ChrissyTimpson Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 A 7 year age difference isn't necessarily a big deal when it comes to relationships. I tend to move in an older crowd; I don't have many friends who are aren't in University or older. So I tend to have difficulty in meeting people my own age. I'm a senior in High School (17), and I'm interested in someone who's in university. He's 23. I don't really know how to explain this, but say you're 25 and you're dating someone seven years older than yourself, then the age difference wouldn't necessarily mean the same thing as it does as my age. Would you say this is correct? When we're around each other, I don't feel the age gap, and I'm sure that he doesn't as well. We aren't dating, and he hasn't made any actual advances, but I was wondering if it's just because he feels like he "shouldn't". We have a lot in common and I really enjoy being around him, and I've never been interested in people my own age; I'd like to think that I'm very mature for my age. Should I just try to keep it platonic and not make any advances myself? Thanks Christine
sharkhunter Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 Here is the correct age difference formula : Half his age plus seven. So, he is 34, divide that in two, = 17. add seven to that = 24. He should not be dating any girl younger than 24
Author ChrissyTimpson Posted January 24, 2010 Author Posted January 24, 2010 I was just wondering if it would be odd for him and myself to date someone with that age difference. I know a lot of his friends very well, and we get along great. I just didn't know if it would be socially awkward for any of us.
sharkhunter Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 (edited) hell no! if you like him go for it! This kind of stuff is insignificant Have FUN with your life if you like him then DO IT NEVER be afraid to take a risk! Edited January 24, 2010 by sharkhunter
meerkat stew Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 Yes, it will be socially awkward for everyone you are around, especially parents. If he were still college age, maybe, but there's stigma attached to men older than college age dating high school women. It's not impossible to overcome, but will almost certainly be awkward in many instances. Rent and watch "Pineapple Express" for a humorous treatment of some of the issues.
tami-chan Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 When I was 17, I dated a guy almost 10 years older than I was. My parents were up in arms and planned to send me to the "old country" if I didn't stop seeing him! I was upset because I was not even sexually active with my bf!!!! I was being a good girl. I thought THAT was what they were worried about. Rebellious, I eloped and found out....at 18 marrying a guy who was almost 30 years old was a steep climb to harmony....In fact, the marriage did not last. You should date guys your age because the expectations of a guy 10 years your senior is probably not something you will be prepared to meet not because you won't be willing to but because you just do not have the experience/s to. As you grow older, you will find that the "age-gap" narrows.
Author ChrissyTimpson Posted January 24, 2010 Author Posted January 24, 2010 That's the thing. I have no false expectations from this. I'm not the one to think: "We're so in love, and one day we'll get married etc..." And guys my age are well, children in my eyes. I know it's odd, but that's that way they act. I wouldn't considered dating someone my age, because I know how they are. They only want one thing (I think that we all know what that is), and they pretend like it isn't so. They're also highly immature, and I can't put up with that. I'm by no means trying to say that the older guys that I hang out with aren't interested in the same thing as the guys my age are, but it's different and I actually have respect for them, unlike the people my age.
SOLACEMENT Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 Yep... older guys just know how to do that thing that all guys want...HAHA that is a lie!! But, umm when are you turning 18? I think you should wait until you are out of highschool atleast..imho
Vintage79 Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 Not to mention the whole statutory rape thing...might explain why the guy hasn't done a darn thing...if I was in his situation, I would have an exceedingly strict, no one under 18 can ride this ride policy.
BobSacamento Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 If you honestly think a guy at the age of 25 is any better than a guy at 17 then you are foolish. If anything, chances are they are worse. They have way more experience than you do, they will use it to their advantage.
SoulSearch_CO Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 I say wait until you're legal - then hit on him. It's possible the "legal" thing is hanging him up, OR the age gap. No way to know for sure. I'd almost be tempted ask him if he'd ever consider dating someone younger. Guys aren't totally stupid. I think he'd start thinking, "Why did she ask that" and if he has been contemplating you AT ALL, he will realize you have considered it, too.
txsilkysmoothe Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 I say wait until you're legal - then hit on him. It's possible the "legal" thing is hanging him up, OR the age gap. No way to know for sure. I'd almost be tempted ask him if he'd ever consider dating someone younger. Guys aren't totally stupid. I think he'd start thinking, "Why did she ask that" and if he has been contemplating you AT ALL, he will realize you have considered it, too. I agree with SoulSearch_CO about the legal aspect. In some states having sex with a 17 yo if you are over 18 (or some other set age) is a chargeable offense. I'm not saying you two would have sex but it is something he could be thinking about - just the threat of being accused by a parent who disapproved of the relationship is enough to scare a guy off. I think you need to look for other signs that he views you as a potential partner before you make any advance. Because of your age, he may not even think of you in those terms.
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