Got it Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 This thread is ONLY for the good things! I had a very busy week and my MM was absolutely amazing throughout it. I appreciate his support, his attention, and his love for me. We have an amazing partnership and friendship. He truly loves me for who I am and I love him for all parts of him. He is an amazing man. I met him through work and know what a phenomenal job he does. Not only do I love him, I like him as well.
jolenejolene Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 Got It- I am very much with you tonight on this...in spite of hurting (maybe the most ever so far in this A), I feel that I could have written your post. This week was a tough and busy one for myself and MM. Yet, rather ironically, we managed to come together more and also share the most emotion that we ever have so far. It feels like a turning point, or possibly a breaking point, depending on how you see it (or how we decide to act on it). To say that it is intense would be an understatement. Yet to suppose that it is just drama or escapism would really be an insult. We are mature adults who have inexplicably come to this place in our lives, from friends to where we are now- probably the most unlikely and unplanned/unpredicted place we could have landed. The good things...he is suffering my attempts at dating others. A long time back he used to (pre-A) suffer hearing of my love for an xSO (who is finally, truly "ex-"). He is just the best friend I could imagine- the best friend he can be while maintaining the rest of his life, and for that I worry, appreciate and love him. We share a pursuit for which we are both mutually passionate, and in that I receive so much support and energy. He is supporting me even when it clearly hurts him and may lead to an outcome he may not like, but is what he believes may be best for me. This is really the purest expression of love that I have received from anyone, though it makes our situation all the more heartbreaking. The good things...realizing tonight how much love there is between us, even if we are unsure of what to do about it going forward...it is truly the most surprising gift and nothing takes away from that. JJ
pureinheart Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 Wow...totally cool, happy to hear the good news from both of you, I LOVE good news! When someone calls, and this is a random thing...I'll say, "please tell me some good news!" I love to see people happy, and absolutely love parties....when my family gets together we PARTY DOWN...my son-in-law likes oldies and he's usually the DJ....we dance and get down...they play the new stuff too and ya know what...this girl knows how to dance....they all trip cuz it's mainly a younger bunch, so they look at me with much hope and ecouragement for their future. Had a very busy week also and my SO/exMM was a gem also....we have been through so much together and have weatherd the storm. I am going to take things as they come from this point, whatever will be will be. I have been off of work for about 1 and 1/2 yrs now and am now retired and am reaching the end (finally) of the business end of this...man I did not realise how busy it is to retire...also playing a "clean up" in my life is taking much time, although am nearing the end....and here real soon home girl is goona be able to take a deep breath and just enjoy life....can't even tell you the hardship....but it is just about over. Possibly SO/exMM and I will be together, although I need time to see who I am first...I want to get in better shape...I have my whole life ahead of me and the worst is over and the best is yet to come...I think we will be together because neither of us wants to explain our whole life story over again....we don't like change much and have had enough of that in the last couple of years to last a lifetime. We know each other well, and are best friends...and I do not have that passionate love for him because I have blocked that out till the big M. You know...I take a lot of burdens...I hate to see people hurting and hate arrogance and self righteousness....and for all of you out there like this that have taken on the hurt and pain of loved ones, and others...this coming season is YOUR season, your time to shine, for your light has come. IMO Condemnation and a condemning attitude is for those who cannot handle God. I speak a good year, the year 2010...this year is very significant in so many ways, it is so high that there are no words, a "third heaven" experience if you will...
Fallen Angel Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 My MM has been here for a couple of days with me.. :bunny: which was really nice as he had been working in a different town for over a week and I was really missing him. We had a really nice time, with lots of cuddles to make up for the missed time.
jolenejolene Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 Friendships, cuddles, chats...many of these A's are just not what some people imagine! My MM is such an amazing man, and being in this circumstance really does not make him any less. He's a wonderful dad and a truly caring and loving person. For those who wish to say otherwise or judge, please save it for another thread, this one is just for us... JJ
Fallen Angel Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 Friendships, cuddles, chats...many of these A's are just not what some people imagine! My MM is such an amazing man, and being in this circumstance really does not make him any less. He's a wonderful dad and a truly caring and loving person. For those who wish to say otherwise or judge, please save it for another thread, this one is just for us... JJ LMAO.. you have no idea Jolene... it has been said more than once that My affair with My MM sounds more like an 'old, married couple' than a hot and steamy romantic affair. And while I agree with that, it is because we are best friend's first and foremost (we had more than a year long EA only before we even held hands for the first time! ), and then lovers... (also, I don't feel the need to post about the intimate details of our sex life.) But sex certainly is not the basis for our relationship. Though listening to so many of the people who want to convince me that My MM doesn't love me, one would be convinced that it is all about sex. LMAO. (I actually tested this theory for a time, and cut off the sexual aspect of our affair, it didn't change anything, except that I didn't get to make love to the man I love... *shrug* so much for that theory! )
Author Got it Posted January 23, 2010 Author Posted January 23, 2010 Yes not QUITE what many generalize them to be. I have been doing his laundry for quite awhile now as he does keep clothes here and the poor man has taken care of me when I have been sick (actually that goes for both of us). We do such sordid things as cleaning, cooking, shopping, putting up ceiling fans, discuss work issues, family issues, life issues, painting, hanging pictures, buying furniture, etc. Very nasty and sordid things. Lovely man has his kids this weekend and so I am on my own so have it filled with friends and family. We will reconnect later on before both of us have to travel for work. ANY relationship is what you make of it. If the bad outweighs the good, then leave it, if the good outweighs the bad then focus on the positive and work together on the negative. I love this man, he truly is a wonderful person. Love to hear about happy times!!!
Fallen Angel Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 Yes not QUITE what many generalize them to be. I have been doing his laundry for quite awhile now as he does keep clothes here and the poor man has taken care of me when I have been sick (actually that goes for both of us). We do such sordid things as cleaning, cooking, shopping, putting up ceiling fans, discuss work issues, family issues, life issues, painting, hanging pictures, buying furniture, etc. Very nasty and sordid things. Lovely man has his kids this weekend and so I am on my own so have it filled with friends and family. We will reconnect later on before both of us have to travel for work. ANY relationship is what you make of it. If the bad outweighs the good, then leave it, if the good outweighs the bad then focus on the positive and work together on the negative. I love this man, he truly is a wonderful person. Love to hear about happy times!!! LOL.. Mine has cleaned out my bathroom sink drain when it was clogged right after I moved in.. Now THAT was nasty!!!!!!!! :sick: He has also promised me he will give me a pedicure on monday :love: .. lmaooooooo.. that is NASTY!!! (I work as a retail cashier and am on my feet all day.. and my feet are gross. Time to break out the Ped-Egg and the pumice stone.....)
jolenejolene Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 He has also promised me he will give me a pedicure on monday :love: .. lmaooooooo.. that is NASTY!!! LMAO! Omigosh, FA, when I think about my own feet- ick! I cannot imagine! Now, that is love! It makes me think of another good thing- without being specific- just something that we had talked about and he got me something very similar for my bday. Just knowing they have listened, remember and care about something unique that is just for you... So sweet!! Jolene
jolenejolene Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 We do such sordid things as cleaning, cooking, shopping, putting up ceiling fans, discuss work issues, family issues, life issues, painting, hanging pictures, buying furniture, etc. Very nasty and sordid things. That is sooo hottt! Love it. ANY relationship is what you make of it. If the bad outweighs the good, then leave it, if the good outweighs the bad then focus on the positive and work together on the negative. This is what it's all about, absolutely. Thanks for sharing your "sordid" details- naughty!! Jolene
OWoman Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 ANY relationship is what you make of it. If the bad outweighs the good, then leave it, if the good outweighs the bad then focus on the positive and work together on the negative. Agree 100%! I'm just surfacing from a very busy few months - had one of my kids out here, my H's family for the holidays, and a string of friends and family staying over since then. This past weekend we had my H's siblings and their families, and it felt quite odd when we suddenly had the house to ourselves again. Anyone who thinks As are just about hot sex and fantasy reads too many chicklit books or watches too many movies. There are as many different kinds of As as there are people. Sometimes the connection is best kept deep and meaningless, and other times it's one of those forever things.
NoIDidn't Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Agree 100%! I'm just surfacing from a very busy few months - had one of my kids out here, my H's family for the holidays, and a string of friends and family staying over since then. This past weekend we had my H's siblings and their families, and it felt quite odd when we suddenly had the house to ourselves again. Anyone who thinks As are just about hot sex and fantasy reads too many chicklit books or watches too many movies. There are as many different kinds of As as there are people. Sometimes the connection is best kept deep and meaningless, and other times it's one of those forever things. OWoman, you aren't even posting about an A here! You are posting about your MARRIAGE. They asked for good times in AFFAIRS, not in MARRIAGES. And we ALL know, that there aren't ANY good times in MARRIAGES. Silly, you.
torranceshipman Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Got It- I am very much with you tonight on this...in spite of hurting (maybe the most ever so far in this A), I feel that I could have written your post. This week was a tough and busy one for myself and MM. Yet, rather ironically, we managed to come together more and also share the most emotion that we ever have so far. It feels like a turning point, or possibly a breaking point, depending on how you see it (or how we decide to act on it). To say that it is intense would be an understatement. Yet to suppose that it is just drama or escapism would really be an insult. We are mature adults who have inexplicably come to this place in our lives, from friends to where we are now- probably the most unlikely and unplanned/unpredicted place we could have landed. The good things...he is suffering my attempts at dating others. A long time back he used to (pre-A) suffer hearing of my love for an xSO (who is finally, truly "ex-"). He is just the best friend I could imagine- the best friend he can be while maintaining the rest of his life, and for that I worry, appreciate and love him. We share a pursuit for which we are both mutually passionate, and in that I receive so much support and energy. He is supporting me even when it clearly hurts him and may lead to an outcome he may not like, but is what he believes may be best for me. This is really the purest expression of love that I have received from anyone, though it makes our situation all the more heartbreaking. The good things...realizing tonight how much love there is between us, even if we are unsure of what to do about it going forward...it is truly the most surprising gift and nothing takes away from that. JJ You mean he is coping with you dating others? Big of him. ou've had to deal with the jealousy of a W every single day you've been involved! The only reason he's 'coping' is because he isn't interested in leaving his W for you. This sounds like an awful week - intense and miserable. Hope one of these dates works out so you forget about him.
herenow Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 OWoman, you aren't even posting about an A here! You are posting about your MARRIAGE. They asked for good times in AFFAIRS, not in MARRIAGES. And we ALL know, that there aren't ANY good times in MARRIAGES. Silly, you. In that case, I'm having an affair! Passion, romance, great sex, we enjoy each others company. Just last night, while watching the Saints beat the Vikings, he told me how great it is that we like the same things. I melt when he looks me in the eye and tells me he loves me with all his heart. I love when he holds me in his arms on a cold rainy evening by the fire. I just love that man. :love: Only one thing, he is married. To me!
Author Got it Posted January 26, 2010 Author Posted January 26, 2010 OWoman, you aren't even posting about an A here! You are posting about your MARRIAGE. They asked for good times in AFFAIRS, not in MARRIAGES. And we ALL know, that there aren't ANY good times in MARRIAGES. Silly, you. Well that is a ridiculous statement! Of course there are good times in marriage! There are good times in most relationships. Why would a threading asking about good times in one's affair REMOTELY mean there are no good times in marriage!?!
Author Got it Posted January 26, 2010 Author Posted January 26, 2010 Agree 100%! I'm just surfacing from a very busy few months - had one of my kids out here, my H's family for the holidays, and a string of friends and family staying over since then. This past weekend we had my H's siblings and their families, and it felt quite odd when we suddenly had the house to ourselves again. Anyone who thinks As are just about hot sex and fantasy reads too many chicklit books or watches too many movies. There are as many different kinds of As as there are people. Sometimes the connection is best kept deep and meaningless, and other times it's one of those forever things. Lovely to see a 3%! Had another wonderful time with my sMM, we actually had a great relationship talk and just did "relationship" stuff. We have a WONDERFUL weekend coming up as he is giving me my birthday present early so we are going away for the weekend. Yeah! He just makes me so happy. Really and truly happy. He is such a lovely man. And he thinks I'm pretty neat as well.
NoIDidn't Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 Lovely to see a 3%! Doesn't the 3% designation belong to those that married their MM AND managed to stay married for five years?
NoIDidn't Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 (edited) Well that is a ridiculous statement! Of course there are good times in marriage! There are good times in most relationships. Why would a threading asking about good times in one's affair REMOTELY mean there are no good times in marriage!?! Got it, it was a joke. And me ribbing OWoman. You DID ask about good times in an affair, and OWoman is not currently in an affair as her post so clearly stated. Nothing ridiculous about it, when one utilizes their sense of humor. A former BW can't tell a joke around here, I guess. Edited January 26, 2010 by NoIDidn't
MizzBlue72 Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 Great post!! MM flew in on Friday to Saturday evening and we had a great time!! He will be here permanently in 4 days!!!!!! Glad to hear that you love each other .... so many threads are so negative. Hope all is well
Author Got it Posted January 26, 2010 Author Posted January 26, 2010 Got it, it was a joke. And me ribbing OWoman. You DID ask about good times in an affair, and OWoman is not currently in an affair as her post so clearly stated. Nothing ridiculous about it, when one utilizes their sense of humor. A former BW can't tell a joke around here, I guess. I guess one person's "joke" can be viewed as another person's subtle jab. C'est la vie.
OWoman Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 OWoman, you aren't even posting about an A here! You are posting about your MARRIAGE. They asked for good times in AFFAIRS, not in MARRIAGES. And we ALL know, that there aren't ANY good times in MARRIAGES. Silly, you. But then, As which become Ms aren't really Ms, according to some posters. They're "affairages" or whatever the made-up word was :lmao: and doomed to fail after 30 seconds :lmao: Anyway, I'm not someone who's hung up on labels. What matters to me is the nature of the R. Our R was as valid then as it is now, with or without a piece of paper. And our R is as passionate now as it was then, with or without bits of metal around our fingers.
OWoman Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 Got it, it was a joke. And me ribbing OWoman. You DID ask about good times in an affair, and OWoman is not currently in an affair as her post so clearly stated. Nothing ridiculous about it, when one utilizes their sense of humor. A former BW can't tell a joke around here, I guess. Humour is a good thing. We should all deploy it more...
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