sally4sara Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 Yes I agree standards, integrity ect. are important. If you met some one who was truely compatible that made your current relationship pale through social alone time that is CHEATING. No it isn't. I could meet this person in a group setting, without touching or any non-verbal communication at all. It is highly unlikely, but with the ability to recognize I don't control the world - anything is possible. Some people "meet" on-line and fall in love before ever spending any alone time together. I knew someone who claimed they loved their favorite author and they felt they had read enough books by the (unfortunately dead) writer that they knew the author well as a person. If you are still seeking some one truely compatible I sugest you shouldn't be in a marriage or seriouse relationship, just break up at that point. This is exactly what I said. People break up all the time. Even without someone new to move on to. I am not looking. I just got married to someone I had been with for over 5 years. I have guy friends. He has girl friends. We are not lost up each others' butts. It was not that is has never been an issue. When someone showed themselves as being toxic or having motives, they were gone from our social life. I met my husband through his room mate whom I had gone on a few dates with over a year prior to dating the man who would become my husband. His ex roomie was not the right person for me and we instead cultivated a friendship after a few dates. After my husband and I had been dating a year, we were long distance for 8 months. I was not asked to stop hanging out with his ex roomie, who I obviously thought to be attractive enough to have dated in the past. I did hang out with the guy; he is a friend. Alone even and more than once. Nothing bad happened. Life goes on. Now we are married, my husband knows I want to be with him because I could have left at any time. I could have chosen to not move to where he moved to. There were other options; he can feel assured that he was the best of them and not because he eliminated all male interaction from my life. This thread isn't about ensuring or removing competition. A girl who refuses to stop alone time should just be dumped. It depends on why she is refusing the request. She could be refusing because you are being ridiculous. One thing is for certain, the Sally4saras of the world would not be interested in a guy who makes demands like this no matter how good he thinks he is at pushing peoples buttons. If the friend in question is a problem, I'll likely see it before my SO and nip it in the butt long before it sets off his alarms. You can't control the future but you can make plans in the present, time exists in more places then one, relize this for more success None of my success involved plans to cut my SO off of harmless interactions. None of my success has ever involved trying to keep someone who felt they found a better suited partner, in a relationship with me. Maybe that is why I'm not on here whining about my life?
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