theizz Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 (edited) So I met this girl online about 2 weeks ago and we met up for tea. We had a good conversation so I took her out for lunch after. I tried to get her back to my place for a movie, but she said she had to get ready for her new job and couldn't come over. The next day she texted me and we had a flirty text conversation. We made a date for pancakes and a movie at my place. So we met up and after the movie we started kissing and laying on each other on the couch. After a few minutes she said she had to leave in 20 minutes before the bars close because she's riding her bike (no she's not 15, we're both in our 20s) and didn't want to get hit by any drunk drivers. We continued kissing, but every time I tried to grab some boob she intercepted my hand and locked fingers with me. After 20 minutes she said she had to go. I kept kissing her and started to massage her back. She said something along the lines of "That's not helping me want to leave." And she gave me a big kiss and then left. The next day I get a text from her and we had another flirty text conversation. So today I called her and asked if she bowls. She said "Yeah, why?" I said I've had a craving to go lately. She said "Then we shall." But then the next thing she said is what totally confused me. It was something along the lines of "But I'm booked for the next couple of weeks." WTF? If she was interested wouldn't she find time for me within 2 weeks? So here's what I'm thinking it could be A. Maybe I came off as awkward on the phone and she lost interest. B. She said she just got back from an invite only pre-opening of a brewery. Maybe she met someone else there or went on a date with someone there. C. Maybe she's backwards rationalizing why we didn't have sex the other night, and is thinking its not meant to be, or doesn't want the pressure of knowing that I'm going to try to make it happen next time. What do you guys think this means? Honestly, I'm not interested in someone that doesn't have time for me for 2 full weeks anyway, so maybe its a mute point and I should just find someone else. But why does she keep texting me? Edited January 25, 2010 by theizz
DiscoChick Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Or maybe her swatting your hand away from her boob meant you should back up a little? Do you think you're moving too fast?
Author theizz Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 Or maybe her swatting your hand away from her boob meant you should back up a little? Do you think you're moving too fast? I don't think making out on the second date is too fast. We'd already spent several hours together each day. But then why is she texting me the next day, but tells me she's too busy to hang out for the next 2 weeks? Is that how a girl would react if she thought a guy was trying to move a little too fast?
DiscoChick Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 I was referring to the physical stuff. There's a difference between a back rub and someone squeezing my boobs, or it may just be me. My male friends give me back rubs. Get my meaning? She seems to genuinely like you, but you probably through her off my trying to squeeze her boob on the first/second day you saw her. Talking to her for two weeks doesn't mean you can squeeze her boobs. Personally, I would have tried to break your fingers, but I would never go to some guy's place alone. *shrugs* I think you moved in on the physical stuff too early. That's my vote.
Satisfaction Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 I think she likes you but you are probably moving too fast for her. Two weeks is a bit of a long wait though. Maybe she thinks you are only interested in her for sex so she is waiting to see if you will cut off contact because of that. You should just tell her what you feel and think about what you want from the relationship with her. I'm guessing she doesn't want a fling.
SoulSearch_CO Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 The guy I'm dating did not go for a boob grab on our second date or he'd have broken fingers. And we WERE making out - for like 30 mins. I think you might've crossed her boundaries. It would've crossed mine. That would've been a major turn-off.
Author theizz Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 So I was thinking about sending her a text today saying something like "I hope you don't think I'm just looking for a fling. 2 weeks seems like a long time to be busy so I was thinking somethings up. When I date girls I usually see them a lot more often than that" Is that reasonable to send. It's not a turn off is it? Also, I was thinking about our conversation and its possible I misunderstood. I think she might have said "I'm booked all this week and next weekend". But that still seems like a long time. Another thing I just realized. When we went out the first time I asked her if she wanted to go to a certain restaurant, but she said no because she didn't want to run into someone there. She also mentioned she's friends with the owner (could be the same person she didn't want to run into). Well the brewery she just went to for her invite only pre-opening is also owned by the same guy. So I'm starting to think maybe she's dating this guy too and something happened with the 2 of them the night before I called her. That could be why she suddenly is so busy.
Green Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 You just started dating her what does it matter if she is into you or not? my point is you shouldn't care. Respecting women is important, but in the spirit of romance I think its more likely to be forgiven for doing something to soon (boob grab) then to be forgiven for holding back and not doing something when you should have(like kiss). My point is don't let this affect your confidence, you shouldn't care about this girl this early because you don't really know her much and she doesn't know you. Just have fun, say something flirty like "I wan't to keep your pretty face fresh in my mind so lets do something tonight"... you get the picture, untill things are clear that she has lost interest, or you yourself lose interest just see where things tak you and stop worrying.
Author theizz Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 Just have fun, say something flirty like "I wan't to keep your pretty face fresh in my mind so lets do something tonight"... you get the picture, untill things are clear that she has lost interest, or you yourself lose interest just see where things tak you and stop worrying. Wouldn't I just be setting my self up to be turned down if she already told me she's busy for the next week or 2, and then I tell her I want to see her tonight?
Green Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Wouldn't I just be setting my self up to be turned down if she already told me she's busy for the next week or 2, and then I tell her I want to see her tonight? First off only ask if you do want to see her tonight. Second if you want to see her then yes ask, and if she turns you down just say something like "I'd really enjoy seeing you so give me a time in the next few days we can meet up" if she turns you down at that point then just wait a while and keep trying. Who cares if she turns you down and thinks your a creep. As long as you are respectful you have nothing to feel bad about and things will eventualy become clear cut. Look with my current gf she completly through me for a loop, didn't even return my phone call till after the time I wanted to go out. The point I'm trying to make is if I had given up she wouldn't be my gf now because it turns out she really did like me she just was very shy and scared to get hurt. I always just assume a girl is into me until it becomes clear she is not. It is not clear at this point you can only guess. And women actualy find persistance attractive. If in the end she finds you anoying for not reading inbetween the lines of I'm really busy for two weeks means go away, then who cares. Time will make this clear one way or another. Just be confident and you can't fail either way whether she rejects you or not
Author theizz Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 First off only ask if you do want to see her tonight. Second if you want to see her then yes ask, and if she turns you down just say something like "I'd really enjoy seeing you so give me a time in the next few days we can meet up" if she turns you down at that point then just wait a while and keep trying. Who cares if she turns you down and thinks your a creep. As long as you are respectful you have nothing to feel bad about and things will eventualy become clear cut. Look with my current gf she completly through me for a loop, didn't even return my phone call till after the time I wanted to go out. The point I'm trying to make is if I had given up she wouldn't be my gf now because it turns out she really did like me she just was very shy and scared to get hurt. I always just assume a girl is into me until it becomes clear she is not. It is not clear at this point you can only guess. And women actualy find persistance attractive. If in the end she finds you anoying for not reading inbetween the lines of I'm really busy for two weeks means go away, then who cares. Time will make this clear one way or another. Just be confident and you can't fail either way whether she rejects you or not I see your point, and I agree that I probably shouldn't really care about her or let it affect me. But it feels like I'd be coming off as needy if I ask her again. It seems like my only other option is to wait for her to contact me, and in the mean time try to meet some other girls. If I don't hear from her, I guess I can text her again next week. Its just so stressful waiting that long.
someotherguy Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 You're not going to like this, but if she's "busy for a couple weeks" then she's not that into you and she's just stringing you along and keeping you on the back burner in case something else falls through. Sorry, mate. Move on unless you don't mind being the second choice all the time.
Author theizz Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 You're not going to like this, but if she's "busy for a couple weeks" then she's not that into you and she's just stringing you along and keeping you on the back burner in case something else falls through. Sorry, mate. Move on unless you don't mind being the second choice all the time. That actually makes sense. I was actually just starting to think the same thing. Maybe she wants to use me as an orbiter. F-that. If she contacts me again, either we're closing this deal or I'm done with her.
torranceshipman Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 I don't think making out on the second date is too fast. We'd already spent several hours together each day. But then why is she texting me the next day, but tells me she's too busy to hang out for the next 2 weeks? Is that how a girl would react if she thought a guy was trying to move a little too fast? Sigh. Yes. Hanging out for a few hours, on a couple of dates, des NOT auomatically signal that it is ok for you to feel her up. Sheesh.
TouchedByViolet Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 If she felt offended about you touching her breasts she would have said it THEN and THERE. Sounds like she simply wasn't interested enough.. hence the 2 weeks If she was interested in you she wouldn't wait 2 weeks. You would be hanging out many times a week, making out a ton and moving things along. Putting the relationship in neutral is a classic technique people use to keep others guessing while they keep control.
Author theizz Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 This is crazy. She just texted me again today apologizing that she was "out of it" on the phone last night because she was tired. Talk about mixed signals. I guess TouchedByViolet is probably right and she's just stringing me along.
Awesome Username Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 This is crazy. She just texted me again today apologizing that she was "out of it" on the phone last night because she was tired. Talk about mixed signals. I guess TouchedByViolet is probably right and she's just stringing me along. I think that she might like you, but you are physically moving too fast for her and she feels threatened by it. A boob grab on the second date is pretty fast, man.
alphamale Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 What do you guys think this means? "booked for the next couple wks" generally means a blow off. no one is solidly booked for the next few weeks. if she wanted to really see you she could sneak you into her packed schedule. you should go into total black-out NC. if she contacts you to get togehter then so be it. but don't be a sap and keep on calling/txting her
Author theizz Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 "booked for the next couple wks" generally means a blow off. no one is solidly booked for the next few weeks. if she wanted to really see you she could sneak you into her packed schedule. you should go into total black-out NC. if she contacts you to get togehter then so be it. but don't be a sap and keep on calling/txting her Thanks Alpha Male. But that's the thing, I'm not texting her on my own. She keeps texting me, and I just reply. That's why I was confused. I did call her the one time, but that was it. I don't know if you saw my last post, but she just texted me again today. Should I ignore her? I want to figure out a way to turn this situation around and take control of it. But I'm trying to figure out how to be interested, while still being able to lead, instead of being strung along like a toy.
alphamale Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Thanks Alpha Male. your welcome... But I'm trying to figure out how to be interested, while still being able to lead, instead of being strung along like a toy. tell her you'll call her in a couple weeks when her schedule is more open and then you both can plan something to do. then in 2 or 3 weeks give her a call to feel her out. in the mean time keep on scamming on other chicks, don't put all your egss in one basket.
Author theizz Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 your welcome... tell her you'll call her in a couple weeks when her schedule is more open and then you both can plan something to do. then in 2 or 3 weeks give her a call to feel her out. in the mean time keep on scamming on other chicks, don't put all your egss in one basket. I love you, and not in a gay way.
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