Thebob Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 So this girl tells me she wants to date me and give it a try but not exclusive until we get to know each other better, she tells my friend that she likes me and wants to give it a try but isn't sure about the distance. Her friends want me to date her, but when I saw her this weekend she hardly even noticed me and didn't give me the time of day to talk to her. I initiate most of the conversations but when I do the conversations are great. I feel like she is a huge waste of my time and I think I should start NC immediately because I feel like she changed her mind since she was pretty much ignoring me the whole time when I saw her last weekend. I dont get why she would tell me these things then change her mind like that. And if I am initiating everything, I feel like she should initiate as well if she was actually interested in datin cause she knows how I feel about her and what not. I don't know what to do. Thebob
counterman Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 I've had this happened before. She tells me that she wants to be with me, then changes her mind one day and the next day changes it back. After, going through all of that, I was so drained and miserable and she didn't make it any better whilst being in a relationship with me. In the end, she ended it and I knew she was going because she was never into in the first place to be 100% with me. She was not "yep! I really REALLY want to be with this guy". I should have ended it before we even started. It's a waste of time if the girl isn't completely into you.
Author Thebob Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 ya but why would she tell me straight to my face that she is willing to give me a try? then act totally different after? I asked her person to person if she wanted to and she said yes then we went on a date 3 days later, then she went back to school and it hasn't been the same. I don't know what happened, girls confuse the **** outta me and im sick of it. Im goin to start NC immediately and see where she is at. If she doesnt talk to me then I know that she was never interested and she only said that to mess with me or or something. Thebob
counterman Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 She did that because she isn't 100% on you. She isn't sure whether or not she really likes you. If she does like you, then she isn't sure she wants to date you or not. She said it to you to keep you there and to have that option that if she wants to date you then she could. My ex said she wanted to date me and then she was acting all weird and had so many doubts, which was a red flag and I should have ended it right there but I didn't. She told me things that kept me there and of course I trusted her, but something didn't feel right and she just didn't seem into it. Strange thing is she made promises and reassurances that she did want to date me, but it was bordering relunctance. She might not have been messing with you, she probably doesn't know what she wants now. Maybe your date didn't do so well, but,yes, she should just tell you straight instead of leaving you hanging. Good luck.
Author Thebob Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 Well im not goin to be her insurance card, I'm not that type of guy. If she isn't 100% in to me she never will be. If she wants to contact me she can, but in the meantime im goin to talk to other females and do what I want. I am done initiating with this girl and if she doesnt want to start conversations back that is her loss. Until she knows what she wants, im going to do whatever the hell I want, and hopefully during this gap I find a girl that fits me right. I tried me best with this girl, and if that isn't good enough for her and her knowing how I feel about her then there is nothing else I can do to change her mind. I guess im not the "fittest" in the Darwin theory. Thebob
counterman Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 If she isn't 100% in to me she never will be. It took me a while to figure that out. Even though my ex showed glimpses of really being into me, it was mostly due to guilt because I was always there for her. Definitely not the way to go. It's best not to dwell on her and focus on her too much. Just talk to other girls and live your life as you would without her. If you have always initiated contacted with her, then stop that and if she decides to come to you, she'll come to you. And, if you tried your best and you feel that it's taking away from you somewhat, such as making you tired etc., then just stop trying. Whatever you do it won't change her mind, and if she does then there's every chance she'll change her mind back. Thing of it this way, if she does decide "hey, I actually do want to date this guy", it is not going to be "hey, i really want to be with this guy for good. This is the guy I REALLY REALLY want" - I'm sure she's not sure what she wants now. Rather know now then find out later when you have a relationship and she was never really into you in the first place. In saying all of this, my word isn't the end all and be all. Just a perspective from my experience! Take care!
Author Thebob Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 Thanks man, I appreciate it. I'll just do like I said and if she comes she comes, she knows where I stand. Thanks again man! Thebob
betamanlet Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 You've got your typical flake there. If you h ave other options, take those options up. If you don't, you'll only get upset by the experience you have with this woman, as she will change her mind.
Malenfant Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 i have a friend who, when we were younger, was immensely fickle about guys. One day she would be totally besotted with a man, and the next, just went completely off him. no reason, nothing the guy had done, she just wasnt feeling it anymore. your prospect may be like this.
Clep Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 So this girl tells me she wants to date me and give it a try but not exclusive until we get to know each other better, she tells my friend that she likes me and wants to give it a try but isn't sure about the distance. Her friends want me to date her, but when I saw her this weekend she hardly even noticed me and didn't give me the time of day to talk to her. I initiate most of the conversations but when I do the conversations are great. I feel like she is a huge waste of my time and I think I should start NC immediately because I feel like she changed her mind since she was pretty much ignoring me the whole time when I saw her last weekend. I dont get why she would tell me these things then change her mind like that. And if I am initiating everything, I feel like she should initiate as well if she was actually interested in datin cause she knows how I feel about her and what not. I don't know what to do. Thebob Sounds to me like she doesn't know what she wants or she is a game player. Either way I would jump off the roller coaster and find someone who doesn't want the ride. I agree it is a huge waste of time. I think consistency brings feelings of stability and that is not something she is providing.
Author Thebob Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 I dont think she is a game player, her friends told me that she isn't seeing anyone else, and that she got out of a 2 year relationship in August and I got out of a 2-3 months relationship in september (haha). So I told her that I wasn't sure if I wanted one but if we both liked each other then we should give it a try and see if it can work out and she agreed to that. Her friends were tryin to tell her to talk to me last weekend but she kept saying she would but she never did. Whatever, I'm done killing brain cells over it, she isn't worth it. It just sucks how I thought she was and I tried to make it work for 2 months. Oh well time to move on. The moral of this story for girls is to stop beating around the bush and tell a guy that your not interested, don't worry if hes hurt or not cause longer down the road you will hurt him more if he has to find out in a bad manner. Thebob
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