yasmina1706 Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 Hey all, Something very strange has happened to me... I don't really know how to explain it, and if it means I should break up with my boyfriend? I have been with him for 2 years, since I was 18, and am a uni student. I am now in my 3rd year and have been very stressed about careers, graduate applications, etc, but a strange thing has happened to me in the past couple of days. I have suddenly been catapulted back to how I felt before I was with my boyfriend. It is like spring shining after a long winter. I feel scared and alone but also independent, full of hope, the maker of my own destiny. I feel like a girl going on a big adventure. I also feel lonely. Why could this be? I haven't been going through a particularly bad patch with my boyfriend, we have just spent a couple of weeks apart, but before that we lived together for a couple of weeks on holiday and I really enjoyed it. Now though I suddenly feel like a light has been switched on - I am 'me', I have got myself back! I feel like I was lost before and not a separate individual but somehow inextricably linked to him. Now I feel like I am just an individual and what he says or does doesn't matter to my destiny at all - it is my choice and making. I know this might sound strange, but I didn't feel this way before. Don't get me wrong, he is not controlling or clingy at all and has never told me what to do. Why am I feeling like this? Is it a sign that I should break up with him? I am feeling so much happier and more excited than I have felt in a long time... but why?? It has just come out of the blue! In my mind, I am back to being 18, with the world at my feet, good grades and a good future, rather than a stressed out 20 year old super-worried about securing a career in law - now I feel like everything is possible again! Sorry to ramble on. Has this happened to anyone before? Any ideas about what is going on with me? It is so strange!
Author yasmina1706 Posted January 23, 2010 Author Posted January 23, 2010 Also, more detail about my boyfriend: he is very opinionated and can be classist and racist. I am quite open-minded and that side of him pains me very much. Sometimes when I am around others, I am constantly stressed that he will say something revealing his prejudices, and they will be shocked I am tired of being on edge, I just want to be ME again, and not conform to anyone else's opinions!!
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