Kelly5 Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 My ex-boyfriend and I broke up in September '09 after 4 years, so I have been out of the dating scene for a few years. Anyways, I am 22 years old so this is the first time I will be dating "in the adult world" because I was 17 when we got together. Question is: What do men in their early 20's (under 25) really want in life? Are the majority of them secretly looking for "Mrs. Right", or are they still trying to see how many girls they can pick up and how many times they can fart in a minute? I just pretty much want to know what is on the mind of these guys my age (except the obvious: sex, sex, sex). Anyone can contribute, especially those who can speak from experience!
seibert253 Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 I can only speak from experience. When I was 25 and younger I was only interested in one thing from the ladies, a piece of A...... Didn't settle down and get married until I was 28. I'm glad I waited.
Author Kelly5 Posted January 23, 2010 Author Posted January 23, 2010 I can only speak from experience. When I was 25 and younger I was only interested in one thing from the ladies, a piece of A...... Didn't settle down and get married until I was 28. I'm glad I waited. Okay, but did you ever meet a girl and think "she's wife material"? Haha I mean, does this even cross a man's mind at that age?
sumdude Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 Okay, but did you ever meet a girl and think "she's wife material"? Haha I mean, does this even cross a man's mind at that age? Sometimes but not likely. Consider men around 30 if you're looking for a long term relationship.
USMCHokie Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 Question is: What do men in their early 20's (under 25) really want in life? Are the majority of them secretly looking for "Mrs. Right", or are they still trying to see how many girls they can pick up and how many times they can fart in a minute? I just pretty much want to know what is on the mind of these guys my age (except the obvious: sex, sex, sex). Anyone can contribute, especially those who can speak from experience! It'll depend on who you ask...if he's just out of school, trying to get his career started and build a social circle in his new city/town, then it is less likely they are actively searching for marriage or the "one"... But of course I think every guy is always looking for "Mrs. Right" in the back of his mind, even if he isn't actively looking...you never know when she will come along, but when she does, you'll know, and the good guys know not to let go... Now speaking on the military side of the house, I'd say service members in their early 20's are more apt to marry than their civilian peers...first, they get paid more...second, they want to pop out kids...third, some women dig young military guys or use them as a meal ticket (and the guys don't know any better...) But in general, I think men in their early 20's don't know crap about what they want in the long run...they just want to get their feet on the ground if they haven't already done so, so they can start moving... I'm 26...I've got my sh*t together...so I feel like I'm ready to settle down with someone...but at the same time I'm in no hurry...
carolinawanderer Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 My ex-boyfriend and I broke up in September '09 after 4 years, so I have been out of the dating scene for a few years. Anyways, I am 22 years old so this is the first time I will be dating "in the adult world" because I was 17 when we got together. Question is: What do men in their early 20's (under 25) really want in life? Are the majority of them secretly looking for "Mrs. Right", or are they still trying to see how many girls they can pick up and how many times they can fart in a minute? I just pretty much want to know what is on the mind of these guys my age (except the obvious: sex, sex, sex). Anyone can contribute, especially those who can speak from experience! I'm 22 and I've been looking for "Mrs. Right" for a while. I thought I had found her, too, but it wasn't to be. I have a really high sex drive, but that doesn't mean I prefer nailing as many girls as I can to being in a committed relationship with someone. In fact, it's quite the opposite with me. I want sex, but strongly prefer it as part of a real relationship. After my ex dumped me, I hooked up with one girl, and felt really off afterwards. There's nothing like being with someone you are truly in love with. It really depends on the person. The guys that don't want a relationship and just want to sleep around tend to be more visible, so it's easier to think most guys in their early 20s are like this...but in reality, there are plenty of people around who want the opposite.
ella23 Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 Well, a lot of guys (and girls) in their early 20's (or even late 20's) are not looking for long term commitment. But there are also many who are. There are many people I know who are in their early 20's and are in long term relationships.
ironcross Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 My ex-boyfriend and I broke up in September '09 after 4 years, so I have been out of the dating scene for a few years. Anyways, I am 22 years old so this is the first time I will be dating "in the adult world" because I was 17 when we got together. Question is: What do men in their early 20's (under 25) really want in life? Are the majority of them secretly looking for "Mrs. Right", or are they still trying to see how many girls they can pick up and how many times they can fart in a minute? I just pretty much want to know what is on the mind of these guys my age (except the obvious: sex, sex, sex). Anyone can contribute, especially those who can speak from experience! I am currently 21 years old, so I guess I can share my prospective. The reason why I search for that special someone is so that I can be whole. Somewhere out there, my other half patiently awaits until the day of our fateful encounter. For that reason, I must find her, I must not lose faith.
Mattock5656 Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 As for me, I'm 20 fixing to turn 21. I've been single for quite some time, but in my mind I wouldn't mind having a long term relationship. Although , it seems that most don't want a long term relationship at this age, and typically if you do get in one, it usually fails in some sort of fashion. If its someone with similar thinking, and there is a connection. I'm all game, although I have lots of plans once I get done with my bachelors degree. Like going to Sweden for a year or so, or some random European country. It would be cool for someone to tag along, although I'm not forcing anyone and they would really want to do it for their own interests as well.
bananaboat11 Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 My ex-boyfriend and I broke up in September '09 after 4 years, so I have been out of the dating scene for a few years. Anyways, I am 22 years old so this is the first time I will be dating "in the adult world" because I was 17 when we got together. Question is: What do men in their early 20's (under 25) really want in life? Are the majority of them secretly looking for "Mrs. Right", or are they still trying to see how many girls they can pick up and how many times they can fart in a minute? I just pretty much want to know what is on the mind of these guys my age (except the obvious: sex, sex, sex). Anyone can contribute, especially those who can speak from experience! Hun, as alpha or beta as the men on these forums are... I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that these men are legitimate good guys (for the most part). Why? They're on an internet forum sharing their feelings... Most guys my age... aged 20-26... or older are really... um, for a lack of a better word, douchebags. This is my perception, at the very least. These guys have 'player-like' qualities that facilitate a negative image on men and their intentions in a relationship. I would say, find a guy from these boards.. but again probably not a good idea. Technically, if a guy is posting in one of these forums... he is mildly... or severely heartsick. Not a good combo for a new relationship. YOU have to know what's best for you and how much you're willing to let him in... how much you're willing to risk it. Honestly, that's the dating game. As long as you're confident and secure with YOURself and having someone else come into your world... someone you're willing to get to know and he's willing to open his world to you and develop a companionship + infatuation to develop a relationship... go with it and see where it leads you. Be mindful of the redflags... some are worth ignoring for the time.. others are HUGE no-no's... Good luck
harmfulsweetz Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 I'm not a man, but I think most men in their early twenties aren't looking to settle down. And this isn't necessarily a bad thing. I'm 22, and I'm not looking to settle down. I'm not saying you won't meet guys that do want a LTR, and that's grand, because they are out there, you just have to weed out the ones that don't first. Relationships have a high fail rate in the early twenties, more than likely, because each individual keeps growing and finding more about themselves, and want to do more for themselves. Maybe you should enjoy being single, and focus on you? I don't know, four years is a long time to be with someone and then to get into another long term thing, it just seems you may benefit from a gap and try and find yourself. But yeah, most guys in their early 20's are only after a piece of A...but then, nowadays a lot of girls are only after that too!
bananaboat11 Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 I'm not a man, but I think most men in their early twenties aren't looking to settle down. And this isn't necessarily a bad thing. I'm 22, and I'm not looking to settle down. I'm not saying you won't meet guys that do want a LTR, and that's grand, because they are out there, you just have to weed out the ones that don't first. Relationships have a high fail rate in the early twenties, more than likely, because each individual keeps growing and finding more about themselves, and want to do more for themselves. Maybe you should enjoy being single, and focus on you? I don't know, four years is a long time to be with someone and then to get into another long term thing, it just seems you may benefit from a gap and try and find yourself. But yeah, most guys in their early 20's are only after a piece of A...but then, nowadays a lot of girls are only after that too! I'm a 25 y/o male who would consider himself competent and content with his life. I'm a graduate student make a nice salary doing research for Type II Diabetes + getting mh PhD hopefully in another 2-3 years I'll be finished... I wouldn't mind an LTR... but I'm not looking. It's hard with my coursework/research. If i didn't want to do what I'm doing... id've taken my Masters and run. And please... women who do the bolded text above... warn me next time Guys are guys.. it's just expected. I never expected to be used as a 5 month rebound by a, what I thought was a stable, sweet, caring girl... HA. &%#in' %$^# she was. She didn't even cheat on me, either.. just used me and moved on. makes me sick to think about
counterman Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 A lot of men in their early 20s are not really looking for something long-term. Some find it hard to commit to a relationship once it starts getting serious. However, in saying that, there are also many who are searching for the right one and this sometimes means dating and breaking up until the right one does come along. It might not even be the one you thought looking for. What you want to do is find the ones that want a serious relationship, ones that know that if things go well, and you've been dating for a while, that marriage is even a possibility. Harmfulsweetz is right. You're constantly growing and learning from your experiences and you start to know yourself better and this usually relates to knowing what you want. Many relationships end because one person goes overseas for a period of time and comes back having doubts. Many end because one person realises that this isn't want I thought I wanted. You have recently been through a break-up from a long term relationship. It is normal to feel "over it" like most of us do after a LTR. It seems crazy to jump into something long-term soon after, so don't worry if you've been out of the dating scene for a while. You can focus on yourself like what you want to do, your family, friends, career, anything to do with you. It's great being single and enjoying life. And, once you feel all refreshed and, you are no longer wondering what's on a guy's mind, you feel ready to date again. Who knows what us guys think about..sex is probably the only definite LOL. Remember, you're only 22.
ella23 Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 I'm a 25 y/o male who would consider himself competent and content with his life. I'm a graduate student make a nice salary doing research for Type II Diabetes + getting mh PhD hopefully in another 2-3 years I'll be finished... I wouldn't mind an LTR... but I'm not looking. It's hard with my coursework/research. If i didn't want to do what I'm doing... id've taken my Masters and run. And please... women who do the bolded text above... warn me next time Guys are guys.. it's just expected. I never expected to be used as a 5 month rebound by a, what I thought was a stable, sweet, caring girl... HA. &%#in' %$^# she was. She didn't even cheat on me, either.. just used me and moved on. makes me sick to think about So you're scared of entering a new relationship because this woman hurt you so much?
bananaboat11 Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 So you're scared of entering a new relationship because this woman hurt you so much? No. I'm not looking because is it really worth my time? I was out at the bars last night with a few guys from my lab.. couple of 'em are married.... and we were all talking. To us single guys in the lab... most girls are co-dependent (whether they realize it or not)... and I'm honestly... doing science-y type **** 12-15 hours a day... and I give up stuff that are important to me like the gym and sleep... to make sure I have time for HER, but it usually isn't good enough. I would like someone who is in the SAME situation as me.. another academic. Someone who understands the time commitment and passion for the work we do. Graduate school isn't easy... if it were, everyone would be in and doing it. I'm doing it b/c I love what I'm doing. My Grandparents have Type II diabetes... my mother prediabetic.. so what I'm studying hits close to home. If I met a confident, independent, intelligent woman who I'm mentally, emotionally and physically attracted to... I'm all about trying my hands at dating/relationship... or a girl who can at the very least be understanding of such. Once she learns you're a grad student... in her head she brands you an elite status and is infatuated by that... if she was attracted to you before... it's 10 fold. And then... you give in. you begin dating... but you have to be in your lab for a 4 hour metabolic rest +/- 30 mins before + after for cleanup and set up... then trouble shooting... then you have to do a few things for your study... reading/writing **** for it... schedule 2 new participants.. a study participant RANDOMLY pops into your lab for anthropometric (height, weight, waist circumference, etc) measures... so you have to do that... 10 mins about... you finally get out and you need to run a few errands.. you want to see your babygirl... want to go to the gym.. FINALLY want to eat something... ...oh and all the while she's bitching why can't you call me / text me while you're in your lab? First.. it's TERRIBLE etiquette in front of the study participant... I'm in a Biohazard Safety Level 2 lab... so we deal with blood. I'm not ****ing touching my phone. (this excuse is not good enough) in all honesty.. the SECOND I walk out of my lab, I'm on my phone calling her (who is non-existant at the moment), but... you see where I'm going with this? I would love to give my world to someone special one day, but no one is accepting of it. I understand making as much time as I can for her.. and I try so hard.. but sometimes...
Author Kelly5 Posted January 23, 2010 Author Posted January 23, 2010 Thank you for all your responses. This wasn't necessarily a post about me because I'm not looking to get back in a relationship now, but I'm just more curious about the "mind" of guys in their 20s. This never crossed my mind once when I was dating my ex, but now that I am single I feel as though I'm entering a whole new world!
Author Kelly5 Posted January 23, 2010 Author Posted January 23, 2010 No. I'm not looking because is it really worth my time? I was out at the bars last night with a few guys from my lab.. couple of 'em are married.... and we were all talking. To us single guys in the lab... most girls are co-dependent (whether they realize it or not)... and I'm honestly... doing science-y type **** 12-15 hours a day... and I give up stuff that are important to me like the gym and sleep... to make sure I have time for HER, but it usually isn't good enough. I would like someone who is in the SAME situation as me.. another academic. Someone who understands the time commitment and passion for the work we do. Graduate school isn't easy... if it were, everyone would be in and doing it. I'm doing it b/c I love what I'm doing. My Grandparents have Type II diabetes... my mother prediabetic.. so what I'm studying hits close to home. If I met a confident, independent, intelligent woman who I'm mentally, emotionally and physically attracted to... I'm all about trying my hands at dating/relationship... or a girl who can at the very least be understanding of such. Once she learns you're a grad student... in her head she brands you an elite status and is infatuated by that... if she was attracted to you before... it's 10 fold. And then... you give in. you begin dating... but you have to be in your lab for a 4 hour metabolic rest +/- 30 mins before + after for cleanup and set up... then trouble shooting... then you have to do a few things for your study... reading/writing **** for it... schedule 2 new participants.. a study participant RANDOMLY pops into your lab for anthropometric (height, weight, waist circumference, etc) measures... so you have to do that... 10 mins about... you finally get out and you need to run a few errands.. you want to see your babygirl... want to go to the gym.. FINALLY want to eat something... ...oh and all the while she's bitching why can't you call me / text me while you're in your lab? First.. it's TERRIBLE etiquette in front of the study participant... I'm in a Biohazard Safety Level 2 lab... so we deal with blood. I'm not ****ing touching my phone. (this excuse is not good enough) in all honesty.. the SECOND I walk out of my lab, I'm on my phone calling her (who is non-existant at the moment), but... you see where I'm going with this? I would love to give my world to someone special one day, but no one is accepting of it. I understand making as much time as I can for her.. and I try so hard.. but sometimes... Do people really generally think that students in graduate school are "elite status"? I'm going to enter graduate school in a year and I don't want to be intimidating to anyone because there is no reason for that
bananaboat11 Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 Do people really generally think that students in graduate school are "elite status"? I'm going to enter graduate school in a year and I don't want to be intimidating to anyone because there is no reason for that People will tell you 'no', but it does. And honestly... you don't think you'll change your attitude... trust me... you will. I didn't think I would. I did.
ella23 Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 Do people really generally think that students in graduate school are "elite status"? Yes, in the sense that you'd be pretty intelligent if you're at grad school, or at least that is the perception people have.
bananaboat11 Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 Yes, in the sense that you'd be pretty intelligent if you're at grad school, or at least that is the perception people have. Sorry if I came across as pretentious... didn't mean to. Honestly.. I do not believe I'm above anyone.
ella23 Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 Sorry if I came across as pretentious... didn't mean to. Honestly.. I do not believe I'm above anyone. I wasn't saying you were pretentious or elitist. What I mean is that other people would probably assume that you are quite intelligent if you go to grad school, so you might be considered of 'elite status' (In reply to Kelly's question).
Woggle Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 This is the age where many men are still nice guys and get chewed up and spit out. They haven't quite become bitter yet towards women.
bananaboat11 Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 I wasn't saying you were pretentious or elitist. What I mean is that other people would probably assume that you are quite intelligent if you go to grad school, so you might be considered of 'elite status' (In reply to Kelly's question). Oh, I've already been branded. My friends from undergrad who went directly into the professional world... my 'boys'... are asking me for recommendations and treat me like a superior rather than an equal. It's getting on my nerves. Guys I used to toke with.. drink with... shoot the **** with... so not fair.
ella23 Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 (edited) Oh, I've already been branded. My friends from undergrad who went directly into the professional world... my 'boys'... are asking me for recommendations and treat me like a superior rather than an equal. It's getting on my nerves. Guys I used to toke with.. drink with... shoot the **** with... so not fair. That's the way it works (unfortunately in your case). They might think that you're intellectually superior, so they hold you in high regard. This is the age where many men are still nice guys and get chewed up and spit out. They haven't quite become bitter yet towards women. Why do you hate women so much? Most of us are not evil, scheming bitches like you believe. Edited January 23, 2010 by ella23
Woggle Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 I don't hate women. I simply see them for what they are.
Recommended Posts