answers_please Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 I posted this yesterday in breakups, but thought afterwards that this was a more appropriate sub-forum due to it involving an affair. Great to receive any feedback, especially from the ladies... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t218499/
bentnotbroken Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 Seems like if you lost them both(which you can't lose what you never had) sometime life does hand us what we deserve.
bittersweet memories Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 I posted this yesterday in breakups, but thought afterwards that this was a more appropriate sub-forum due to it involving an affair. Great to receive any feedback, especially from the ladies... www.loveshack.org/forums/t218499/ Follow your heart and leave and be alone for awhile. Do some soul searching and see where life leads you.
delirious Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 Go get your AP, what have you got to lose. Show her how much you want her, and don't ever be able to say that you have not tried everything. Good luck. Geez what is it with men, they love someone like they have never done before and give up
realworldexplorer Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 I would really recommend that you pursue your AP, you seem like soulmates and really deserve to be together.
NoIDidn't Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 I think you make too big a deal of the astrological signs you all fall under. Born on a cusp?
Author answers_please Posted February 2, 2010 Author Posted February 2, 2010 Go get your AP, what have you got to lose. Show her how much you want her, and don't ever be able to say that you have not tried everything. Good luck. Geez what is it with men, they love someone like they have never done before and give up I would really recommend that you pursue your AP, you seem like soulmates and really deserve to be together. Guys, I so want to. However this is one feisty woman who actually pursued me in the first place for a long time, frequently being politely declined by me until I suddenly saw she was amazing, so she isn't your typical 'likes being chased' female.... I don't work at the same place now and she lives 150 miles away. Contact is not what it was! I'm sure she would enjoy the attention again and she did tell me her favourite scene ever, was Richard Gere coming back into the factory to collect Debra Winger in that White Uniform - LOL However, she e-mailed me just prior to NC - to hurt / punish me I think, saying that she was going on a first date with someone and she had got the situation with her husband under control i.e. she would happily be friends but nothing more. She saw this as her moving on - and so do I I wrote back and said it was great that things are working out for her and that I was pleased after all the upset, misunderstandings and pain that there was a happy ending for her. Nothing since. I sense a lot of lingering resentment because it didn't all happen in her timescales - Petulance if you ask me as she did have exactly the same options as me, but was far more concerned about her husband's reaction - or was that just a clever manipulation to make me go first? I don't know. I think I'm best staying NC and seeing if that resentment turns to realising the grass isn't greener - what say you? I have decided that I definitely need to leave my g/f though - she deserves much, much better than what I can offer now or even when I'm completely straightened out.
on1wheel Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 I do not mean to be cruel, but you in no way deserve your gf. An affair is a horrible way to find what you felt you were missing. You should have been honest with your gf when you realized you had feelings for the OW...before it became physical. Your gf then could have decided to make the changes she has made for you now or to let you go & find someone better suited to her. Then you would not be in this mess; possibly going to hurt her even more by saying "appreciate your effort, but you're still not what I want". I guarentee she was crushed by your affair, (I lived through it & suffer still even after 750+ days since D-day) so how do you think she'll feel when she's told she's still not gonna make you happy. Just let her go, so she can take her new confidence & sexual adventuress attitude & find another man. That's just my 2 cents worth. Cheers
Author answers_please Posted February 17, 2010 Author Posted February 17, 2010 I do not mean to be cruel, but you in no way deserve your gf. An affair is a horrible way to find what you felt you were missing. You should have been honest with your gf when you realized you had feelings for the OW...before it became physical. Your gf then could have decided to make the changes she has made for you now or to let you go & find someone better suited to her. Then you would not be in this mess; possibly going to hurt her even more by saying "appreciate your effort, but you're still not what I want". I guarentee she was crushed by your affair, (I lived through it & suffer still even after 750+ days since D-day) so how do you think she'll feel when she's told she's still not gonna make you happy. Just let her go, so she can take her new confidence & sexual adventuress attitude & find another man. That's just my 2 cents worth. Cheers Hey on1wheel, thanks for posting and I do agree, it's so easy of course with hindsight. I have had the conversation about separating at least twice since I posted, but at the moment she is adamant that she doesn't want this. I think I am going to have to push it as long term I just know it's better for her - and although not as importantly, me. Thanks
MARINE_ONE Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 Seems like if you lost them both(which you can't lose what you never had) sometime life does hand us what we deserve. Luv ur signature.
Recommended Posts