chloe1408 Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 if your ex leaves you for someone out of the blue, they didnt cheat or anything but they started dating two days after the two of you split is this a rebound?> & what are your takes on rebounds?
cg27 Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 I would think it is too soon for a rebound. I would say they wanted this, and did the breaking up for a change in routine. Or they already had a relationship planned, and did the breaking up. Or it could be a quick hook up.
gaudi Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 I think this really has to depend on how long they had been with you. Let's say you guys had been dating for a maximum of ohhh, 2 weeks. He's goes and dates someone else a couple of days later, that's no rebound. Had you been dating each other for 2 years, then yes, a couple of days later would be a definite rebound.
Author chloe1408 Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 I would think it is too soon for a rebound. I would say they wanted this, and did the breaking up for a change in routine. Or they already had a relationship planned, and did the breaking up. Or it could be a quick hook up. well say it was a change of routine, what are you takes on this lasting?
cg27 Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 How long have you been dating for? If it was a few weeks - it might be hard, but not the biggest of worries. If it was long term - I can see this ripping your heart out. I personally don't think it will last. Unless there was prior history to the new relationship.
Author chloe1408 Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 How long have you been dating for? If it was a few weeks - it might be hard, but not the biggest of worries. If it was long term - I can see this ripping your heart out. I personally don't think it will last. Unless there was prior history to the new relationship. we'd been together for a year and a half
cg27 Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 I would say there was prior knowledge of relationship happening I don't care what anyone says after 1 1/2 years together it takes time to get over someone. Give them time to think about it. Right now their focus is on someone different. Wait until the first problem starts in this new relationship. Then the focus will be on you. You will be in the drivers seat then, just remember to be fair. Both of you a human's and make mistakes.
Author chloe1408 Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 I would say there was prior knowledge of relationship happening I don't care what anyone says after 1 1/2 years together it takes time to get over someone. Give them time to think about it. Right now their focus is on someone different. Wait until the first problem starts in this new relationship. Then the focus will be on you. You will be in the drivers seat then, just remember to be fair. Both of you a human's and make mistakes. i know they'd been talking for a week at most but hadnt met till after we'd broke up
Author chloe1408 Posted February 14, 2010 Author Posted February 14, 2010 what are your takes on this new relationship lasting then? its been 2 months, does this mean that she isnt a rebound. ive read on here that it usually takes up til about 4 months to realise your true feelings for someone and anything after 4 months isnt a rebound.
sudden Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 Exact same thing happened to me. I was dating her for a year and half. She broke up with me and exactly 2 days later, she starts dating the new guy. Its just been over two months now. I have no idea how its going, but I hope it was/is a rebound............... I do know that she was planning a breakup though. I think she had been wanting to get with the new guy for a few weeks at least. Tell you what. Im not putting myself through this again! Im going with my gut instinct from now on. Its never been wrong.
aimchase Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 Some people have a need to be with someone. My wife was always like this in previous relationships, and sure enough after we split it was only about two months before she srartedseeingsome guy she met off the internet. She still sees him at weekends as he lives a bit of a distance away. She swears blind its a platonic friendship, but I don't believe her. What does give me comfort though is that I can openly see the mess she is - whilst seeing this guy she has also flirted with the idea of us reconciling (and regrettably now, i've slept with her a few times in the last couple of months), and she's also currently frequenting dating sites and dishing herself out like some 'lady of the night'. I decided last week that I was tired of the bs - I wanted her back as we have two adorable young children and I felt it was worth trying to make things work for the sake of keeping a family. Where I see her now though, she's all over the place and makes up one lie after another to cover her tracks. So back onto your question - to me it's just a sign of someoe who is very insecure and can't face things by themselves. DO NOT do what I did for months. I was hanging around, letting her know I was always there fore her and the kids etc. I realise now she's treated me like a fkin doormat. Leave them to do what they want, and move on with your own life. God, I wish I could turn back the clock and do what I know now. Believe in yourself and put yourself first.
sad_dude Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 Hi Chloe, Firstly, i'm really sorry to hear about your situation - breakups are never nice and I hope you are coping well. When my ex and I broke up about a year (it was not mutual .. she wanted it) i took the approach of no contact, getting on with things etc... and yes i think it was 4-5 months before she told me she still loved me and wanted to get back together. I unlike most people refused to get back together and since then I periodically get asked if I would like to get back together. Now I'm not saying he will come back in 4 months or not but I urge you to actually think why you want to be with him again? if it's just because of comfort and because you it would be easy, I urge you to think twice. As one of the other posters above mentioned, it's easy to get stuck in a cycle of going back and forth. Remember there is no such thing as failure ... just opportunities to learn!
unsaved Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 Chloe, I know you are hurting so much. You have to stay strong and move on with your life. Unfortunately, I have done this twice where I have left longer-term relationships to get with other people. It happened when I was in my early twenties and I am NOT proud that I did this and I realize only now how immature I was in relationships back them. However, sometimes people just take a chance on a new relationship, no matter HOW much they loved that other person in the current one. Sometimes, it takes another person to make us realize we aren't happy in our current relationship. That is absolutely SH*TTY, I know. But some people just do it that way. Also, each time I left my relationship for someone else, I didn't end up going back. In fact, one of the guys I left my relationship for CLEARLY did not work out, but I still stood by my decision that that old person was not right for me if my mind wandered to someone else. Make sense? And that is something I want you to think about too. This person left you. They have desires to be with someone else. Our minds usually wander when the relationship is not going so well. Were things not going so well between you two? Were there clearly problems that you two weren't addressing? Usually this is the case. We just don't want to think about that. Also, if this person does come back, do you want to be with someone who left you for someone else so quickly and easily? I guarantee you they can easily do it again if the opportunity arises. Again, go NC. Move on with your life. Waiting around for someone like this will ONLY bring you heartache. I know you are hurting. We are all hurting here. Post anytime you need to talk and we'll be here to support you. Good luck to you.
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