eddieT405 Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 Background- We are both 23 years old. We met in 2 years volunteering in NYC and went to college together. We took everything slowly and started dating June of 2008. We dated for 1 ½ years… I had been in LT and ST relationships before and nothing compared to this girl. I discovered what it meant to truly love someone. Overall, things were very good. When we were together at school I got to be with her every single day and loved almost every minute of it… I wanted to be around her as much as possible and she wanted to be with me. I treated her vey well and she treated me equally. This girl really had exactly what I was looking for (Beautiful, intelligent, funny, great personality, etc) The problem- This past summer, we started fighting a little because she wanted to see me every night. She thinks that it is the guys job to come to the guy most of the time (which was fine with me- I didn’t mind driving to her). I live 45-50 minutes away from her and I was working 9-10 hours everyday. I would see her approx 3 times a week, but she wanted to see me more often. This fall, she hit me with what to me seemed like an ultimatum… she wanted to marry this summer. I loved this girl and we had talked about marrying in the future but I did not think I was emotionally, physically, financially ready to become engaged and married in a matter of months. I had to say no… she interpreted that as I was not ready to settle down and commit to her so she broke up with me. I’m not going to lie.. I was heartbroken but I am not the type to mope around so I tried to act publically that I was doing fine with it all... about a week after it happened she started texting/calling me. I talked to her, but was afraid of getting hurt so I told her I didn’t want to get back together at this time… We met up a few times- and I really do still love and care about her. The last I saw her was about a month ago. A week ago, I saw on Facebook she is dating someone else. It was a guy who I knew had a crush on her since we had started dating… apparently when my gf and I broke up, he broke up with his gf. I was really hurt to see that they were together because he is not the best guy. I have gotten extremely nostalgic… I have taken the time to look at my relationship from a full perspective and it has really hit me that I have truly lost my best friend. I remember all of the great memories we had together- Movies, songs on the radio, tv shows, restaurants, etc all remind me of all of the great times I had with my gf. I have great friends and girls have wanted to date but when I am with them I realize they are not what I am looking for. I know that she wanted to get back together with me as of 1 month ago… and now I am afraid that I might have missed out on the person I was supposed to be with. Is it ok to contact her? I really do want to get back together with her. Advice?? Thanks so much!
sedgwick Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 It baffles me when I hear about women issuing ultimatums regarding marriage. Especially when they're 23!! If you truly love someone, THEY are more important than the ring they may or may not give you. Ultimatums are disrespectful. I really am stunned by how often I read about them on here -- it makes me VERY glad I'm not like that!!!
Booter Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 It seems to me being young and in love is a hard thing to do...not being sure as to what you want and maybe not being ready to commit for the rest of your lives....Small talk with her now wouldn't hurt, feel it out, is she truly wanting to get back with you? or is she just missing the habit of being with you? Does she just want to be sure that you still care about her for her own good? Idk those are some questions you could ponder about yourself, dont ask her directly by any means, keep things simple, dont tell her flat out how you feel....If you truly do care about her and see yourself getting back together with her just take it slow, if its meant to be then it will happen, just dont get worried and question her about it, let things happen......
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