Booter Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 So here is the scenario, sorry if this is kinda long.... My Ex and I broke up 7 months ago. we went NC for 3 months and things were going fine for me, but after that things started happing and we have been talking on and off for the last 4 months. I love this girl and care about her dearly, I know that she cares about me as well. so when we broke up she started seeing other guys...as I other girls nothing serious of course. but there is one guy in particular that she has been seeing (it was a mutual frind of ours while we were dating). since we broke up I have moved to a different town about 2 hours away from were i was living and where she is now. Anyway she is moving here in a couple of months too, and she says that she doesn't want to seriously get back together with me untill then, that is mutual. But she is still with this other guy, and we still have been talking almost everyday now for the past couple of weeks, just small talk and once in awhile talking about "us" nothing serious though just that we wish that she could have moved down here sooner. So I am stuck, I want to be here for her but its hard to see the reasons after this time and she is STILL seeing that other guy, she tells me that theres is nothing going on and she has overwhelming feelings for me still. I want to trust her but like I said she makes it hard by what she is doing. I just called her tonite to ask her about tomorrow (she wants me to go with her to a friends bday party) when I called she was at this guys house. I know I want to let her go after this, I still dont know why I try to stay in touch with her if she is with this guy. Should I give her more time? or should I give it the boot and forget about her....I have been doing fine without her she is the one that initiated the contact with us and she hasn't let that go since....I want to give her a chance and see what happens when shes down here....Am I just the back up plan in case her rendevous with her current friend get old? anyway....what do you guys think?
aerogurl87 Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 OP if you let her continue to see this other guy and don't say anything about it, she won't know anything is wrong. With that said, you both agreed not to get serious till she moves near you so I'm assuming you're not together. If that's the case, she's still a free agent and can hang out with this guy if she wants, unless you two have agreed to other terms. If you really don't want her to hang out with this guy so much, why not tell her? The key to any successful relationship is communication after all.
Author Booter Posted January 23, 2010 Author Posted January 23, 2010 agree she is free game, and we have made it pritty clear that trying to get back together now wouldn't work. I understand that she can see other people and all, but I guess it just makes it difficult and she wont be down here untill july....so idk, its a difficult situation, maybe its just bad timing? I am ready to be with her today but like I said a long distance deal now wouldn't work.....and I cant keep letting her do as she wants. if she says that she really loves me and wants things to work shouldn't she be willing to let whatever she has now go? idk....
nomad0792 Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 My suggestion...maybe you shouldn't talk with her while she's with him. Is she doing it to make you jealous? Why would she risk hurting you like that?
sunrae Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 Sounds like she wants her cake and eat it too... Booter, Either you need to let her go.. It's tearing you up and it's not fair to you. Or you need to talk to her and see what she has to say.. For me when I have overwhelming feelings for someone, I dont even want to be with someone else.
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