JoJola Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 ok..i have been dating this guy for about 7 months; the last couple of months have been rocky. Last week i sent him an IM about some of the issues and apparently his dautgher read them; now he mad at me and jst said "not kool". I have been through a lot with this man! So the problem is that whenever something like this happens he completely will ignore me; this happened once before. Now, since things have not been that good and he started ignoring me i simply sent him a message asking him to speak to me please..also i commented that if he no longer wanted to talk to me or see me jst come and say so...i will be gone. I mean there is not sense in me hanging around while he ignres me, right! Now he can text me, im me, email me..use any form of communication to say..no I dont want to see you and am fine with that, i have made that clear. So since you dont have to face a person I would think that it would not be that hard, right? Jst tell me so i can move on and not hang on! Now one more thing, last time i was at his house i left my bracelet and jacket there; everytime i ask for my items back he does not repsond..i even told him if he didnt want to see me he can leave them in a bag on the porch and i can pick them up when he is not there so we do have any confrontation, if tht is what he prefers...i even offered to send him the postage and he can mail them back, mostly the bracelet cause it has sentimental value. so my question is .... i am giving him the easiet way out possible, but he does know i care about him very much! Why cant he jst say "yes" or "no". he knows im not the stalking type or crying type...so why? And why will he not respond to me about getting my things back? Guys..........i dont understand and have never had this type of thing happen...most men are quick to say yes i leave it by the road and you can come get it when im at work, or to send a message back saynig no i done wnat to continue to communicate....not jst ignore the direct question. JoJola[COLOR=#000000]View Public Profile[/COLOR][COLOR=#000000]Find More Posts by JoJola[/COLOR]
OceanTropic Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 He's playing games. He isn't being direct in responding because he doesn't want anything to be "official". I don't think he wants to break up with you, but since you are so direct in saying "Listen just give me my stuff and Ill leave you alone" I think you scared him, and he is afraid to say anything. Let him contact you first, stop initiating. He will eventually, he WILL, I promise. As for your stuff, if you need it urgently, just show up at his place and get it while you're there.
Author JoJola Posted January 24, 2010 Author Posted January 24, 2010 Waiting is the hardest thing in the world...I mean how long do I have to wait...one month? But I will trust you on this even though it is driving me crzy. Oh, and one more thing; he also knows that right now my mother is dying of cancer...I mean how cold can you be?
txsilkysmoothe Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 I don't think he was mad enough to break up. "Not Kool" means "I'm overwhelmed by what's happend and need time to process it" and he has only had one week to do that. You have added to what he needs to think about by asking him to tell you if it's over and give your things back. I think you'll get a chance to work it out with him. The question is "do you want it?" Ignoring someone is not a healthy way to deal with conflict. If all you want are your things, wait a couple of weeks, then ask again.
meerkat stew Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 Making two threads on the same exact topic is "not kool."
Author JoJola Posted January 24, 2010 Author Posted January 24, 2010 I had tried to delet the first one...however it didnt work and mabye you cant....? Srry!
Match Factor Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 Why is he blaming you for his daughter looking at his phone? He needs some perspective and some control over his electronics. Every time you communicate with him, it gives him the permission to not communicate with you. He is content just to know that you are occupied out there thinking of him and wondering what is going on in his mind. I would text him one more time and ask him to please respect you enough to return you things, and then stop..... completely. He will contact you after a while. You have to be brave.
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