tami-chan Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 I have read some posts from OWs who asked if they should tell the BSs about the affair or not. I have always said...MOTIVE is important. Check this site out. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/35014860/?gt1=43001
Spark1111 Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 Tami...the billboards were put up by the jilted OW according to rumors in the press. His OW lives on the west coast. His wife and child live in NYC. The wife filed for divorce in 2008....but nothing happened. It did not proceed, presumably because he talked the BS out of it. He has been with his OW for 8.5 years. Maybe he just broke up with her? She also posted a web site that shows all their trips and romance. It keeps crashing and has since been taken down. I feel badly for her to have invested 8.5 years waiting for a man who just publicly thanked his wife. I feel badly for the wife and young son, especially since the billboards were meant to humiliate him, but wow....that poor wife and child....just....wow.
Author tami-chan Posted January 23, 2010 Author Posted January 23, 2010 Tami...the billboards were put up by the jilted OW according to rumors in the press. His OW lives on the west coast. His wife and child live in NYC. The wife filed for divorce in 2008....but nothing happened. It did not proceed, presumably because he talked the BS out of it. He has been with his OW for 8.5 years. Maybe he just broke up with her? She also posted a web site that shows all their trips and romance. It keeps crashing and has since been taken down. I feel badly for her to have invested 8.5 years waiting for a man who just publicly thanked his wife. I feel badly for the wife and young son, especially since the billboards were meant to humiliate him, but wow....that poor wife and child....just....wow. I know. I read the story. I am just sharing this...obviously, she is a jilted OW. Well, I feel bad for both women...the MM's love notes( and a lot of pictures of MM and OW )are available on the net for public consumption. Well, at least the wife is divorcing him.
mybrowneyedgirl Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 I wonder what the point in this was? To hurt the wife? To humiliate him? Obviously she didnt love him because she never would have done something like this. Or maybe theres more to this story. I dont know. I have to admit that with the anger sometimes I would love to find a way just to stick it to him and make him suffer some consequences for what hes done (as hes the only one getting off scott free). But gosh, I would never consider something so drastic, and even if I did I wouldnt have the guts to go through with it!
carhill Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 That's what I call equal opportunity. Hope double dipping for 8.5 was worth it.
Fallen Angel Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 I wonder what the point in this was? To hurt the wife? To humiliate him? Obviously she didnt love him because she never would have done something like this. Or maybe theres more to this story. I dont know. I have to admit that with the anger sometimes I would love to find a way just to stick it to him and make him suffer some consequences for what hes done (as hes the only one getting off scott free). But gosh, I would never consider something so drastic, and even if I did I wouldnt have the guts to go through with it! If I ever get pissed enough to out My MM publicly, I will do it in style like she did... only red-neck style.. I will make posters on poster board with neon finger paints and line his street with them like political yard signs..and I would make flyers and put one under the windshield of every vehicle in a ten block radius of his house.. lmao.. with my website addy.. hmm.. what will i call it.. www.fallenangelandanassclown.com at which I would post all the pictures I have of us together (not to mention the umm.. personal ones) all the emails, instant messages and texts he has ever sent me.. lmao.... Yeah, My MM is lucky I am not a crazy, stalking, bunny boiler.. cause if I was... his life could be hell on earth... Let me go on record saying I would never really do those things, i am making a joke..maybe :lmao:
Author tami-chan Posted January 24, 2010 Author Posted January 24, 2010 LOL!!! "redneck style"!!!! funny , fallen angel!
White Flower Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 I couldn't see myself doing this but I can understand wanting the validation of the R. He tells you how much he loves you, wants to be with you, wants to be a part of your children's lives, prays for you and your children every night, and when she discovers your existance in his life it all flies out the window. You're crushed, can't breath or function in any way and he goes on with his merry life. They go out, have fun, have sex, and party and the OW can't even walk it's so bad. You just don't want the W to believe the lies he is telling her. The billboard...I can relate to it even if I could never do it.
fooled once Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 I wonder what the point in this was? To hurt the wife? To humiliate him? Obviously she didnt love him because she never would have done something like this. Or maybe theres more to this story. I dont know. I have to admit that with the anger sometimes I would love to find a way just to stick it to him and make him suffer some consequences for what hes done (as hes the only one getting off scott free). But gosh, I would never consider something so drastic, and even if I did I wouldnt have the guts to go through with it! Why do you assume she didn't love him? She invested 8.5 years of her life. She probably loved him dearly but after the affair ended, WHY does she need to protect him? She is probably incredibly hurt by investing all that time, being lied to only for him to 'dump her' for his wife. MBEG, you aren't anywhere near angry, IMHO. You are still in contact, still contemplating being with the OM, so obviously you aren't angry enough at him throwing you under the bus. This woman HAD the guts and I applaud her for doing it. These cheating MM SHOULD have to face consequences not only for hurting his wife but also for leading this woman on (presumably).
Author tami-chan Posted January 24, 2010 Author Posted January 24, 2010 Why do you assume she didn't love him? She invested 8.5 years of her life. She probably loved him dearly but after the affair ended, WHY does she need to protect him? She is probably incredibly hurt by investing all that time, being lied to only for him to 'dump her' for his wife. MBEG, you aren't anywhere near angry, IMHO. You are still in contact, still contemplating being with the OM, so obviously you aren't angry enough at him throwing you under the bus. This woman HAD the guts and I applaud her for doing it. These cheating MM SHOULD have to face consequences not only for hurting his wife but also for leading this woman on (presumably). So you don't care that what this xOW did was very humiliating to the BS? is it not enough that she most likely knew of the affair and thus has filed for divorce? all in the name of "punishing the MM"? Wow, disturbing. There are no absolute guarantees in love....it is a volatile emotion. This MM probably DID love the OW... as he did his wife.... what is the OW all angry about? If she was promised some things, so was the wife.
RedDevil66 Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 I've said this many times, there is no rules when it comes to affairs. There is no common sense and no morals. All is fair in love and war right?@ It's not right, it's not rational, but affairs are not right or rational. If you're going to mess around with a married guy, expect to be hurt and used.
Got it Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 I wonder what the point in this was? To hurt the wife? To humiliate him? Obviously she didnt love him because she never would have done something like this. Or maybe theres more to this story. I dont know. I have to admit that with the anger sometimes I would love to find a way just to stick it to him and make him suffer some consequences for what hes done (as hes the only one getting off scott free). But gosh, I would never consider something so drastic, and even if I did I wouldnt have the guts to go through with it! I do not think one can say because she did this that she did not love him. There are many who react quite drastically when they are jilted, with or without it tied to an affair. The heart and ego are tighted heavily together and the mix can cause some expressive "expressions".
Got it Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 So you don't care that what this xOW did was very humiliating to the BS? is it not enough that she most likely knew of the affair and thus has filed for divorce? all in the name of "punishing the MM"? Wow, disturbing. There are no absolute guarantees in love....it is a volatile emotion. This MM probably DID love the OW... as he did his wife.... what is the OW all angry about? If she was promised some things, so was the wife. What she did was geared to him and their relationship, not the BS. What HE was doing was humilating to all parties. What she did was against what HE was doing. He was wrong to lead any party on and he was the catalyst for what she did. She does hold responsibility in it, absolutely, and I imagine she will kick herself on it. But maybe not. I think, in regards to the BS, having your husband leading you on for almost a decade is the most insulting thing. Why would she put up with it?
bentnotbroken Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 What she did was geared to him and their relationship, not the BS. What HE was doing was humilating to all parties. What she did was against what HE was doing. He was wrong to lead any party on and he was the catalyst for what she did. She does hold responsibility in it, absolutely, and I imagine she will kick herself on it. But maybe not. I think, in regards to the BS, having your husband leading you on for almost a decade is the most insulting thing. Why would she put up with it? Same reason ow would...they don't want to walk away.
OWoman Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 I've said this many times, there is no rules when it comes to affairs. There is no common sense and no morals. All is fair in love and war right?@ It's not right, it's not rational, but affairs are not right or rational. If you're going to mess around with a married guy, expect to be hurt and used. I've never been hurt or used, but then, I wouldn't call what I did with MMs "messing around" - that sounds so high school. My As were perfectly rational, involved great deals of common sense and were perfectly consistent with my moral framework (and possibly those of the MMs I involved myself with). Just because my morals differ from reactionary rightwing views held in certain conservative quarters of the US, doesn't mean they don't exist or are not equally valid. (I'd argue that they were more valid, since they lead to greater degrees of happiness for greater numbers of people , but I'm educated and open-minded enough to recognise that cultural bigotry is backward rather than progressive ) I don't know who any of these people are or what the backstory was, but this woman must have felt really hurt to have resorted to something so tacky which would damage her reputation for life. Unless you're a talkshow host or a tabloid journalist where different norms apply, airing your private life like that just smacks of classlessness and desperation. Who will ever take her seriously again? The same way Monica Lewinsky will never be able to shake off her rep as the BJ Queen of the Oral Office, this woman will forever be known as the billboard bimbo. Poor thing.... She should have thought it through. What's the point in trying to sink someone if you're going to take yourself down as collateral damage in the process?
RedDevil66 Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 I've never been hurt or used, but then, I wouldn't call what I did with MMs "messing around" - that sounds so high school. My As were perfectly rational, involved great deals of common sense and were perfectly consistent with my moral framework (and possibly those of the MMs I involved myself with). Just because my morals differ from reactionary rightwing views held in certain conservative quarters of the US, doesn't mean they don't exist or are not equally valid. (I'd argue that they were more valid, since they lead to greater degrees of happiness for greater numbers of people , but I'm educated and open-minded enough to recognise that cultural bigotry is backward rather than progressive ) I don't know who any of these people are or what the backstory was, but this woman must have felt really hurt to have resorted to something so tacky which would damage her reputation for life. Unless you're a talkshow host or a tabloid journalist where different norms apply, airing your private life like that just smacks of classlessness and desperation. Who will ever take her seriously again? The same way Monica Lewinsky will never be able to shake off her rep as the BJ Queen of the Oral Office, this woman will forever be known as the billboard bimbo. Poor thing.... She should have thought it through. What's the point in trying to sink someone if you're going to take yourself down as collateral damage in the process? It's quite often you need to comment on my posts with long and drawn out explainations of your actions. First off, my comment are not all about you and second, having to always explain yourself says a lot You're right, everyone has their own set of morals. One's that follow a higher moral human code and well, all the rest
Author tami-chan Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 What she did was geared to him and their relationship, not the BS. What HE was doing was humilating to all parties. What she did was against what HE was doing. Except that...it not only made him look bad ....it made HER look worse. I think, in regards to the BS, having your husband leading you on for almost a decade is the most insulting thing. Why would she put up with it? Who knows? Maybe because they have kids? Maybe because it was better to be remain married to a rich, powerful guy than be divorced from him? ....but anyway, water under the bridge....they are divorcing and he opted NOT to marry the OW.
silktricks Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 (edited) You're crushed, can't breath or function in any way and he goes on with his merry life. They go out, have fun, have sex, and party and the OW can't even walk it's so bad. You just don't want the W to believe the lies he is telling her. The billboard...I can relate to it even if I could never do it. You are making tremendous assumptions. Because they stay married (in some cases) does NOT mean any of the above. I doesn't mean that everything is merry for either of them. Doesn't mean they are having fun (though they probably are having sex). And doesn't actually mean he is lying either. This is the picture most OW believe, but it isn't the truth. Just as the picture that most BS believe (that it was nothing, that she was a soul-stealing vulture , that he never loved the OW) is the truth. The truth lies somewhere in the middle for most cases. (I except the serial cheater - though even they probably fall in love sometimes...) But --- back on topic. It seems to me that the OW isn't exactly the brightest bulb in the closet. First, she (apparently) believes for 8+ YEARS that this guy is going to leave his wife for her. And then when she doesn't get what she wants, she attempts to level his life - but in the process pretty much shatters her own reputation. I feel bad for her at many levels, but really - that's a bit over the top. Edited January 25, 2010 by silktricks
NoIDidn't Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Check this link: http://www.weeklyblitz.net/454/yavaughnie-wilkins-in-trouble In it she says: "Men need to be cognizant of the devastating penalties for making the mistake of loving a woman and at some point changing his [sic] mind," Wilkins, a then-San Francisco State University journalism student, wrote in 2004. It made me LOL, because by her actions the man can't change his mind about loving his OW. She blasted him for going back to his W. "In defense of men, there should be a law that prevents them from marrying before taking a class and passing tests that they understands [sic] that 'till death do us part' and 'as long as we both shall live' is more often than not, a delusion." The link says that the quote was from 2004. That it was a passionate plea warning men of the perils of *matrimony*. It should have been a warning to men about bunny boilers, be the man married or otherwise. She basically wrote an essay to say that "men always marry the wrong woman first", that she was the better woman. And when he went back to that lesser woman he had the misfortune of marrying, she freaked. Sorry, no sympathy here. They both made their bed. But he's not the one that comes off delusional by paying for expensive billboards across the country.
herenow Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 I am a fan of the BW knowing the truth. If the only way for the BW to know that her H is having an affair is by the OW telling her, then so be it. I think that every BW should have the chance to make decisions in her own life based on the truth. JMO I would assume that this is an extreme case and most OW's don't buy ad space.
Author tami-chan Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 I am a fan of the BW knowing the truth. If the only way for the BW to know that her H is having an affair is by the OW telling her, then so be it. I think that every BW should have the chance to make decisions in her own life based on the truth. JMO I would assume that this is an extreme case and most OW's don't buy ad space. Tell us your bottom line...you think the xOW in this case, was right in "broadcasting" their affair? I guess, the end justified the means?
NoIDidn't Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 I am a fan of the BW knowing the truth. If the only way for the BW to know that her H is having an affair is by the OW telling her, then so be it. I think that every BW should have the chance to make decisions in her own life based on the truth. JMO I would assume that this is an extreme case and most OW's don't buy ad space. I don't mind telling the BW. But this woman told the US. I think she made a fool of herself. He will get to say that he made a 9-year mistake with a crazy woman after this. This is not what telling is supposed to look like.
herenow Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Tell us your bottom line...you think the xOW in this case, was right in "broadcasting" their affair? I guess, the end justified the means? No, I don't think any of what went on was "right". I think the xOW went to unnecessary extremes. That is why I say this is an extreme case (see previous post).
herenow Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 I don't mind telling the BW. But this woman told the US. I think she made a fool of herself. He will get to say that he made a 9-year mistake with a crazy woman after this. This is not what telling is supposed to look like. Oh, I agree. Again, she went to extremes. It also seems like the BW already knew. Is that not correct?
Got it Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 Except that...it not only made him look bad ....it made HER look worse. Who knows? Maybe because they have kids? Maybe because it was better to be remain married to a rich, powerful guy than be divorced from him? ....but anyway, water under the bridge....they are divorcing and he opted NOT to marry the OW. Okay . . . if it is water under the bridge why even discuss it? How does it make her look worse? I find that surprising because if it had been the BW people would be cheering.
Recommended Posts