What should I do?(I'll love you if you answer)

[Miserable545]

This is pretty long I'll warn you now but the *******s at Yahoo answers give me one bad answer and give up so here goes.

 

I am head over heels for this girl I know. We've been best friends for about 2 and a half years. She has had a lot of trouble with guys. She dated one guy who used her to get to her best friend, another who used her to brag to his friends, another who just dumped her for no reason and asked out the next girl he saw (literally the next one..I was there, and beat the **** out of him for it)

 

The thing is she only dates one type of guy, she says she has a thing for Brunette runners, but they just keep hurting her. Yet she still only dates brunette runners. I am not a brunette runner.

 

A while ago I told this girl how I felt, it was about 2 months ago, maybe longer. She said she wanted to stay friends and wasn't ready for another relationship. I went into a major depression for about 2 months, I just got out of it about a week ago. She has now started dating another Brunette runner. This one is also a total *******, he's dated 3 girls at once before, and in my opinion that's just terrible.

 

She keeps dating these terrible guys but I'm so nice to her, I tell her how beautiful she is every day, I make her laugh when she's sad, I listen to everything she has to say, I bought her very expensive and nice Christmas and Birthday presents this year, I've written her poetry too. But she shows no interest.

 

Everyone with eyes sees that it won't last between him and her, and I don't want to see her get hurt again, seeing her in that much pain is unbearable. I don't know what to do. I want to painlessly separate them but I can't and won't because it'll upset her and I refuse to do that. I wish she would show me some interest too so I could show her that there are guys out there besides brunette runners, and not all guys are jerks.

 

If you read all that and have any advice I appreciate it more than you could possibly imagine, seriously.

Edited January 24, 2010 by Miserable545

[squeaky]

Well, unfortunately, she is just not interested in dating you. You've done all of this really sweet stuff for her, and she should be able to see that you're a good catch, but she doesn't. Maybe she doesn't know what's good for her, or maybe she sees something incompatible in you (whether it be your personality or your looks, whatever). The bottom line is that she doesn't want to date you, and whatever you're doing right now is not going to change that.

 

If you continue on the path you're on, things won't change. So you can resign yourself to a platonic friendship with her, and accept the fact that she doesn't want to be with you. Or you can distance yourself from her and meet new people who will appreciate your thoughtfulness. Maybe if you're not around all of the time, doing nice things for her, she'll start to appreciate you more. Then again, she might not miss you at all. But you can't make someone have feelings for you, and if you continue in this relationship the way you are going, you're probably not going to feel very satisfied. I think your best bet at this point is to move on.

 

I know you really care for her, and it stinks. But you need to find someone who appreciates you for you.

[Gcm]

While I hate to be the bearer of bad news, she's not into you in that way.

 

Speaking from my own personal experience, there can be a girl that will do absolutely anything and everything for me. If I'm not interested in her, it won't progress from anything more than a friendship.

 

There's a girl I know extremely well and have known her for quite some time. She has her head screwed on, she's rather attractive, she's going to stay a virgin until she's married, and she will do absolutely anything to put that ring on my finger; however, I just don't think it would work between us and I would never give it that chance... ever.

 

There's something about you that's not "relationship" material in her eyes. Don't be upset by this as there are many girls out there that I'm sure you wouldn't want anything to do with; regardless of how good looking they are and how much they cater for your needs.

 

Unfortunately, life's not like a Hollywood movie. You may be thinking that "If I stick around her long enough, maybe she'll come to her senses and realise that she's found a decent guy in me and choose to settle down". If she does that, it's usually going to be for the wrong reasons and you're going to end up a rebound.

 

I could post quite a bit more on this but I'm about to see my FB; someone I need to write a lengthy post about a little later.

 

All the best mate.

[USMCHokie]

Well, unfortunately, she is just not interested in dating you. You've done all of this really sweet stuff for her, and she should be able to see that you're a good catch, but she doesn't. Maybe she doesn't know what's good for her, or maybe she sees something incompatible in you (whether it be your personality or your looks, whatever). The bottom line is that she doesn't want to date you, and whatever you're doing right now is not going to change that.

 

If you continue on the path you're on, things won't change. So you can resign yourself to a platonic friendship with her, and accept the fact that she doesn't want to be with you. Or you can distance yourself from her and meet new people who will appreciate your thoughtfulness. Maybe if you're not around all of the time, doing nice things for her, she'll start to appreciate you more. Then again, she might not miss you at all. But you can't make someone have feelings for you, and if you continue in this relationship the way you are going, you're probably not going to feel very satisfied. I think your best bet at this point is to move on.

 

I know you really care for her, and it stinks. But you need to find someone who appreciates you for you.

 

 

This post is pretty much spot on.

 

However, I did enjoy trying to guess what words you used that were censored out...

[someotherguy]

Quite frankly dude, you're a total sap, and this girl will never be in the sack with you.

 

Here's my advice:

 

Go no-contact with her for at least 3 months to get her out of your head a bit and get your balls back.

 

You need to work on your self-esteem, and stop seeking validation from someone who doesn't value you the same way you value her, she has too much control over you, because you put her on a pedestal.

 

If you want to remain friends with her, that's your own business, but I would recommend against it until you have a love interest in your life, or you'll just pine over this girl and never move on, and she probably really enjoys the constant ego stroking you give her.

 

Also, try to get over her before you burden some other girl with your unhealthy obsession for this one.

 

There's a remote possibility once you're out of her life a bit she'll recognize that you're really her soul mate and hahahahaha, just kidding mate, she'll tear your heart out if you let her. Move on.

[hoping2heal]

She doesn't want to date you. Not because you are nice to her and write her poetry and these guys are dicks, in fact it's because you treat her nicely and do things for her yet she STILL rejects you; that I can tell she doesn't want to date you.

 

In my younger, more idiotic days there were men I liked who didn't really treat me the greatest. Then I had this one friend who was always around no matter what for me. He was the nicest (at the time) anyone had been but I still couldn't be attracted to him (even though I wanted to be because he was nice) so it didn't matter how "nice" he treated me, I could never agree to a Rs with him, I just did not want to date him at all. He didn't turn my crank physically or mentally or emotionally.

 

You may be a nice guy who really cares for her but she still doesn't want to date you. You're going to have to accept it.

[sagetalk]

 

1. She said she wanted to stay friends and wasn't ready for another relationship.

2. She keeps dating these terrible guys but I'm so nice to her,

3. I tell her how beautiful she is every day,

 

4. I make her laugh when she's sad,

 

5. I listen to everything she has to say,

 

6. I bought her very expensive and nice Christmas and Birthday presents this year,

 

7. But she shows no interest.

 

8. I could show her not all guys are jerks.

 

 

I'm guessing you're young. Read what I'm about to say carefully, but do not let it make you bitter (that is very important).

 

#1 is a total lie. This is not a good sign for a relationship. She was ready, just not for you.

 

#2 Is very typical of young attractive women. Low self esteem leads to very bad decisions when girls select men they want to date. The lower the self esteem, the bigger the scumbags.

 

#3-6 really don't matter to a girl that you haven't hooked yet. It's too soon for that stuff. She will see you as a valuable friend, but not a romantic option.

 

#7 she shows you no interest because you are in the friends zone. You must get out immediately (see below for how).

 

#8 Yes, you can, but it's going to be much harder than the jerks have it.

 

This may sound difficult, but I cannot think of any other way you will have a shot at this girl. If you really care about her, this is the best way to do it.

 

Wait til' she breaks up with the loser (and she will). She will no doubt come crying to you and telling you how awful loser boyfriend number 209 is. This is when you tell her that after she has had time to get over him (give her a time frame of one or two weeks), you would like to take her on a date.

 

If she says no, tell her you need time away from her to clear your head and break all contact for awhile (it's likely you'll never be more than a friend). If she says yes, well, I certainly hope you know what to do next .

 

If she says no, at least you showed her that you are a man and not a doormat that lets girl wipe their feet on you. Get over her and move on if she says no. You deserve a girl that wants you as much as you want her.

[txsilkysmoothe]

Even if you were a brunette runner, she would not want to date you. She just doesn't feel the chemistry and there is nothing you can do to change that. Sorry

 

These kinds of relationships happen all the time and to people who are much older than you appear to be. That is why so many are giving you the same response. The likelihood that she will ever view you differently is extremely low.

 

Start making some new female friends. You will find one that is worthy of your attention.

[Ilovehim]

oh my. i have heard this story way too many times.

i knew a guy who was into his best friend for 10 years and she never saw him that way and another one who liked this girl for 6 years and she only saw him as her best friend.

 

please love yourself, respect yourself and get out of her life. no you cant be friends with someone u love. move on. believe me you will be SO happy! there are many many girls out there who are beautiful and whom u will find chemistry with who will like you back.