hellopeople Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 My friend, who is currently in university right now sent me an email today: "My bf of a few months is amazing. We had a really good relationship. Good communication. Good friends. Both religious. We had A LOT in common. Laughed a lot. But then I left for a month to see my family overseas. We talked on the phone and texted. But when I got back, he told me it was over. I didn't even see it coming. He didn’t know where the relationship was going. That he had jumped into the relationship for the wrong reasons - becasue he missed having a gf. He told me that he was scared of the relationship consuming his life. That he was too immature and not ready. He had been with a girl for two and a half years before me who had cheated on him. He went back to her for a while until she did it again. That was a few years ago. He told me he wants to date me and that I’m amazing – everything he’s wanted, but he can’t right now. He said he had been feeling weird about something for a while but couldn’t put a finger on it. He said this all while crying and saying it was the hardest decision he had ever made in his life. I told him he should have told me somehting was wrong - we could have worked on it. instead he talked to his friend about it. I told him I wasn’t like his ex, who he referred to as “the slut”. He had had this same feeling when he went back to his ex. He said he wanted to be friends. Please. I said no - if he didn't want to work on it, why should we be friends. He had all of me, or none at all. So, we ended breaking up. Apparently he needed time to sort things out. I told him to let me help, but he refused it. So I initiated NC. Deleting him from my phone, social net working sites, etc. It’s been a few days – nothing. I honestly think he had trust issues. He was probably afraid I would do the same thing as his ex since I liked my space – but he always wanted to know what I was doing. I was comfortable enough in the relationship where we didn’t have to see/ hear from each other every day. But he would almost always text me first. When I couldn’t see him, he would get upset and ignore me. He was jealous of my male friends and even sometimes of hot male characters in movies I would go see with my friends (Jacob mmm). He told me that he felt like a failure when he couldn't solve or do a task. Plus, he's a really busy guy - school, work, starting a club, getting his band together (he plays the drums really well). But he needs constant approval - from everyone. All the time. When people are happy with him, he's happy. It's like he's not complete. He always wanted me to hear his new solo or listen to his new lyrics, or whatever he was working on so I could tell him how amazing he was. And he's always trying to help people out. Last semester he would sometimes get no sleep becasue he was so busy with everyhting. But I honesty don't know. He needs time. Time to think things through. To reach the point where he can see himself with me or not. But I'm not waiting around for that point in time. What do you think about this?" I honestly don't really know. I mean, he seems to have some serious issues to work with... What do you guys think?
Davey McG Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 Do nothing. Go No Contact with him and give him the space he wants. Use the time to work on yourself and being happy without him. Let him sort his head out. In the meantime, work on moving on.
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