kiran Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 I've posted on here a couple of times about my husband who cheated on me with another woman, admitted it to me then see-sawed between the two of us for the past two weeks, finally on Wednesday told me he was going to keep seeing her because "It's something I have to do". Said he still loves me and is confused. I have not contacted him since Wednesday night. About 15 minutes ago, I got a text from him - "How are you". WTF? Why would he even care? Why did he text me that? Please, I need someone to tell me to NOT text him back because I'm about *this* close to caving. If I want him back - I shouldn't reply, right?
Silver_star Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 DONT TEXT HIM! One..your better then this. He is ruining your marriage, and dont accept him betraying you and throwing away his promise to you in marriage to love and cherish YOU, not some chick that is "something to do". He is having issues...if you really do want to save this marriage, for some reason..Suggest that you go to a couples counselling and that he call off the other girl. THis is ultimatum time! He is either going to fix it or it is over. You cant fix it by yourself. To be honest with yourself tho...can u forgive and love him the same? He has commmitted the biggest betrayl to your relationship. He is showing you by his actions how he feels. Dont take that.
Perhaps Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Do NOT. Cave. This is where the beauty of NC kicks in. You're SUPPOSED to ignore his texts. You don't need that crap in your life. He's just trying to see if you'll still run back to him. You HAVE to show him that if he wants to fix things, HE's the one who will have to do the running. Good luck!
Author kiran Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 Well, there is a lot to our 15 year relationship, it's complicated, and I do want to try to work it out with him. So the best way to do that, at this point in time, is to ignore him, right? DONT TEXT HIM! One..your better then this. He is ruining your marriage, and dont accept him betraying you and throwing away his promise to you in marriage to love and cherish YOU, not some chick that is "something to do". He is having issues...if you really do want to save this marriage, for some reason..Suggest that you go to a couples counselling and that he call off the other girl. THis is ultimatum time! He is either going to fix it or it is over. You cant fix it by yourself. To be honest with yourself tho...can u forgive and love him the same? He has commmitted the biggest betrayl to your relationship. He is showing you by his actions how he feels. Dont take that.
dazzle22 Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Where exactly is he staying right now? How do you know, he might be texting while he is sitting on the john in HER house? I have discovered that is a favorite place for men to text from....the john that is. Kind of takes the romance out of it...which is what I am trying to do for you...
Silver_star Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 ITs complicated because you have 15 years of your life put into it...looks like 15 years of being in a relaitonship with u is not an deterrent for him not to cheat on you. he has LEARNED from u that he can have u whenever he wants even if he ccheats on you or treats u like crap. Sure if u want him back( he sounds like a gem btw), play your little game of no contact...just so you know its not a game...its either u dont talk to them again, or u play games to try and win him back...and ur not winning anything but more betrayl..hes not leaving this sex on the side until hes good and ready.
madisonlayne Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 I agree with Silver star on all points. You deserve better than this - from him. Don't forget that.
Author kiran Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 Ha ha! Thanks for that. He is staying with his friend; that's where he was when we last spoke Wednesday night. Why would he bother to text me? Guilt? Where exactly is he staying right now? How do you know, he might be texting while he is sitting on the john in HER house? I have discovered that is a favorite place for men to text from....the john that is. Kind of takes the romance out of it...which is what I am trying to do for you...
Silver_star Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Guilt and manipulation...he has to keep up with the facade that hes a superstud that has got two women pining for him. If u ignore him he will be back to one women and thats just not good enough to feed his ego. Hes playing a game.
Author kiran Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 I get it. He is on an ego trip and by me not texting him back, he's probably going nuts. I expect he will continue to try to contact me. I won't bite. He made the decision to be with her (after waffling and saying he loves me) - I really think he thought I'd be sitting here waiting to hear from him. Guilt and manipulation...he has to keep up with the facade that hes a superstud that has got two women pining for him. If u ignore him he will be back to one women and thats just not good enough to feed his ego. Hes playing a game.
Silver_star Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 I get it. He is on an ego trip and by me not texting him back, he's probably going nuts. I expect he will continue to try to contact me. I won't bite. He made the decision to be with her (after waffling and saying he loves me) - I really think he thought I'd be sitting here waiting to hear from him. yep..he was likely banking on some attention from u. Hes a loser. Good job not talking to him.
Vampire Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Why would he bother to text me? Guilt? Nope. So he can have his cake and eat it. Throw the word 'Divorce' in his direction and see how the stud turns into a dud. 15 years is a long time; I'm out of a 10 year relationship, so I know how hard it is to let go when you're so used to that one person. Don't let him walk all over you. Stay strong!
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