now_what Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 My birthday was today and my parents took me, my younger daughter and my older daughter and her family out to dinner. Afterward, back at the house, the girls were sitting next to each other and my older daughter said that she had not talked to her dad since he stopped by at Christmas to exchange gifts. My younger daughter said that was the last time she had contact with her dad too. They both looked wistful and a little sad. I just hate that his selfishness pretty much removed him from his children's life. OK, so he didn't want to be with me and left me after 30 years of marriage for another woman who he married as soon as possible after our divorce (without even mentioning her to the children), but he doesn't need to distance himself from the kids, which as time goes on, he seems to be doing more and more. I didn't say anything - there is really nothing I can say. I just wish with all my heart that he would have wanted to work on our marriage and spared the children the breakup of our family. He is becoming a stranger to all of us, which is sad. He is really nothing to me anymore except a financial source and that will end in about 18 months. He will always be a dad though, but he really doesn't have a clue about his children's lives anymore. They have tried to contact him, but can only leave a message on his cell phone (he claims to not have reception where he lives)- which they are getting tired of doing and he can only return the calls when they can't take the call during the day, so they play phone tag for a while, then they don't even feel like bothering.
counterman Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 I feel for you. It would be tough on you and your kids but, at the least, you are there for them. They miss him and you miss him too but if he doesn't want to put in the effort to keep in touch with his children then he's not much of a father now. It's sad but that's the way it is. If your children keep hoping this will change, it will just drag them down and you feel so drained. At least they have you there and you love them. Stay strong.
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