silverplanets Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 OK, so i'm fed up with NC .. fed up with it because it implies that my life is somehow related to what I do in relation to her... I'm 4 months in now (there have been v long periods in the past, eg 5 years etc) but the difference this time is that I really meant that I didn't want to see her unless she had papers in hand. NC at first was to keep her away from me, a protection and to allow me to grieve, vent my anger (did a lot of that) and generally walk about in a haze (did a LOT of that !!!) Then it was about doing activities (such as the gym etc) to keep my mind off how i was feeling and also because it seemed important to start acting like things were ok. Lately my anger energy has began to run out and I am faced not with doing things because I need to keep myself busy but doing things because I actually want to do them etc So I want to move on from NC being the aim to NC being just a given within a new aim ... I've called this new phase LML for Living My Life ... Just wondered if anyone had any better name for it ... ??? Be well Chris
Fallen Angel Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 OK, so i'm fed up with NC .. fed up with it because it implies that my life is somehow related to what I do in relation to her... I'm 4 months in now (there have been v long periods in the past, eg 5 years etc) but the difference this time is that I really meant that I didn't want to see her unless she had papers in hand. NC at first was to keep her away from me, a protection and to allow me to grieve, vent my anger (did a lot of that) and generally walk about in a haze (did a LOT of that !!!) Then it was about doing activities (such as the gym etc) to keep my mind off how i was feeling and also because it seemed important to start acting like things were ok. Lately my anger energy has began to run out and I am faced not with doing things because I need to keep myself busy but doing things because I actually want to do them etc So I want to move on from NC being the aim to NC being just a given within a new aim ... I've called this new phase LML for Living My Life ... Just wondered if anyone had any better name for it ... ??? Be well Chris I think that is a wonderful name for it... I am happy you have reached it!!! ((hugs to you hun!!))
fooled once Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 OK, so i'm fed up with NC .. fed up with it because it implies that my life is somehow related to what I do in relation to her... I'm 4 months in now (there have been v long periods in the past, eg 5 years etc) but the difference this time is that I really meant that I didn't want to see her unless she had papers in hand. NC at first was to keep her away from me, a protection and to allow me to grieve, vent my anger (did a lot of that) and generally walk about in a haze (did a LOT of that !!!) Then it was about doing activities (such as the gym etc) to keep my mind off how i was feeling and also because it seemed important to start acting like things were ok. Lately my anger energy has began to run out and I am faced not with doing things because I need to keep myself busy but doing things because I actually want to do them etc So I want to move on from NC being the aim to NC being just a given within a new aim ... I've called this new phase LML for Living My Life ... Just wondered if anyone had any better name for it ... ??? Be well Chris I like your name!! Good job Chris!!
Crazyforhim Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 You've come a long way and it sounds like you're heading in the right direction! BTW? I love the name as well! Maybe I can find that in 2010 as well and quit focusing my life quite so much around MM. ((Hugs)) and best of luck!!
ladydesigner Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 LML for Living My Life Yay for the LML:laugh: I am livin' it too!!!!
crystal_lostheart Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 LML- love it!! Hope I get there very soon. Well done and best of luck
pureinheart Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 OK, so i'm fed up with NC .. fed up with it because it implies that my life is somehow related to what I do in relation to her... I'm 4 months in now (there have been v long periods in the past, eg 5 years etc) but the difference this time is that I really meant that I didn't want to see her unless she had papers in hand. NC at first was to keep her away from me, a protection and to allow me to grieve, vent my anger (did a lot of that) and generally walk about in a haze (did a LOT of that !!!) Then it was about doing activities (such as the gym etc) to keep my mind off how i was feeling and also because it seemed important to start acting like things were ok. Lately my anger energy has began to run out and I am faced not with doing things because I need to keep myself busy but doing things because I actually want to do them etc So I want to move on from NC being the aim to NC being just a given within a new aim ... I've called this new phase LML for Living My Life ... Just wondered if anyone had any better name for it ... ??? Be well Chris Hey Chris, It is not easy....no LML is perfect, in fact it should be a way of life in or out of a R. Thank you so much for all of your insight! (((((((huggggs))))))
Author silverplanets Posted January 24, 2010 Author Posted January 24, 2010 thanks guys ... what I want to do now is just let go of her completely .. utterly .. and move on .... up to now I thought I needed to keep the memories etc and work it all out ... now (and finding this forum has helped) i've just realised that I can laugh at myself about it and hopefully drop it all to one side and just get on and enjoy the time I have left on this planet :)
pureinheart Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 thanks guys ... what I want to do now is just let go of her completely .. utterly .. and move on .... up to now I thought I needed to keep the memories etc and work it all out ... now (and finding this forum has helped) i've just realised that I can laugh at myself about it and hopefully drop it all to one side and just get on and enjoy the time I have left on this planet :) You know what...my daughter got into a car accident the other day with 2 of my grandchildren....life is short, everyone is fine....although life is too short to mess with small stuff and you know that saying....it's ALL small stuff! It seems as if once we let it go, everything begins to work itself out. That is why I do not like spying on people, getting up in their business spouse or not. Not my problem, you know... 2007 was the year of transition, the perfection: 2008 was new beginnings: 2009 was the end of a matter: 2010 is double blessing...time to have fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Chris, I speak nothing but happiness and joy over you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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