dietpepsi Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 How do you take your ex unblocking you on Facebook? I was unblocked today, but was blocked last night. (I know I know, the internet is serious business and all, but people do tend to treat Facebook like an extension of their social lives more often than not) Normally if they were with a new love interest in their picture, i would get it, but their not. It's an old default. We've been apart over 4 months, by their choice, I was asked by them not to contact them anymore, and then they blocked me from Facebook for the last 4 months or so, and blocked my phone number etc. They did answer an email i sent a few weeks back, a friendly "you might like this" email, and was very nice and appreciative to my suprise, after ignoring every attempt to contact them previously (which wasn't THAT much really, but it seemed to do the job to get asked "leave me alone"). However this answered email was after 2 months of NC, a phone call i extended last week, one of those "see how you're doing" phone calls, still revealed that my number still blocked. However we work together (although not in the same building anymore) but i was in their area, and i could have swore they were looking at me out of the corner of their eye, i caught this with peripheral vision. Also, this is right around the time we started dating last year during Jan/Feb. What do you guys think? (I'm not taking any stock in this, I've been letting the grass grow under my feet for 2 months, making good headway in the your getting better dept.) But to those who have been blocked or have blocked, what are your experiences with finding or giving the reverse.
USMCHokie Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Means nothing...getting off the Book was one of the best decisions I ever made... You shouldn't worry about her or whether she's blocked or unblocked or whatever...NC is just that...NC of any sort...
Author dietpepsi Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 Means nothing...getting off the Book was one of the best decisions I ever made... You shouldn't worry about her or whether she's blocked or unblocked or whatever...NC is just that...NC of any sort... Yeah I'm not sure why i broke it in the first place, but on some level it made me feel better, like they didn't think i was a stalker anymore or something haha, Funny the things that you make you feel better. I think that was just because I was ashamed of some of the things i said. The reason i ask, is because we will be in the same vicinity for the next 4 months or so, they don't know that yet, but I'm just trying to get my head on straight
Author dietpepsi Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 PS i like that quote in your sig, is that from something, or did you write that?
USMCHokie Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 PS i like that quote in your sig, is that from something, or did you write that? Vertical Horizon - Even Now You should give it a listen...
bananaboat11 Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Hey man - honestly... I was in the SAME situation as you. Bad breakup. bitch of an ex blocked my phone #.. blocked me on fb.. blocked my best friend (female who was JUST a friend).. de-fb'd all my friends (who were her friends too heh)... 3 months go by and RANDOMLY she unblocked me. What the **** does it mean? Clearly she just doesn't not care.. if she didn't care... they would've left us on block. Could mean a couple things, I believe.. 1. They are sorry for what they did to us. guilt. 2. Something happened with the new person they're with (or the ex she went back to, in my case) and she wants to see if I'm on the backburner or you are... 3. They truly miss us... but somehow, their pride is preventing them from breaking No contact... and that's the first step 4. They're hoping we'll contact them just to feed their ego thinking they can have us whenever they want. ...in the end. BE STRONG. Block the ****er. I blocked my ex a couple days after she unblocked me.. thinking I'd give HER the chance to break the NC. She didn't. Her loss. She + all the mutuals are blocked now and I'm moving on with my life. If she wants me... she'll find a way to contact me. If your ex wants you... they'll find a way.... Move on. No contact. be strong! you're better than this.
sedgwick Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 (edited) The question is why YOU didn't unfriend THEM the moment they left. It baffles me how many people on here continue to be "friends" on fb after a breakup. Why on earth would you put yourself through that?!?!?!? Especially when the person is ignoring your attempts at contact...there comes a point when you have to have some self-respect! Edited January 25, 2010 by sedgwick
USMCHokie Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 The question is why YOU didn't unfriend THEM the moment they left. It baffles me how many people on here continue to be "friends" on fb after a breakup. Why on earth would you put yourself through that?!?!?!? Especially when the person is ignoring your attempts at contact...there comes a point when you have to have some self-respect! Because new dumpees still hold onto hope that they will get back together with the dumpers...so they don't want to do anything that might create the impression that they are "over" their dumper...dumpees can oftentimes be a sad bunch...
Catseye8 Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Yeah, what Sedgwick said. Anyone who broke my heart doesn't get my help in Farmville.
Author dietpepsi Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 (edited) The question is why YOU didn't unfriend THEM the moment they left. It baffles me how many people on here continue to be "friends" on fb after a breakup. Why on earth would you put yourself through that?!?!?!? Especially when the person is ignoring your attempts at contact...there comes a point when you have to have some self-respect! Honestly I didn't even really have the time to think about it. I was de-friended by the next afternoon the night after the breakup, FB was the furthest thing from my mind, but the block came a month later. @banana, thanks for the related story, its good perspective. thanks for all the replies from everyone else as well Edited January 25, 2010 by dietpepsi
aerogurl87 Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 In the end, unblocking someone from facebook means nada unless the person actually comes out and says "I made a big mistake, I'm sorry, but can we try and work things out". If none of that happens, then this means nothing. Could it be a gateway to better things? Who knows, but I wouldn't put too much stock in it. My ex whom I'm reconciling with now, still hasn't unblocked me from facebook, but we're talking now and are on friendly terms as we get to know each other again. And honestly, I don't want him to unblock me until we're back together because I actually think that if he did that would be a hinderance to our healing process. But that's just me. All I have to say is wait to hear the words I mentioned above. Until that happens, just assume they still aren't interested.
VBH Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 I don't think it means all that much with regard to the FB issue. I blocked my ex from FB when there appeared to be too many comments on my status updates. I wasn't trying to be mean or anything, but it was difficult to deal with a someone who only wanted to make casual comments on my life as opposed to really have a conversation with me. I have unblocked this person recently, but again, it doesn't mean much. I just no longer wish have any hard feelings. This person has never blocked me, but they don't put that much on their page to begin with. Just take your time and don't read into anything. Sometimes, people think they are being nice when in fact all they are really doing is trying to get rid of their guilt. Bottom line, unless this person comes to you and says they want to talk and mean it....everything else means nothing. Good Luck, VBH
bananaboat11 Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 I don't think it means all that much with regard to the FB issue. I blocked my ex from FB when there appeared to be too many comments on my status updates. I wasn't trying to be mean or anything, but it was difficult to deal with a someone who only wanted to make casual comments on my life as opposed to really have a conversation with me. I have unblocked this person recently, but again, it doesn't mean much. I just no longer wish have any hard feelings. This person has never blocked me, but they don't put that much on their page to begin with. Just take your time and don't read into anything. Sometimes, people think they are being nice when in fact all they are really doing is trying to get rid of their guilt. Bottom line, unless this person comes to you and says they want to talk and mean it....everything else means nothing. Good Luck, VBH So basically... my ex has completely forgotten about me and is moving on with her life and cares less that I blocked her FB. life is so cruel.
VBH Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 So basically... my ex has completely forgotten about me and is moving on with her life and cares less that I blocked her FB. life is so cruel. Everyone is different. I have no idea as to whether or not your ex forgot about you. Although I'd doubt it she did. Most females analyze and over analyze some more, so again I doubt you've been forgotten (in fact your actions left lots of confusion and interpretation in its wake....lol). This no doubt leads to many phone calls to other gfs to talk and figure the whole thing out. And the list goes on. lol If I were blocked by my ex on FB, I'd feel horrible, but if that is what he wanted and somehow he found peace in his decisions, then that is what matters. I care about him too much too just forget and happily move on, but I also care enough to just let go. If that is what he needs to have happen...then regardless of how I feel...So Be It. And yes, life can be quite cruel. VBH
bananaboat11 Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 (edited) Everyone is different. I have no idea as to whether or not your ex forgot about you. Although I'd doubt it she did. Most females analyze and over analyze some more, so again I doubt you've been forgotten (in fact your actions left lots of confusion and interpretation in its wake....lol). This no doubt leads to many phone calls to other gfs to talk and figure the whole thing out. And the list goes on. lol If I were blocked by my ex on FB, I'd feel horrible, but if that is what he wanted and somehow he found peace in his decisions, then that is what matters. I care about him too much too just forget and happily move on, but I also care enough to just let go. If that is what he needs to have happen...then regardless of how I feel...So Be It. And yes, life can be quite cruel. VBH Eh, I don't know with this girl... she JUST got out of a 4 year relationship... 2 of the last 4 years her ex cheated on her. SHe met me. 4.5 months... always telling me she was falling in love with me. she seduced me on the first date 2 months in she let me know she really wanted to be with me, but never faced her breakup with her ex.. she had a breakdown. she then acted like that never happened after I gave her her space... I told her we needed to talk about it... she started an argument with me. I told her how much I cared about her, but this isn't healthy. I dumped her. she came crawling back... she was mentally abusive and verbally abusive to me during the relationship. swear on g-d's name i never raised my voice or a hand to her. never thought of cheating on her nor undress another woman with my eyes. I really, really liked her.. or the thought of her. i dunno anymore. 4.5 months in... we took a break for a week (her choice) I freaked out, I admit... but finally gave her her space... we got back together. she goes home for a weekend... the night she goes home.. next morning she dumped me over facebook... she then blocked my best female friend (hot friend who is JUST a friend).. blocked me.. defacebooked ALL my friends... like seriously? told me I was just a comfort and I was a rebound blah blah blah... only thing she complimented was the sex... we've been NC since. I did try to send her a platonic e-mail 3 weeks post... but no response from her. got a response from her bitchy friend telling me I made up the entire relationship and nicole (my ex) never wants to speak to me again. w/e I cried if out with my friends in real life who were VERY supportive, thank g-d. 4.5 month rebound. you shouldn't care. don't unblock me. keep me blocked. still kept NC. a lot of people who met her and were getting to know her (even her roommate) tell me she'll eventually be back. I hate that thought. ugh. y'know? heh Edited January 25, 2010 by bananaboat11
USMCHokie Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Rob, as I mentioned before, I refuse to rest until I've found a crazy girl like yours to be in a relationship with. Now the question is, where do you find these girls...?!
bananaboat11 Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Rob, as I mentioned before, I refuse to rest until I've found a crazy girl like yours to be in a relationship with. Now the question is, where do you find these girls...?! come up to amherst, mass... i know lots of 'em... FML.
USMCHokie Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 come up to amherst, mass... i know lots of 'em... FML. I'm workin' on it...
VBH Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 (edited) Eh, I don't know with this girl... she JUST got out of a 4 year relationship... 2 of the last 4 years her ex cheated on her. SHe met me. 4.5 months... always telling me she was falling in love with me. she seduced me on the first date 2 months in she let me know she really wanted to be with me, but never faced her breakup with her ex.. she had a breakdown. she then acted like that never happened after I gave her her space... I told her we needed to talk about it... she started an argument with me. I told her how much I cared about her, but this isn't healthy. I dumped her. she came crawling back... she was mentally abusive and verbally abusive to me during the relationship. swear on g-d's name i never raised my voice or a hand to her. never thought of cheating on her nor undress another woman with my eyes. I really, really liked her.. or the thought of her. i dunno anymore. 4.5 months in... we took a break for a week (her choice) I freaked out, I admit... but finally gave her her space... we got back together. she goes home for a weekend... the night she goes home.. next morning she dumped me over facebook... she then blocked my best female friend (hot friend who is JUST a friend).. blocked me.. defacebooked ALL my friends... like seriously? told me I was just a comfort and I was a rebound blah blah blah... only thing she complimented was the sex... we've been NC since. I did try to send her a platonic e-mail 3 weeks post... but no response from her. got a response from her bitchy friend telling me I made up the entire relationship and nicole (my ex) never wants to speak to me again. w/e I cried if out with my friends in real life who were VERY supportive, thank g-d. 4.5 month rebound. you shouldn't care. don't unblock me. keep me blocked. still kept NC. a lot of people who met her and were getting to know her (even her roommate) tell me she'll eventually be back. I hate that thought. ugh. y'know? heh Hmmm, I understand what you mean. I cannot say whether or not she'll be back, but from what you describe....is that what you really want? If my ex acted that way, I doubt I would want to talk to them again. Seriously. My ex and I never acted that way towards each other and yet I couldn't tell you I'd want him back for sure. There might be too much criteria on my part to have that happen. lol Again, you mention in your post the relationship or interaction wasn't that healthy....you would be correct on this...stick with that thought. Now you need to decide what a healthy relationship means and do you want or could you ever have one with the ex once you figure that out? The ex does sound rather unbalanced though and you're correct in the way you feel. Anyway, my advice is to move on for now. Think of things that make you happy that exclude her or thoughts of her. Do something nice for yourself. Ignore FB. FB lists all of your "friends", but are the vast majority really your friends? I don't regularly talk to most of the people listed on my page. If you asked me in RL if they were my friend, I'd say no. I guess it depends on what your definition of "friend" is. In other words, the FB thing, doesn't matter that much in the grand scheme of things. At the end of the day, FB is just another internet site. Let the FB thing go...if they block you, then take that as a sign (if only temporary) and let go. If it is meant to be....it'll work its way out one way or another. VBH Edited January 25, 2010 by VBH
bananaboat11 Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Hmmm, I understand what you mean. I cannot say whether or not she'll be back, but from what you describe....is that what you really want? If my ex acted that way, I doubt I would want to talk to them again. Seriously. My ex and I never acted that way towards each other and yet I couldn't tell you I'd want him back for sure. There might be too much criteria on my part to have that happen. lol Again, you mention in your post the relationship or interaction wasn't that healthy....you would be correct on this...stick with that thought. Now you need to decide what a healthy relationship means and do you want or could you ever have one with the ex once you figure that out? The ex does sound rather unbalanced though and you're correct in the way you feel. Anyway, my advice is to move on for now. Think of things that make you happy that exclude her or thoughts of her. Do something nice for yourself. Ignore FB. FB lists all of your "friends", but are the vast majority really your friends? I don't regularly talk to most of the people listed on my page. If you asked me in RL if they were my friend, I'd say no. I guess it depends on what your definition of "friend" is. In other words, the FB thing, doesn't matter that much in the grand scheme of things. At the end of the day, FB is just another internet site. Let the FB thing go...if they block you, then take that as a sign (if only temporary) and let go. If it is meant to be....it'll work its way out one way or another. VBH I definitely agree. I would never want her back.. but to be dumped ver facebook and told I was only used and she had been lying to me the entire time took a huge hit to my ego... it sucked. I don't expect her back, but the FB thing threw me off for a few days. Honestly... if YOU the dumper don't care.. just leave me on block. It shouldn't matter. regardless... I blocked her now. I expect she was expecting me to contact her... she has a lot of pride like that. sucks for me. FB block and unblock is still a 'game'... regardless of how YOU perceive it, no offense. I definitely understand everyone is entitled to their opinions, but when you're blocked by someone... it stings. When you're unblocked... you want to know why? There is always a why! it's never an 'eh, don't care anymore so i'll remove them from block'... you don't go through the pain of going to privacy settings > block list > remove from block for nothing... Something is going through YOUR head as the dumper. the ****ed up thing is... as toxic as my ex was.. I fell HARD for her. it sucked. w/e she does, just hope she's well. i'm moving on as it's all I can do. like hell I break the NC... it'll put me @ square 1 all over again. sometimes you remember the good. I'm wondering what happens if I unblock her for 48 hours... (you have to keep someone unblocked to reblock 'em according to FB's new stupid rules)... does she block me again? will she contact me? nothing? either way.. i'm screwed. so i'll just keep her on block. if she wants to talk.. she can text or e-mail me. my phone automatically hangs up if she calls me. love the new app for my phone 'call blocking lite'
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