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How to avoid comparing people to your ex?


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Posted

So not 100% sure if this is the right section to post it in but couldn't really find any better one.

 

Anyway, when you move on from your ex and start seeing other people, how do you not compare them to your ex? Any tips/advice or is this just inevitable?

 

I feel like I'm starting to move on, at least a bit, and while I haven't started seeing other people I just can't see how I can avoid comparing them to my ex. It was easy before as for some reason every girl I've been with has been increasingly better than the one before but I hardly expect this trend to continue. Even from a strictly shallow perspective, my ex was absolutely gorgeous, way out of my league, and the sex was great. I feel like I won't be able to settle with anyone less attractive or that the sex won't be as good, and that's speaking strictly from the shallow perspective, not going to go into how smart she was, how being around her made me feel, etc.

 

Thoughts? Maybe I'm just an pessimistic idiot.

Posted

Feeling the same way here. Every guy I meet, even the one I'm currently dating, has pretty much failed to match what I feel I had before.

 

I think that if you're still comparing people to your ex is simply because you're not truly over them yet. The day you meet someone and like them for who they are without thinking of your ex anymore is probably the day you're ready to have a new relationship without risking a rebound.

 

Arabella

Posted

I know the feeling as well. My new years resolution was to stop looking for "her" in other women. Still working on keeping it though.

Posted

I feel exactly the same. I can't imagine - on a physical level - being as excited or compatible with any other girl. The upshot is that on an emotional/intellectual level, about 95% of the female population would have more to offer!

 

Someday, we won't feel the same, I'm sure. Just wish I could fast forward to that day and forget how good certain aspects were.

 

Eisenhower

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Posted

Glad to know I'm not the only one... doesn't make it any more encouraging though haha.

Posted

For me, it's time...as time passes, you begin to lose a sense of who your ex was...I don't want to go as far as to say I've forgotten (which I don't think I ever will), but I stop seeing her, hearing her, and thinking about her...so it makes it a little easier to see new women for what they are, and not compare them to the ex...

 

But then again, I haven't been looking...at all...

  • Author
Posted
For me, it's time...as time passes, you begin to lose a sense of who your ex was...I don't want to go as far as to say I've forgotten (which I don't think I ever will), but I stop seeing her, hearing her, and thinking about her...so it makes it a little easier to see new women for what they are, and not compare them to the ex...

 

But then again, I haven't been looking...at all...

 

Hard to stop seeing her, hearing her, thinking about her when she lives like 30 steps away from me. Haha.

Posted
Hard to stop seeing her, hearing her, thinking about her when she lives like 30 steps away from me. Haha.

 

 

Hmmm...I see...well that certainly changes things...

 

Good luck...? :o

  • Author
Posted
Hmmm...I see...well that certainly changes things...

 

Good luck...? :o

 

Thanks buddy :)

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