broncosfrk83 Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 I just sent a message to my ex and blocked her on facebook and it was by far the hardest thing ive ever had to do. I hope it was the right thing to do. Everyday i just sat her looking at her page and waiting for her to get on to see if she would talk to me so i hope this doesnt back fire. I want her back but i dont think she will come back. I hope me doing what i did doesnt push her away further.
gaudi Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 I hope me doing what i did doesnt push her away further. OK what do you hope it achieves then ??
Author broncosfrk83 Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 I hope it makes me not want her anymore and i move on. Cause now im a babbling mess, i havent cried like this since the actual break up. Just feel so rejected and that no one will be able to give me what we had...
gaudi Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 OK mate. I hear that, same situation here. I'm probably a little further ahead in the healing process (but not much). I understand what you said about the not wanting to want her anymore, and in order to do that, you don't have to think about pushing her away, but instead you need to concentrate on pulling yourself away. Either way it amounts to distance between the 2 of you. This is what's required. I know it hurts my friend, I understand the pain, or I am, at least familiar with it. But you have taken the first steps into the healing. You know what you have to do, and you have started. The choice you have made about blocking her is a big step. Now just keep on putting one foot in front of the other, before you know it you will be where you need to be.
Author broncosfrk83 Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 Thanks a lot. This site has helped me through so much. She was the first love and longest relationship ever and we fell so hard for each other. Its just so hard to believe that the happiness i felt then will ever be matched or surpassed.
sedgwick Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 I hope it was the right thing to do. Everyday i just sat her looking at her page and waiting for her to get on to see if she would talk to me THIS is what will push her further away. Don't behave in a pathetic way -- go on with your life. NO CONTACT!!!!!!!!!!!!
Author broncosfrk83 Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 I have had no contact besides the message today telling her that i was blocking her to heal and move on. I would never contact her. She would ask me how i was doing every few days and have small talk but i kept in really short and told her i was busy and had to go.
gaudi Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Well good for you. Keep up your NC. I cracked after 40-odd days (yesterday). For what it's worth, I wish I hadn't. Don't make the same mistake !!!
Author broncosfrk83 Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 What happened? What made you say anything? And what did they say?
gaudi Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Dunno mate I was just bored, I sent her a picture of when we went on holiday. She text me back laughing about it (was a silly daft holiday picture). Then I texted her back again................and then she....................didn't reply.............NOTHING !!
Author broncosfrk83 Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 Ouch bro. Sry to hear that. Ive done that before with this ex. Talking then out of no where she doesnt reply, it ****ing hurts
EricaH329 Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Thanks a lot. This site has helped me through so much. She was the first love and longest relationship ever and we fell so hard for each other. Its just so hard to believe that the happiness i felt then will ever be matched or surpassed. Of course it feels like that now. You are going through a painful time. I bet you can't even imagine being happy again by yourself, can you? But it will happen. And I can gaurantee you that the next time will be better. But that isn't what you should even be worried about right now. What you should be worried about now is getting back some of the self respect you've lost during the break up. Getting back yourself. NC is definitely the first step towards doing that! I know you are still having doubts that NC is the best thing, but it is. All the way around. If she wants you back... this will help her miss you. If she doesn't want you back... then there's the answer you've been waiting for. Either way, I wouldn't focus on her right now. I wouldn't even allow her to consume your thoughts. You need to focus on the most important person in your life right now, yourself. Time to rebuild everything within you that has been broken. I know this is tough, but if you remain strong I think you'll surprise yourself. We are all a lot stronger than we think we are... and this is the ultimate test. Good luck!
sunrae Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 broncosfrk, You did the right things.. It was the hard thing to do, but the right thing.... I think most of us dumpee's have broken NC, reached out to an ex and it resulted in a set back and having to start the healing process over again. Give yourself a big pat on the back.. You just took a giant step forward.
Author broncosfrk83 Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 Now she is texting me and emailing because she is upset i blocked her. What in the hell does she expect? She dumps me and now shes mad?
sunrae Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 DONT reply.. If she's upset then all that will do it start a fight or arguement and that will get you nowhere in the healing process.. Be selfish and think of yourself... You did the right thing today, dont second guess yourself.
Author broncosfrk83 Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 (edited) I wanna reply so badly it sucks. She said me being short with her is more like blowing her off and i want so badly to tell her, what do u expect? u broke up with me? She said that the way she took me being short with her is that "im over us and moving on myself". What does she expect when she breaks my heart? I mean damnit i want her back and im defiently not over her but is it best to act like i am or act like i still have feelings for her? She even actually said that instead of me giving her "space" i was more like blowing her off. What does she expect? Edited January 26, 2010 by broncosfrk83
crazy4you Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 It may be the hardest thing for you to do (believe me I know) but in the end it'll end up helping you more than anything. This way you won't constantly be in lingo and focusing all your energy on a lost cause that will just bring you more heartache. You've come this far, it's time to let go of her completely and just move on.
sunrae Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 I wanna reply so badly it sucks. She said me being short with her is more like blowing her off and i want so badly to tell her, what do u expect? u broke up with me? She said that the way she took me being short with her is that "im over us and moving on myself". What does she expect when she breaks my heart? I mean damnit i want her back and im defiently not over her but is it best to act like i am or act like i still have feelings for her? She even actually said that instead of me giving her "space" i was more like blowing her off. What does she expect? Sounds like she was upset that you are actually taking a little control back. Sometimes people say things to get a reaction out of other people and it sounds like that is what she's doing... She feels like she is loosing a little control because you are starting to take some of it back, and she's now angry, saying hurtful things. Again you did the right thing.
Author broncosfrk83 Posted January 26, 2010 Author Posted January 26, 2010 (edited) Gah guys i could use some helpful words today. Miss her a lot and starting to regret blocking her on facebook, especially since it made her mad. Dont really want to do that if i want her back, i miss my best friend. If only she loved me still... PS. Last nigth i was feeling great and was doing fine. I felt that this was her loss and ill be fine. Then i go to bed and i have a dream about her coming back to me....WHY! I was doing so well and now i feel like im the one thats lost. Its like she controls my dreams and is trying to toy with me. Edited January 26, 2010 by broncosfrk83
Author broncosfrk83 Posted January 27, 2010 Author Posted January 27, 2010 Hey guys please stop me...im sitting here wanting to send her a message saying "sry for not talking to u through all of this but i cant be ur friend now. Im beginning to realize a lot of things in my life and im changing a lot of mistakes ive made. With u wanting to be only friends than i must try to avoid contact so i continue to grow and heal from all of this. I still have deep feelings for u and care about u but as long as im not the person u want then we cannot be in each others lives. I know if its meant to be then you will know how to get ahold of me and if not then life will go on. Please give me some strength guys.
EricaH329 Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 Hey guys please stop me...im sitting here wanting to send her a message saying "sry for not talking to u through all of this but i cant be ur friend now. Im beginning to realize a lot of things in my life and im changing a lot of mistakes ive made. With u wanting to be only friends than i must try to avoid contact so i continue to grow and heal from all of this. I still have deep feelings for u and care about u but as long as im not the person u want then we cannot be in each others lives. I know if its meant to be then you will know how to get ahold of me and if not then life will go on. Please give me some strength guys. Strength has to come from within yourself. All we can do is try to steer you in the right direction, and give you advice. I don't see anything wrong with sending her that message. BUT... it has to be the last message you send her, regardless of what she writes back. You are letting her know that you aren't going to sit around and deal with the breadcrumbs she is feeding you anymore. After you take this step of going NC, you'll find that it's hard at first. But over time, you will gain so much strength and self-discipline that you won't even think twice about it.
Author broncosfrk83 Posted January 27, 2010 Author Posted January 27, 2010 Thats the thing is ive been in NC with some LC (always initiated by her). So is it worth breaking to finally let her kno for good that im moving on and working on me to grow and be a better person?
EricaH329 Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 Thats the thing is ive been in NC with some LC (always initiated by her). So is it worth breaking to finally let her kno for good that im moving on and working on me to grow and be a better person? She will continue to try and get ahold of you if you do not tell her. You need to make it known that you don't want her contacting you anymore.
Author broncosfrk83 Posted January 27, 2010 Author Posted January 27, 2010 Thanks a whole bunch Erica. I sent what i wanted to say and i truly feel better with those words off of my chest, she really is a good persona and would be an awesome friend to keep around, but i just dont think i will ever lose my feelings for her totally, so yeah it sucks to lose a best friend. But life is what it is. Like i say sometimes. Life's tough, get a helmet.
EricaH329 Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 Thanks a whole bunch Erica. I sent what i wanted to say and i truly feel better with those words off of my chest, she really is a good persona and would be an awesome friend to keep around, but i just dont think i will ever lose my feelings for her totally, so yeah it sucks to lose a best friend. But life is what it is. Like i say sometimes. Life's tough, get a helmet. You're welcome! Yeah, it always feels good to tell someone how you feel. And you stuck up for yourself!! See... you have more strength than you think you do! Good job!!
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