Hot Carl Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 Something someone said in another thread got me thinking, and I wonder what others' opinions are on this. Do you think nice guys are at a disadvantage in the dating world?
Author Hot Carl Posted January 23, 2010 Author Posted January 23, 2010 I knew it. They are hopeless. The only solution is to not be so nice.
Jesper Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 Something someone said in another thread got me thinking, and I wonder what others' opinions are on this. Do you think nice guys are at a disadvantage in the dating world? Falling in love is a debilitating experience. Everyone is at a disadvantage in the dating world.
PinkToes Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 Doormats are at a disadvantage in the dating world. Nice guys with a fully intact spine who are dissed for being nice guys are hanging out with the wrong women.
alphamale Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 Doormats are at a disadvantage in the dating world. Nice guys with a fully intact spine who are dissed for being nice guys are hanging out with the wrong women. doormat = nice guy
sharkhunter Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 I knew it. They are hopeless. The only solution is to not be so nice. Exactly right my friend And Alpha is right on the money : Nice guy = doormat
Author Hot Carl Posted January 23, 2010 Author Posted January 23, 2010 It just doesn't make any sense. I would think being nice is what women really want from a guy. I was raised to believe that mean is bad.
sharkhunter Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 It just doesn't make any sense. I would think being nice is what women really want from a guy. I was raised to believe that mean is bad. I'm not saying be "mean", chicks just dont like wimpy, unassertive guys (just like the last post said). But they really don't like "nice Guys" either. By that I mean being clingy, over-possessive, sweet, caring, calls her everyday, feels the need to be with her constantly etc...
shadowplay Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 You know what, you make a good point. I never really thought about this but now that you mention it, I believe you're right.
AD1980 Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 Anyone who doesnt want a "nice" guy isnt that sane to begin with and by nice i mean sweet caring kind everything a human being should be not overly passive or a doormat.. Its about looks,no hot guy is gonna be passed over becasue hes too nice.. Allot of ugly guys proably convince themslves they cant get a women because theyre too nice and women are crazy when the fact of the matter is most women just arent attracted to them on a physical level.. Im a really nice sweet guy and have been told so but that isnt the reaosn i cant get women its becasue iam not attractive.. Being nice doesnt all of a sudden make you physically attratciv to soemobdy it just gets you in the friend zone and thats where nice ugly guys get confused insetad of looking in the mirror they think being nice is why they were rejected..
carhill Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 Do you think nice guys are at a disadvantage in the dating world? Yes, and the really cool thing is I don't care any more
tkgirl Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 Something someone said in another thread got me thinking, and I wonder what others' opinions are on this. Do you think nice guys are at a disadvantage in the dating world? really? are we going to go there again? geesh.. must be a slow day here on LS.
PinkToes Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 doormat = nice guy Not in my universe. And I'll bet most women can tell you the difference. Some women will refer to a doormat as "too nice" because they think it's a kinder description of someone they're not interested in. Usually that means he's a doormat and totally passive in his dealings with women; definitely not a good thing. I've dated both nice guys and doormats. You want specifics? Because I don't believe this issue has been beaten to death quite yet.
carhill Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 You want specifics? Yes; I'm dating again and need flagellation
PinkToes Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 Yes; I'm dating again and need flagellation You seem like a really nice guy, and I like you. And I'm not kidding. I'm glad you're getting out there again. But since you asked, here's what not to do, on a date: Ask where she'd like to go, and then ask several times if she's sure that's what she really wants. Then when you're at the restaurant, ask her several more times whether it's good enough, and would she rather go somewhere else. Then watch her face for the tiniest little hint of something other than bliss, and say, "What's wrong? You made a face. Is everything OK?" Then when you take her home, ask her again whether she really did have a nice time, or whether she's just saying that. Then the next time you talk, and she asks what you'd like to do when you see each other again, tell her you only want to do what she wants to do. If she presses you, make it really apparent that you have no idea, because you've totally lost touch with your needs. And besides, her happiness is all that matters. Then, after she cancels on you at the last minute because she decided she'd rather hang out with a girlfriend, send her flowers to make sure she isn't upset with you. This should get you through the first week. After that, you're on your own.
carhill Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 Thanks for that. After the great time I had on the date today, I need some reminders of who I once was Seriously.
betamanlet Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 I knew it. They are hopeless. The only solution is to not be so nice. No. The Solution is to not care so much. The difference between alphas and betas is that alphas have options. They realize that the girl they are interested in is not their last chance. They don't care too much about the outcome. Whereas for betas, each women I think is my last chance, so if I lose out, I become miserable. The problem is to believe you have options, and for that belief to be realistic and based in reason. If you knew "there are plenty of fish in the sea" you won't care so much for the outcome ina particular case. The problem is having the options, which I don't.
sharkhunter Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 You seem like a really nice guy, and I like you. And I'm not kidding. I'm glad you're getting out there again. But since you asked, here's what not to do, on a date: Ask where she'd like to go, and then ask several times if she's sure that's what she really wants. Then when you're at the restaurant, ask her several more times whether it's good enough, and would she rather go somewhere else. Then watch her face for the tiniest little hint of something other than bliss, and say, "What's wrong? You made a face. Is everything OK?" Then when you take her home, ask her again whether she really did have a nice time, or whether she's just saying that. Then the next time you talk, and she asks what you'd like to do when you see each other again, tell her you only want to do what she wants to do. If she presses you, make it really apparent that you have no idea, because you've totally lost touch with your needs. And besides, her happiness is all that matters. Then, after she cancels on you at the last minute because she decided she'd rather hang out with a girlfriend, send her flowers to make sure she isn't upset with you. This should get you through the first week. After that, you're on your own. lmao! that's reALLY FUNNY
OnlyJake Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 (edited) Its about looks,no hot guy is gonna be passed over becasue hes too nice.. I know that you have serious self-esteem issues, so this will mean nothing. I almost don't believe this myself, but I once dated a ridiculously good looking guy, and dumped him solely because he was "too nice". Edited January 24, 2010 by OnlyJake
carhill Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 The Solution is to not care so much. An appropriate level of caring. A healthy level of caring. The realization that the only limitation to one's options is oneself. Betraying one's essential self is not required nor healthy. Express it in the appropriate manner for the circumstance.
meerkat stew Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 OP, didn't you make this same thread a couple weeks back?
USMCHokie Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 I know that you have serious self-esteem issues, so this will mean nothing. I almost don't believe this myself, but I once dated a ridiculously good looking guy, and dumped him solely because he was "too nice". This didn't necessarily disprove his theory... The one thing that a lot of the LS betas are correct about is that looks do matter...A LOT...but PRIMARILY to get your foot in the door...after that, you have to actually possess the rest of the package in order to stay in the house... So in your case, the ridiculously good looking guy was not passed up at all. He just didn't have staying power.
Payden Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 I don't think girls like the..."Make me puke with all the sugar you throw at me" nice guys. Guys who will literally do everything for the girl...it makes them look needy and desperate. A nice fellow that "I" think girls like are ones that show respect..respect as in if the girl wants short hair, the guy isn't going to get all hell bent about it. "it's your hair, babe, do it if you want" A nice guy will also say.... "yes babe..you look great in that dress" even if she doesn't. So yes....the "overly desperate" nice guy is at a disadvantage//most girls don't want to feel helpless with the guy doing everything for them.
Recommended Posts