USMCHokie Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Wow Erica... you're really pretty. (this is where you de-facebook me and call me a creep) lol Hahahahahahah. I second your observation. Luckily I don't have Facebook, so she can't unfriend me. How 'bout them apples.
now_what Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Well, I know 100% that he won't ever contact me on Valentine's day again, so if he did, I would tell him to f*** off.
DiscoChick Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Would never happen. We didn't celebrate it, and he doesn't celebrate anything that doesn't revolve around him. We would have a rather pleasant conversation if he did contact me. I don't hate him or anything.
counterman Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 I'm sure my ex will be celebrating with some other guy. But, if she did contact me, I would ignore it.
EricaH329 Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Wow Erica... you're really pretty. (this is where you de-facebook me and call me a creep) lol Thanks!!! I'm not going to unfriend you! I would never! Hahahahahahah. I second your observation. Luckily I don't have Facebook, so she can't unfriend me. How 'bout them apples. I wouldn't unfriend you either Kelvin!
Author bananaboat11 Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 Ok.. now this is cocky of me... my friend told me I'm an 8-9 again in looks, but he way I'm carrying myself b/c I'm still reflecting introspectively post-break up.. makes me a 6.5-7 BUT I am better than immediately after my breakup. interesting. this is my best friend telling me that... http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v56/Lord_Dante/n1242630089_1731.jpg i'll take it for what it's worth
USMCHokie Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Ok.. now this is cocky of me... my friend told me I'm an 8-9 again in looks, but he way I'm carrying myself b/c I'm still reflecting introspectively post-break up.. makes me a 6.5-7 BUT I am better than immediately after my breakup. interesting. this is my best friend telling me that... http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v56/Lord_Dante/n1242630089_1731.jpg i'll take it for what it's worth You have an attractive best friend. And this just goes to show that a lot more goes to sexiness than just looks...it's the way you carry yourself...the way you walk, the way you talk, facial expressions, everything... And you have an attractive best friend.
Author bananaboat11 Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 sorry... that's conceited, cocky, and arrogant of me... these waves of emotion are ****ing with my confidence sometimes. i used to be so confident w/out the arrogance. ugh
Author bananaboat11 Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 You have an attractive best friend. And this just goes to show that a lot more goes to sexiness than just looks...it's the way you carry yourself...the way you walk, the way you talk, facial expressions, everything... And you have an attractive best friend. she thinks i'm handsome & sexy.. too bad we're best friends. heh. i told her to be honest with me.. when she said that I gave her 'the look'... and she said I am being honest with you rob. I told her I wouldn't be offended... ..the sad thing is.. this girl is outspoken & cares about looks/beauty/brains and loves beautiful people. so i guess that makes me feel a bit better. her roommates are hot too! i seriously need to grow the f up right now
EricaH329 Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Ok.. now this is cocky of me... my friend told me I'm an 8-9 again in looks, but he way I'm carrying myself b/c I'm still reflecting introspectively post-break up.. makes me a 6.5-7 BUT I am better than immediately after my breakup. interesting. this is my best friend telling me that... http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v56/Lord_Dante/n1242630089_1731.jpg i'll take it for what it's worth Rob, it doesn't matter if Jessica Simpson is telling you that you are hot sh*t (although i'm sure it'd be a great boost to your ego). If you don't feel like hot sh*t, then what does it matter? It sounds like you rely on other peoples opinions on yourself, more than your own opinion. Do you like the way you look? If not, then change something to suit your idea of what looks good. That's the only way you will ever truly feel content. You have a fantastic personality, and to be honest, if a female looks too much further passed that, then that's not the kind of girl you want in your life. My point is, you need to make yourself happy, it's the only way you'll be able to live with yourself.
Author bananaboat11 Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 Rob, it doesn't matter if Jessica Simpson is telling you that you are hot sh*t (although i'm sure it'd be a great boost to your ego). If you don't feel like hot sh*t, then what does it matter? It sounds like you rely on other peoples opinions on yourself, more than your own opinion. Do you like the way you look? If not, then change something to suit your idea of what looks good. That's the only way you will ever truly feel content. You have a fantastic personality, and to be honest, if a female looks too much further passed that, then that's not the kind of girl you want in your life. My point is, you need to make yourself happy, it's the only way you'll be able to live with yourself. I know, Erica. You're definitely right. My 'hot' friend that K wants lol told me the reason I'm hot **** - not just the physical.. not just my intelligence.. it's the aura I HAD before I met my ex. I could walk in a room with confidence and attract people TO me. (she told me tonight)... This last breakup was a huge blow to my ego. Not that I was cocky, arrogant, conceited, self-absorbed, etc before... but right now... it's almost as if I'm trying to reboot myself mentally now. I'm not relapsing. I'm not depressed. I'm not in sweats, unshaven, and not showering... I am keeping myself neat, clean-shaven and well groomed. It's kind of amazing how ONE person you make your world can turn you from alpha into beta... only to force you to reboot yourself to an alpha again. It's a "fun" process. It's a bit weird to explain without giving off this sense of conceitedness... so I hope it doesn't come across that way.
USMCHokie Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Rob, it doesn't matter if Jessica Simpson is telling you that you are hot sh*t (although i'm sure it'd be a great boost to your ego). If you don't feel like hot sh*t, then what does it matter? It sounds like you rely on other peoples opinions on yourself, more than your own opinion. Do you like the way you look? If not, then change something to suit your idea of what looks good. That's the only way you will ever truly feel content. You have a fantastic personality, and to be honest, if a female looks too much further passed that, then that's not the kind of girl you want in your life. My point is, you need to make yourself happy, it's the only way you'll be able to live with yourself. These are the important points highlighted above...a lot of times we look to others' opinions of us...because it's quick and easy...it's a little ego boost to hear what we want to hear...whether it's your hot best friend or a bunch of strangers on LS... This is especially true in moments of weakness or despair, like right after a breakup. We're so used to getting that attention and positive opinion from another person that we forget to maintain a positive opinion of ourselves. We lose that ability to look at ourselves and know we're hot sh*t. We rely on our partner to do that because it feels so good to hear it from someone else. Like Erica said, you have a fantastic personality from what we've seen from you thusfar, and I would be very happy to have you as a good friend in real life. You're good people. In conclusion, Rob, get the f*ck over yourself. Thank you. And good day.
Author bananaboat11 Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 In conclusion, Rob, get the f*ck over yourself. Thank you. And good day. x infinity. I'm rebooting... rebooting... what a horrible choice of a word to use in this instance
Author bananaboat11 Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 And Kel, you are definitely good peoples. I would love to have you as a good friend in real life. Very hard to come across good people these days. I'd kill to meet a girl like Erica. Erica, if you have a single twin.. send her my way (in like 2-3 months when I'm back to 100%)! This abusive relationship I'm out of took a huge toll on me emotionally. I was drained... but now I'm finishing off a much needed cathartic cleanse to help me null & void anything having to do with my ex. I took LS' advice and had a faux-burial... and that night.. quite an interesting dream which I awoke to a great cry... showered @ 3:30AM and spent the rest of the night/morning on my couch looking to the night sky... yeah...
EricaH329 Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 I know, Erica. You're definitely right. My 'hot' friend that K wants lol told me the reason I'm hot **** - not just the physical.. not just my intelligence.. it's the aura I HAD before I met my ex. I could walk in a room with confidence and attract people TO me. (she told me tonight)... This last breakup was a huge blow to my ego. Not that I was cocky, arrogant, conceited, self-absorbed, etc before... but right now... it's almost as if I'm trying to reboot myself mentally now. I'm not relapsing. I'm not depressed. I'm not in sweats, unshaven, and not showering... I am keeping myself neat, clean-shaven and well groomed. It's kind of amazing how ONE person you make your world can turn you from alpha into beta... only to force you to reboot yourself to an alpha again. It's a "fun" process. It's a bit weird to explain without giving off this sense of conceitedness... so I hope it doesn't come across that way. I totallyyyy understand the need to feel like you are still attractive, after you've been through what seems like a horrible train wreck. Trust me, I do. And it's great to find out that you are still attractive. But that really only goes so far. I wouldn't take others opinions to heart, but used as a stepping stone towards improving yourself. You are not cocky for thinking that you are attractive. That's confidence. It turns into cockiness when you make decisions based on the fact that you find yourself attractive. These are the important points highlighted above...a lot of times we look to others' opinions of us...because it's quick and easy...it's a little ego boost to hear what we want to hear...whether it's your hot best friend or a bunch of strangers on LS... This is especially true in moments of weakness or despair, like right after a breakup. We're so used to getting that attention and positive opinion from another person that we forget to maintain a positive opinion of ourselves. We lose that ability to look at ourselves and know we're hot sh*t. We rely on our partner to do that because it feels so good to hear it from someone else. Like Erica said, you have a fantastic personality from what we've seen from you thusfar, and I would be very happy to have you as a good friend in real life. You're good people. In conclusion, Rob, get the f*ck over yourself. Thank you. And good day. Good points Kelvin! I would love to have Rob as a friend in real life also!
USMCHokie Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 (edited) I know, Erica. You're definitely right. My 'hot' friend that K wants lol told me the reason I'm hot **** - not just the physical.. not just my intelligence.. it's the aura I HAD before I met my ex. I could walk in a room with confidence and attract people TO me. (she told me tonight)... This last breakup was a huge blow to my ego. Not that I was cocky, arrogant, conceited, self-absorbed, etc before... but right now... it's almost as if I'm trying to reboot myself mentally now. I'm not relapsing. I'm not depressed. I'm not in sweats, unshaven, and not showering... I am keeping myself neat, clean-shaven and well groomed. It's kind of amazing how ONE person you make your world can turn you from alpha into beta... only to force you to reboot yourself to an alpha again. It's a "fun" process. It's a bit weird to explain without giving off this sense of conceitedness... so I hope it doesn't come across that way. This post is interesting to me and raises a few questions in my mind... What exactly is it that is changed about you on the inside...? Do you fear being used like that again...? Fear not finding anyone as good...(heh, this is a funny option...)? Fear not finding anyone at all...? Do you doubt that you're really as awesome as you once thought you were...? Do you feel like you don't have that aura anymore...? EDIT: I just realized the 'K' you were referring to was me...this is awkward... Edited January 25, 2010 by USMCHokie
EricaH329 Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 And Kel, you are definitely good peoples. I would love to have you as a good friend in real life. Very hard to come across good people these days. I'd kill to meet a girl like Erica. Erica, if you have a single twin.. send her my way (in like 2-3 months when I'm back to 100%)! This abusive relationship I'm out of took a huge toll on me emotionally. I was drained... but now I'm finishing off a much needed cathartic cleanse to help me null & void anything having to do with my ex. I took LS' advice and had a faux-burial... and that night.. quite an interesting dream which I awoke to a great cry... showered @ 3:30AM and spent the rest of the night/morning on my couch looking to the night sky... yeah... You are amazing Rob! You truly are! Thank you for the compliment! Unfortunatly, I have no sisters I am glad you are beginning to come back to reality. I know it's hard, hell, we all know it's hard. And I give you kudos for making an attempt at trying to get yourself out of this rut. That's more than a lot of people can say. It'll take more time. But I have no doubt in my mind that you will come out of this a much, much stronger person than you were before. Kelvin and I will always be here for you, don't hesitate to come to us when you feel a relapse coming on.
Author bananaboat11 Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 This post is interesting to me and raises a few questions in my mind... What exactly is it that is changed about you on the inside...? Do you fear being used like that again...? Fear not finding anyone as good...(heh, this is a funny option...)? Fear not finding anyone at all...? Do you doubt that you're really as awesome as you once thought you were...? Do you feel like you don't have that aura anymore...? Hm, no... i'm finally OK with going to sleep alone in my queen sized bed. No... it's that she was manipulative... pushing all her problem's blame onto me somehow... like I was the cause of the breakup... when in retrospect.. it was 100% her and her insecurities. I honestly fear infatuation right now. My heart is closed... but my mind and body are open to new things. I don't fear being hurt... you can't break what's already broken. I refuse, for my own sake & to protect the girl, to get into anything serious for the time being.. so don't hurt her... and I don't collapse into another emotional state. I care about those in my life... and it pains me to make someone I care about suffer. That aura I once had... just isn't there right now. Will it come back? G-d only knows. All I can do is try to finish healing myself... I am confident in my looks.... confident in my academics. Confident in the gym. confident in my djing... but for some reason... I haven't cleansed myself of this filth... this being used... I've never been 'used' before. I feel disgusting.
Author bananaboat11 Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 (edited) You are amazing Rob! You truly are! Thank you for the compliment! Unfortunatly, I have no sisters I am glad you are beginning to come back to reality. I know it's hard, hell, we all know it's hard. And I give you kudos for making an attempt at trying to get yourself out of this rut. That's more than a lot of people can say. It'll take more time. But I have no doubt in my mind that you will come out of this a much, much stronger person than you were before. Kelvin and I will always be here for you, don't hesitate to come to us when you feel a relapse coming on. you have no idea how much that means to me. you both know I'm here for you. You both have my private g-mail account and erica, you've got me on FB I believe in love. I truly feel it is out there... waiting for each of us. The moment you can look into his/her eyes... and it seems like nothing else in this world matters... as your press your forehead to his/hers... she/he smiles... lifts her lips to yours... your heart skips a beat as you close your eyes and you're taken to a place deep within your heart you've never felt before.... and it's such a good feeling. ... I believe. Edited January 25, 2010 by bananaboat11
EricaH329 Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 I honestly fear infatuation right now. That's nothing to fear. Why are you worried about that? That aura I once had... just isn't there right now. Will it come back? YES! And it'll come back with a vengeance!! It'll be a lot stronger, and more confident than it was before. You just wait, you'll see!
Author bananaboat11 Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 That's nothing to fear. Why are you worried about that? ...infatuation is blindly misinterpreted as love... i'll let that play itself out. YES! And it'll come back with a vengeance!! It'll be a lot stronger, and more confident than it was before. You just wait, you'll see! If I take my heart's advice... I am in repair. One can only smile at his surroundings. It's amazing how much more I appreciate every breathe I inhale... every subtle, ambrosial scent... and G-d willing, you'll find yourself taking a walk down the street and cast your gaze in the direction of a local shoppe's gallery windows... and there you'll be. You've found yourself once more... smiling back upon yourself.
EricaH329 Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 ...infatuation is blindly misinterpreted as love... i'll let that play itself out. That is true, but when you've found someone that you really like... you'll notice you aren't even worried about that fear any longer. But, just like everything else in this world, it'll take time for you to feel emotions towards someone else. If I take my heart's advice... I am in repair. One can only smile at his surroundings. It's amazing how much more I appreciate every breathe I inhale... every subtle, ambrosial scent... and G-d willing, you'll find yourself taking a walk down the street and cast your gaze in the direction of a local shoppe's gallery windows... and there you'll be. You've found yourself once more... smiling back upon yourself. GREAT way to look at it!! I love your optimism!! You will get through this, and you'll definitely get through this quicker with an attitude like that!!
Author bananaboat11 Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 GREAT way to look at it!! I love your optimism!! You will get through this, and you'll definitely get through this quicker with an attitude like that!! (you probably read this in another thread...) I had a dream that very night I laid my ex to rest (faux-burial)... there we were arm in arm, slow dancing to the silence of the night. I whispered, "I love you" in her ear. She looked up to me and smiled... but it was like I couldn't see into her eyes... they were glossy ... she whispered something, but I couldn't make it out... and the room began to burn. She held onto me tighter... and ever tighter as the floor began to give way. She lost her footing, but I would not hold on any longer... ...let me tell you, best cry I ever had when I woke up at 3:30am that morning. Didn't get back to sleep. Showered at 5am and just sat in my living room on my couch looking up to the sky.. I had a GREAT day. I was smiling again. I'm not afraid to cry these days... and I'm quite sure, the day I hear from my ex again (as I'm sure she knows I blocked her and is probably pissed/shocked I did... but accepting of why I did and letting me be for now).. I will cry once more... but I will not mourn myself. I will mourn her loss. Me.
USMCHokie Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Hm, no... i'm finally OK with going to sleep alone in my queen sized bed. No... it's that she was manipulative... pushing all her problem's blame onto me somehow... like I was the cause of the breakup... when in retrospect.. it was 100% her and her insecurities. I honestly fear infatuation right now. My heart is closed... but my mind and body are open to new things. I don't fear being hurt... you can't break what's already broken. I refuse, for my own sake & to protect the girl, to get into anything serious for the time being.. so don't hurt her... and I don't collapse into another emotional state. I care about those in my life... and it pains me to make someone I care about suffer. That aura I once had... just isn't there right now. Will it come back? G-d only knows. All I can do is try to finish healing myself... I am confident in my looks.... confident in my academics. Confident in the gym. confident in my djing... but for some reason... I haven't cleansed myself of this filth... this being used... I've never been 'used' before. I feel disgusting. Good lord, I leave for a few minutes to cook dinner and come back to find that I have to play catch up... I've mentioned something to you before about your heart being closed... It's perfectly normal and ok for you to be so guarded, especially if the ex is still fresh on your mind, which it still obviously is, whether in a positive or negative sense. You'll feel broken for a while...you'll feel like anyone you get close to is bound to get hurt by your butt-hurted-ness...but all of this will pass...I assure you... Eventually you'll let your guard down and open your heart...do you know why? Because you won't be thinking about all the bad things your ex did, how you were hurt, how you were broken... You will just be living life...the good life that you have as the sexy Dr. Diabeetis... And all that pain from your past will be a distant memory. You only close your heart because you associate heart feelings with all the pain that was brought forth from your ex. The aura will come back, my friend. Don't try to rush the process or force something to happen. Because you know and I know that good things will happen. And at least you have a queen size bed. I sleep on a twin size mattress that sits on the floor. I call it "spartan".
Author bananaboat11 Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 Erica, Kel... for not knowing me... my past, my present, my future... for blindly helping me... being there unconditionally... for a grown man who is dreaming with a broken heart. ...thank you (yet again). You both (and my avatar) constantly remind me that hearth, warmth, love, compassion, companionship, friends, and all those subtle niceties that define human nature and bring us comfort do exist
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