kis Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 I didnt mean for it to happen but have become quite close to a male co-worker. He is very flirtatious and we have admitted to being attracted to each other. we are both married. This is a new situation for me and I just assumed that it was for him to. But over the course of time I have come to relize that he has been in this situation several times before. Always just an emotional attachment never physical. I really find this hard to understand. Why would he do this over and over. And if he is so interested in other women why does he always insist it does not get physical. This sure makes me feel less special. Does anyone have any insight? Know a serial emotional cheater? Please share.
norajane Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 He's getting a HUGE ego boost by having women fawn all over him. It makes him feel like he's "still got it". And he likes having a woman who adores him at work and a woman who adores him at home. It's all about ego and validation. He doesn't let it get physical because he doesn't want to cheat on his wife. But he likes the attention and you give it freely, so he'll take it and enjoy it.
lkjh Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 just because he claims he doesn't want it to get physical doesn't mean that is true. He is smart, he knows if he tells you that you will trust him. He is playing you and he will eventually try to take it to the next level. If you want to ruin your marriage, end up another stat and one more of his conquest stick around and let him play his game. If you want to hold your head up with pride and dignity stop talking to him now. Do not explain the situation to him just pretend to not be interested in him at all, not even as a friend. If you explain anything to him he will manipulate you. By telling you he doesn't want it to go physical he has done two things; one he has gained your trust and two he has taken control and made himself out to be the one setting boundaries. He is playing you
lkjh Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 He's getting a HUGE ego boost by having women fawn all over him. It makes him feel like he's "still got it". And he likes having a woman who adores him at work and a woman who adores him at home. It's all about ego and validation. He doesn't let it get physical because he doesn't want to cheat on his wife. But he likes the attention and you give it freely, so he'll take it and enjoy it. I disagree, he wants it to get physical but he understands that if you are patient with women and reject them at first they will want you more
Bryanp Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 How would you feel if your husband was becoming involved with another woman at work the way you are? Are you willing to put your marriage at risk?
BlueeyedJonesy Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 I used to work with a guy just like this...he played with all of the girls heads and each and every one of them thought "oh I'm so special to him" he was an ego maniac and I exposed him when my best friend fell for his BS. Don't be one of those females...and I think you should show more concern for your marriage and the trouble its in rather than this guy...hes all about ego!
carhill Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 He is very flirtatious and we have admitted to being attracted to each other. Male attention whore. Acknowledge his lack of boundaries and move on. Your career with thank you Yes, I know a number of men like him. They are not my friends.
make me believe Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 just because he claims he doesn't want it to get physical doesn't mean that is true. He is smart, he knows if he tells you that you will trust him. He is playing you and he will eventually try to take it to the next level. By telling you he doesn't want it to go physical he has done two things; one he has gained your trust and two he has taken control and made himself out to be the one setting boundaries. He is playing you Totally! He is setting things up so that when he finally tries to sleep with you, you will feel sooo special being the "only" woman he has physically cheated with. But why are you getting involved with him anyway? You claim that you didn't mean for it to happen, but these things DO NOT "just happen". There is ALWAYS a point where you CHOOSE to cross the line by flirting, telling him personal things, etc. This happened because you let it happen.
bethykins Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 He's getting a HUGE ego boost by having women fawn all over him. It makes him feel like he's "still got it". And he likes having a woman who adores him at work and a woman who adores him at home. It's all about ego and validation. He doesn't let it get physical because he doesn't want to cheat on his wife. But he likes the attention and you give it freely, so he'll take it and enjoy it. You are totally right on the money.
Author kis Posted January 30, 2010 Author Posted January 30, 2010 He's getting a HUGE ego boost by having women fawn all over him. It makes him feel like he's "still got it". And he likes having a woman who adores him at work and a woman who adores him at home. It's all about ego and validation. He doesn't let it get physical because he doesn't want to cheat on his wife. But he likes the attention and you give it freely, so he'll take it and enjoy it. Ive read all the post and I think you are the one who has it right. he likes the attention, who wouldnt. But feels like he is not cheating because he doesnt get physical. I guess i just have never encountered this. any way I do value his friendship.
White Flower Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 I didnt mean for it to happen but have become quite close to a male co-worker. He is very flirtatious and we have admitted to being attracted to each other. we are both married. This is a new situation for me and I just assumed that it was for him to. But over the course of time I have come to realize that he has been in this situation several times before. Always just an emotional attachment never physical. I really find this hard to understand. Why would he do this over and over. And if he is so interested in other women why does he always insist it does not get physical. This sure makes me feel less special. Does anyone have any insight? Know a serial emotional cheater? Please share. Be very careful. Good liars know how to make you believe it was never physical before. Don't be so quick to believe him and defend him on it. BTDT. He obviously gets something out of it if he does it over and over. He may not even know the answer.
lkjh Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 You are buying into the "he doesn't want it to go physical" nonsense. You are a grown woman and you know better. If you keep this friendship count on becoming the OW and destroying your family and self-confidence
White Flower Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 just because he claims he doesn't want it to get physical doesn't mean that is true. He is smart, he knows if he tells you that you will trust him. He is playing you and he will eventually try to take it to the next level. If you want to ruin your marriage, end up another stat and one more of his conquest stick around and let him play his game. If you want to hold your head up with pride and dignity stop talking to him now. Do not explain the situation to him just pretend to not be interested in him at all, not even as a friend. If you explain anything to him he will manipulate you. By telling you he doesn't want it to go physical he has done two things; one he has gained your trust and two he has taken control and made himself out to be the one setting boundaries. He is playing you I have to applaud LKJH for this post. We dont' usually get along, but I have to say he hit the nail on the head with this one. It is all true. Don't trust this guy.
White Flower Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 He's getting a HUGE ego boost by having women fawn all over him. It makes him feel like he's "still got it". And he likes having a woman who adores him at work and a woman who adores him at home. It's all about ego and validation. He doesn't let it get physical because he doesn't want to cheat on his wife. But he likes the attention and you give it freely, so he'll take it and enjoy it. Or maybe he cheats on his wife over and over and just doesn't trust you enough to tell you. Would you 'be the one' to sleep with him if you knew he HAD slept with any of them??? I didn't think so.
seibert253 Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 I didnt mean for it to happen but have become quite close to a male co-worker. He is very flirtatious and we have admitted to being attracted to each other. we are both married. This is a new situation for me and I just assumed that it was for him to. But over the course of time I have come to relize that he has been in this situation several times before. Always just an emotional attachment never physical. I really find this hard to understand. Why would he do this over and over. And if he is so interested in other women why does he always insist it does not get physical. This sure makes me feel less special. Does anyone have any insight? Know a serial emotional cheater? Please share. The question should not be why he did it, but why did YOU.
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