mem11363 Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 TDP, Sorry. I didn't mean to be so defensive. I have been in Kuala Lumpur all week - am sleep deprived and many, many time zones from home = cranky. I read my post again. I didn't mean to be harsh with the OP. And in general I don't mean to be harsh. and you certainly have many good, strong important advice. There are many hear who do need to listen and implement some of what you say. I am sure the OP here definitely needed a kick in the butt. He has what he considered a great wife, very open communication about sex and has had the tap turned off very early in his life and then when confronted with advice, most of which questioned his "wifes" indifference got mad and ran. In this case I agreed with you that he certainly had to take a more "alpha" role and not accept it. Apologies if you took my "fun jab" the wrong way.
FryFish Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 I had an ex who thought to turn the sex level down shortly into the relationship. She then got all offended at the fact that I actually masturbate and that I did so MORE when she was doing this whole "holding out" thing. I told her that it was not going to work for me and that if she wanted me to be her SO and not just a FWB that she would have to meet me somewhere near where I was. She also used the "excuse" that she had to be "turned on" to give me head. I explained that all she really had to do was open her mouth... and reminded her that I wasnt even about to go sexless... She got real kinky real quick. The R ended for other reasons that are just as serious.
FryFish Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 I explained such in response to being told to go without getting off. It wasnt a "demand" it was a negotiation. An HONEST negotiation. I dont play games and I dont date people who actively withhold sex and arent willing to bend. Its not like I didnt make compromises myself. I did lots of things I HATED doing in order to make her happy... lots of things that actually involve a lot more than just opening my mouth. I am not talking about Sexual things but "boyfriend in a serious relationship" things. From my experience, when a man and a woman enter a relationship they both must give in order to get... I gave time and devotion and heart and made real attempts to be what she wanted and make her happy... I expected that she give me things that make me happy in return. When she tried to withhold those things I let her know that I was going to withhold what she wanted(aka walk). I feel that that is a fair relationship... Much unlike what the OP has going on. His whole ordeal is just sad.
Tiny220 Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 Ya she does, but she is NEVER going to find a guy that is totally cool with only have sex 3-4 times per year... 3-4 times a year would be 4-5 times more than I get any,, you should feel lucky,,, sorry I couldn't resist,, but it's the truth.
ella23 Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 Ya she does, but she is NEVER going to find a guy that is totally cool with only have sex 3-4 times per year... Unless maybe if you're with someone who's asexual.
FryFish Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 Tiny your story is sad too. It sucks that your wife gave up on herself. And ella, good luck finding an asexual guy.
ella23 Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 And ella, good luck finding an asexual guy. There are people like that. Very few, but they're there.
Recommended Posts