Author Hazyhead Posted January 27, 2010 Author Posted January 27, 2010 Hey, hey girl, I'm proud.....well done:) It's just the 1st step but its a step!! I know how you feel about it being nice having the attention but something just doesn't click, thats ok though, no huge breakthrough just little, baby steps xx It's funny, I do feel at times like I've made a bit of a breakthrough, not a huge one, no, but a little weeny one. However today I've had more sad moments. Moments when I find myself at work, sitting at my desk, staring into space thinking about him (xMM - he's still 'him' to me) and missing him instead of the 10,000,000 jobs piling up on me. I suppose that's still natural though. Anyway, H4U, I fully recommend doing it (getting yourself out on a date, of course, not 'it' it ) I know you had a brief thing at Christmas, but it was so nice to sit with an attractive man and form some kind of bond, even if just a little one. Good Job, Hazybabe!!! Even if it didn't click, might I say it may be nice if you ask HIM out for a second "date". Again, with no expectation of anything other than friendship. After all, it takes some time to really decide if you like someone. (Not all romantic relationships start out with instant "click") I love this idea. I could definitely go out with him again. I was honest and told him that I'm still fragile and might not be capable, let alone ready, for a relationship, and he was completely understanding. I do quite like the idea of a cheeky text from me asking him out again Oh, Hazy, you're my hero. We are living parallel lives except I'm several weeks behind you, and I don't really think I could keep it together for an actual date. Like Hopeless said, it's baby steps for all of us Well, I'm super happy for you. It's significant that you didn't feel overwhelmed by wishing it was MM the whole time (maybe if even occasionally that is what you have to push out of your mind and heart). Um, if you'll forgive me, slight t/j, but talking about meeting new guys...MM had the genius idea to push me toward dating, basically telling me there were opportunities all around me and I just wasn't doing an adequate job of noticing them . It was part of his big idea of what might keep me from moving away! So, I tried, immediately met someone (um, who I have yet to go on any date with) and he flipped out. I give up! Actually, seems it was him who gave up... So, yeah, baby steps all around. Let's keep up the good feelings and support- I know this gets better. Jolene TJ away; we're all here to help each other. My xMM tried to mention me dating whilst in the affair, but more in the way FA talks about it. He would broach it warily, trying to gage my opinion on it I think, but used to say that he couldn't handle it and that it would 'break his heart' (The irony!) So... are you going on the date Jolene? (Doitdoitdoitdoit! )
Samantha0905 Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 I'm glad you had a nice time! It doesn't matter really that there wasn't a real romantic "feel" to it. If he was nice enough and you could see yourself being friends with him, I say go out again. If you feel he is wanting more and the feeling is never there for you, I suppose then would be the time to stop or have a just friends discussion. Who knows -- perhaps something will click as you go along. If not, there's always others out there. If I were you, I would continue to date, hang out with friends and just stay relatively busy. Good for you for going on the date!! Jolene -- please date also. It may end up being a huge step towards recovery.
silverplanets Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 but used to say that he couldn't handle it and that it would 'break his heart' (The irony!) That brought back memories ... as you say Oh the irony !!! Congrats on your date btw .... All steps forward are worth their weight in gold I say !!!
Author Hazyhead Posted January 27, 2010 Author Posted January 27, 2010 I'm glad you had a nice time! It doesn't matter really that there wasn't a real romantic "feel" to it. If he was nice enough and you could see yourself being friends with him, I say go out again. If you feel he is wanting more and the feeling is never there for you, I suppose then would be the time to stop or have a just friends discussion. Who knows -- perhaps something will click as you go along. If not, there's always others out there. If I were you, I would continue to date, hang out with friends and just stay relatively busy. Good for you for going on the date!! Jolene -- please date also. It may end up being a huge step towards recovery. This is what I think I'll do, but be honest with him about how I feel. I did really enjoy his company That brought back memories ... as you say Oh the irony !!! Congrats on your date btw .... All steps forward are worth their weight in gold I say !!! I know! The irony stanks from some WS. But then I let him do it and even though in my mind I'd be thinking 'That ain't right, mister', my heart would swell as if it proved his love to me or something. Dumbass! (Me) Thanks to all who've encouraged me This forum is a Godsend.
silverplanets Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 But then I let him do it and even though in my mind I'd be thinking 'That ain't right, mister', my heart would swell as if it proved his love to me or something. Dumbass! (Me) I've almost got tears in my eyes laughing at memories of me doing the same. Part of my mind saying "surely you DIDN'T just say that ! " whilst the other part instantly jumped in with "awww, it's so cute, she loves you " .... as you say Dumbass (Me!) :) Thanks for laugh
Author Hazyhead Posted January 27, 2010 Author Posted January 27, 2010 I've almost got tears in my eyes laughing at memories of me doing the same. Part of my mind saying "surely you DIDN'T just say that ! " whilst the other part instantly jumped in with "awww, it's so cute, she loves you " .... as you say Dumbass (Me!) :) Thanks for laugh You're welcome. Some good should come of it! When I think back at what a mug I was... *hangs head in shame* Still, it's all a learning curve, right?
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