meerkat stew Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 Advocating enthusiasm in bed does not equate to advocating violence against women.
Golfilla Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 Advocating enthusiasm in bed does not equate to advocating violence against women. He's made many other posts on other boards where he suggested women needed to be "slapped around". I'm not going to bother linking to them because the mods will just delete them anyway, but they are definitely there. Oh, and read through the entire thread, not just the first post.
meerkat stew Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 Oh, and read through the entire thread, not just the first post. 5 pages? No way man, will just take your word for it
samsungxoxo Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 (edited) He's made many other posts on other boards where he suggested women needed to be "slapped around". I'm not going to bother linking to them because the mods will just delete them anyway, but they are definitely there. Oh, and read through the entire thread, not just the first post. I just read about him today. He goes from one opposite to the next so who is he really in real life??? First he claims about how sad his life is as a result of not getting laid for 2 years or so (also claimed to be nice)... like it was the end of world. If he claims to be nice then why is he trying to look for a woman that will accept him ONLY for the sole purpose of having sex??? Contradictory to what he claims to be?? Ok so let's say he gets a quiet, withdrawn woman and everything goes well then what, continue to seek her out just to get laid... she'll find out eventually. How sad to find out the only reason you're seeking a relationship is to get laid right away. Isn't that using someone??? This leads me questioning if you're using someone for sex then are you really that nice as you claimed to be???? Next, he is advocating violence against women and claiming we ALL like being raped, abused or slapped around. What's up with the generalizing?? Again who is he really in real life?? Edited January 24, 2010 by samsungxoxo
Lizzie60 Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 I have not read the thread... and maybe this has been said before... but to me.. just the word 'chivalry' sounds sooooo medieval.. so old-fashion. What kills it... probably feminism... and I'm glad it's did... (if it did not sure it did)... because to me... equality is most important... and women have to keep working in that direction (we're far from our ultimate goal still).. What is important to me.. it's not a man who opens my door.. I can open the door nyself.. I'm not handicapped.. this is stupid IMO... it's a man who is my equal... who do not take me for granted .. as if I can't do anything by myself.. a man who feels I am NOT inferior but equal to him... This... to me ... is a real man.. it has nothing to do with this moronic belief that chivalry is good and should be kept.... it's completely dumb.. IMO.
samsungxoxo Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 ^^ THAT!! That killed it. Chivalry is not dead here thank goodness. Only to those ungrateful ones. You can always move on to the next one who does appreciates you for that.
Ruby Slippers Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 "Chivalry" is not the right word for it, for sure. I associate it with gender-specific acts of thoughtfulness on the part of the male. But there are parallels for women. An ex that I am still friends with told me a while after we'd broken up that he always appreciated how I took such good care of him when he was sick, making him homemade soup and tea, running him hot baths, giving him a cold washrag for his forehead. That's a female equivalent to opening doors and carrying heavy things... it's basically behaving as a mother/father/protective figure. No, he didn't need that to get better anymore than a woman needs a man to open the door or carry her things, but it sure does make you feel special and appreciated. If given and accepted freely, these acts can be quite beautiful and sweet. I'm a big fan of giving and accepting love in all its forms.
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Chivalry died when it was mistaken for chauvinism.
threebyfate Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 This thread and others like it, make me appreciate all the courteous gestures that my husband does for me, holding my coat while I try to put it on, lifting me over deep puddles, his protectiveness when someone's being rude, and many more, that this thread defines as chivalry and I define as common courtesy, from a man. All these courtesies come natural to him as a man, where he doesn't resent or begrudge giving. It makes me not only appreciate him more but fall on my knees in thankfulness, that he's not a whiny, little man.
Yellowboy Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 The first reply was the best answer. Feminism basically threw chivalry out the window. I just practice simple courtesy. Do what you would do a person, regardless of he or a she. If an old man had problems with his giant luggage, I'd try to help him. If a young girl has the same problem, I'd do the same. But if she takes that the wrong way, fine, I'll drop the bag and leave her. You don't want my courtesy, then fine see ya have a nice day. That's basically how I operate these days.
randall Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 ...holding my coat while I try to put it on, lifting me over deep puddles, his protectiveness when someone's being rude, and many more, that this thread defines as chivalry and I define as common courtesy, from a man. Does your husband do this for men or other women as well? If not, then what he's doing isn't common courtesy as he's only doing it for one particular person of the opposite sex. That's the complete opposite to common courtesy.
hollywood undead Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 What is important to me.. it's not a man who opens my door.. I can open the door nyself.. I'm not handicapped.. this is stupid IMO... it's a man who is my equal... who do not take me for granted .. as if I can't do anything by myself.. a man who feels I am NOT inferior but equal to him... If a man opens the door for you, he most likely doesn't do it to make you feel inferior. I like chivarly, it's a nice gesture of politeness and respect, and those are good qualities. I don't expect it - but I appreciate it when it happens.
meerkat stew Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Does your husband do this for men or other women as well? If not, then what he's doing isn't common courtesy as he's only doing it for one particular person of the opposite sex. That's the complete opposite to common courtesy. The "husband" talk in her post was all window dressing on the last seven word dig on other posters here, so no wonder that the setup doesn't quite make sense. It's just one of her transparent and obnoxious posting habits. You'll get used to it, but still fun to call out
Awesome Username Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Birth Control pills killed chivalry.
threebyfate Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Does your husband do this for men or other women as well? If not, then what he's doing isn't common courtesy as he's only doing it for one particular person of the opposite sex. That's the complete opposite to common courtesy.I see nothing wrong with gender specific common courtesies. He also gets gender specific common courtesies from me, but of a different variety.
Johnny M Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 The power of medieval knights was not so much in their weaponry and armor and skills, but more in their status and what they symbolized (nobility, power). These symbols were so powerful that they rarely, if ever, needed to fight (and if they had to, they would usually dominate). But most of the time, just the appearance of a knight was sufficient to inspire awe, fear, and respect. Your knowledge of history is a little flawed. Knights did fight - in fact, that's what they were raised to do. Knights were expected to lead their men into battle. It wasn't uncommon for even very high ranking members of the nobility (i.e. dukes and counts) to die in battle. Incidentally, chivalry did not exist in the days of fighting aristocracy. Those aristocrats were rough, violent men - not the cultured, sophisticated dandies portrayed in romantic novels. Originally, chivalry meant courage and honor on the battlefield and had nothing to with the treatment of women. What we think of as 'chivalry' today can be traced to the late Middle Ages, the time when aristocracy became an idle socialite class, more concerned with luxuries and parties than with fighting and leadership.
DiscoChick Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 I agree with the people that say it's all about how they were raised. I grew up being told to respect my elders. Hold the door open for elders, pregnant women, and kids. I hold the door/elevator for anyone. I also give up my seat to pregnant women/older people/kids. I help older people find things in the store if I think they need help. I do not offer to help people put their things in their trunk. They always think someone is trying to rob them. My brother is very similar to me, but he won't go as far as to pay for an entire date. He will forget to pull the chair out or open the car door. Who the heck wants someone to open their car door or pull out their chair?! Sure, doing things for a chick is nice, but some things just need to be done with. Hold the door/elevator and help her pick up something she drops. There's no need to open car doors and ruin a jacket by lying it in a puddle of water for me to step over. Believe me, I much prefer splashing through the water. And, this, people, is why I am happy that I am not a guy. Some things men do in movies are outrageous;my female friends actually think they will happen in real life. Dream on. Why would they even want to date a butler?
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