and I've been upside down all over again ever since. He went through so much pain, just like I have, yet I am so terrible that he still sticks to his decision? Bah.. my mistake for looking. I suggest you block or unfriend him to avoid running into this. Good luck.
Author MySweetie'sGone Posted January 26, 2010 Author Posted January 26, 2010 ...Is he never coming back? All his statuses are so sad...but they're not about me...they seem to be about life in general. ie. His mind is on another track doesn't know where it's leading him but his knowledge is becoming a burden. ie. He's trying to make progress but can't get his footing right. I wish they were about me. I wish he were thinking about me. I wish I could comfort him but that's notmy right anymore. This is so horrible. THis wasn't supposed to happen to us...how did this happen to us? ...I have a headache.
Ilovecake Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 Yes. First it was myspace. He would change his moods to confused, hurt, coping, happy, unhappy...etc. I never found it weird though because that’s how he always communicated with me. Even when we were living together he would never come straight out and say what he felt it was always covert messages either through song lyrics or inside jokes on a forum we both posted on or via myspace. After the breakup he updated his facebook status often. Of course I was the only one who got what he was trying to say so nobody believed me when I said it was meant for me to read.
almostpassedit Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 (edited) after about 9 months of me having my ex blocked on facebook, the moment i unblocked her, within about 24 hours, she had changed her relationship status to "in a relationship" odd considering she was cheating on for 6 months prior to me finding out recently though, about 2 or 3 months ago she went from "in a relationship" to single and during this time i had defriended her but i could still see her wall because she was in my college network. after i changed my settings to block her from seeing my wall, she changed her settings to block me from seeing her wall. this occurred within 48 hours. after i blocked my settings so you can't see work info, she blocked her settings. after i changed my settings so she could see my wall, she changed her settings so i could see her wall. i then just perm blocked her, odd feels like were communicating and she was telling me i could contact her again, even odder, this is 21 months NC. don't know what it means, its just odd in my book. probably nothing. more than likely nothing. as far as i'm concerned, one should not look at their ex's profile... It will just make you think about the relationship and have your mind wondering. just my two cents Edited January 27, 2010 by almostpassedit
Satisfaction Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 after about 9 months of me having my ex blocked on facebook, the moment i unblocked her, within about 24 hours, she had changed her relationship status to "in a relationship" recently though, about 2 or 3 months ago she went from "in a relationship" to single and during this time i had defriended her after i changed my settings to block her from seeing my wall, she changed her settings to block me from seeing her wall. this occurred within 48 hours. after i blocked my settings so you can't see work info, she blocked her settings. after i changed my settings so she could see my wall, she changed her settings so i could see her wall. i then just perm blocked her, odd feels like were communicating and she was telling me i could contact her again, even odder, this is 21 months NC. I'm sorry not sure if this constitutes thread jacking or not but I just want to hold up my hand and say i do this. I do it because I hate no contact. My view is you are alive, you should talk it through with me. No one knows our situation better than us so we should talk it through as much as possible. Its true that not everyone thinks the same or likes talking in this way but that could be the reason. One girl who I was friends with started acting up so i tried to leave it for a bit and then talk it out and she wasn't having any of it. I tried to get on with it and make new friends. I guess she was angry that I didn't crumble and beg for her company again. Anyway she saw the pictures of me out and defriended and blocked me. But somehow magically she unblocked me the day I did a random check online for her. I blocked her instantly though cos i was so mad that she'd made it impossible for me to contact her. maybe your ex is thinking in the same way?
Catseye8 Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 If you have experienced this anomaly, post here. What's the dumbest message (SH*T, lol) you ever saw on FB or MySpace or received via email but your ex STILL didn't want to get together? Facebook status: "[Ex] thinks he may have made the biggest mistake of his life," and several follow-up statuses clearly directed at me and mentining our last conversation. This was 3 months or so post breakup - if he'd pulled that earlier I'm sure I'd have been on his doorstep looking hopeful in less time than it takes to say "big mistake", but by 3 months, I just thought "Facebook? Are you KIDDING me?"
annxxdisaster Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 Well, I keep my facebook statuses pretty lame. They're usually random song lyrics or some short little comment, usually void of anything that's emotional or pertains to my relationships--I personally don't think that's the medium I'd want to use to get a message across to anyone. BUT, I did get a text from my ex that said he couldn't hang out or see me while I was home over winter break because he still has feelings for me and he knew if he saw me he'd try to rekindle a relationship, and that wasn't fair to either of us because he didn't want a relationship at the moment.
Author MySweetie'sGone Posted February 2, 2010 Author Posted February 2, 2010 Well, I keep my facebook statuses pretty lame. They're usually random song lyrics or some short little comment, usually void of anything that's emotional or pertains to my relationships--I personally don't think that's the medium I'd want to use to get a message across to anyone. BUT, I did get a text from my ex that said he couldn't hang out or see me while I was home over winter break because he still has feelings for me and he knew if he saw me he'd try to rekindle a relationship, and that wasn't fair to either of us because he didn't want a relationship at the moment. don't you just LOVE how that statement makes absolutely no sense?? lol
Author MySweetie'sGone Posted February 2, 2010 Author Posted February 2, 2010 Facebook status: "[Ex] thinks he may have made the biggest mistake of his life," and several follow-up statuses clearly directed at me and mentining our last conversation. This was 3 months or so post breakup - if he'd pulled that earlier I'm sure I'd have been on his doorstep looking hopeful in less time than it takes to say "big mistake", but by 3 months, I just thought "Facebook? Are you KIDDING me?" More than likely he was hoping you'd see it and reach out to him...essentially feeding his ego without him having to do the work )and reach out to you, thus risking being rejected himself. Your response was optimal...sounds like you're in a good place with your healing. Have yo been no contact?
annxxdisaster Posted February 2, 2010 Posted February 2, 2010 don't you just LOVE how that statement makes absolutely no sense?? lol Oh you have no idea. The only thing I could pretty much think was, 'well why the **** are we even having this conversation?' True or not, he's just not my guy anymore thank God. Someone else can take care of this mess.
Catseye8 Posted February 2, 2010 Posted February 2, 2010 More than likely he was hoping you'd see it and reach out to him...essentially feeding his ego without him having to do the work )and reach out to you' date=' thus risking being rejected himself. Your response was optimal...sounds like you're in a good place with your healing. Have yo been no contact?[/quote'] This was an ex of several years ago (not the one that brought me to LS) - and yes, I think that's exactly what he was doing! He did resurface later and suggest trying again, but by that point I was not remotely interested.
Toki Posted February 2, 2010 Posted February 2, 2010 The worst day of my life, was the day I realized I had to break up with my ex. I was pretty broken up about it for awhile too, but the thing is, is I never blamed her, and I didn't expect much sympathy for my actions.
Author MySweetie'sGone Posted February 2, 2010 Author Posted February 2, 2010 The worst day of my life, was the day I realized I had to break up with my ex. I was pretty broken up about it for awhile too, but the thing is, is I never blamed her, and I didn't expect much sympathy for my actions. What's your sitch?
Author MySweetie'sGone Posted February 2, 2010 Author Posted February 2, 2010 Oh you have no idea. The only thing I could pretty much think was, 'well why the **** are we even having this conversation?' . I understand completely...mine had the nerve to post and say something similar to my face. I looked at him point blank and said "Well then this breakup is absolutely ridiculous." He nodded then shrugged...??
annxxdisaster Posted February 2, 2010 Posted February 2, 2010 I understand completely...mine had the nerve to post and say something similar to my face. I looked at him point blank and said "Well then this breakup is absolutely ridiculous." He nodded then shrugged...?? He never had to look me in the face, which is something I would have loved to have him do. Mostly because i know he couldn't handle it. I bet it was hard not to punch him in the face, huh?
Author MySweetie'sGone Posted February 3, 2010 Author Posted February 3, 2010 He never had to look me in the face, which is something I would have loved to have him do. Mostly because i know he couldn't handle it. I bet it was hard not to punch him in the face, huh? Lol....actually...I slapped him...several times. It started off playfully...then I meant it. He let me hit him and then just hugged me.
bananaboat11 Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 I take the cake. I got dumped over facebook. FML.
annxxdisaster Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 My ex would have been fine doing it over text message or AIM. I had to tell him that if he's going to do it...he's calling me. But we do live 3 hours apart. :\ My mom had a really dysfunctional relationship and during a fight her ex ran out of the house, I'm pretty sure she called the cops, and she never heard from him again.
Author MySweetie'sGone Posted February 3, 2010 Author Posted February 3, 2010 I take the cake. I got dumped over facebook. FML. Aww...Rob. you're having a downtime too. Do you need to talk?
Author MySweetie'sGone Posted February 3, 2010 Author Posted February 3, 2010 My ex would have been fine doing it over text message or AIM. I had to tell him that if he's going to do it...he's calling me. But we do live 3 hours apart. :\ My mom had a really dysfunctional relationship and during a fight her ex ran out of the house, I'm pretty sure she called the cops, and she never heard from him again. We live 3 hours apart too, while he's in school. I had to wait an entire month for him to come home and face me. & when we got together it was if we'd never been apart...but he still didn't want to rekindle our relationship..said not enough time had passed...(hopefully that's a good sign that he thinksm somewhere deep down, that if we both take time to work on our issues we can get back together). As for your mom's situation...kudos to her for callinf the cops! It's amazing though to me how so many couples get into this situation and keep returning to each other no matter how dsyfunctional the relationship or how many times the police are called! Back to inane FB statuses...Can't remember whether I said this or not...but my most recent status alluded to my success and how no one can tell me I won't be successful. He commented on it. "TELL EM" he said. I wish there'd been a "baby" at the end. Le *sigh*. lol.
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