meerkat stew Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 You guys aren't talking about what I -think- you are talking about? that's just gross. Nobody does that.
tami-chan Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 Just stop giving him blowjobs. He doesn't like oral sex, he shouldn't expect any for himself. Unless, of course, she enjoys doing it to him..
Absolutely Curtains Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 Unless, of course, she enjoys doing it to him.. I'm seriously starting to think I'm a misandrist. I would stop giving bjs on principle in a case like this.
tami-chan Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 I'm seriously starting to think I'm a misandrist. I would stop giving bjs on principle in a case like this. I understand...but...maybe if we start doing things because we really enjoy doing them instead of doing them because we expect them done to us....life will be less complicated.....
Ruby Slippers Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 I love giving and getting oral, and I would have zero interest in being with a guy who did not enjoy giving and do it regularly. And I'm with Stung -- I've never even encountered a man who didn't love both. In fact, I never really even considered there were people like this until I read this forum.
Stung Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 I understand...but...maybe if we start doing things because we really enjoy doing them instead of doing them because we expect them done to us....life will be less complicated..... I see your point Tami and I do agree, but--while I give blowjobs because I like doing so, and I like the reaction I get, and I don't sit around and count out whether I'm getting exact 1:1 reciprocity--if there is zero turnabout, you can bet I'm going to start feeling a lot less giving. Shouldn't he want to please me as well? Not saying your bf doesn't want to please you, OP. Especially if he is young, he might just not know his way around a woman down there very well yet...or if he got all his sexual education from porn, he might not yet realize how very invaluable good oral skills are to many women out in the real world.
brock25 Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 If you bring up this topic and he starts doing it after that, then I wouldn't consider him to be selfish. Maybe he had some bad experiences or he was afraid to do it because of inexperience or he felt that you didn't like it for some reason.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 If he doesn't do "this" to a girl, is he just selfish? Yes, obviously
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Could be a bad experience. My stbxH went down on a girl when he was young - it was his first time - and the girl clearly had not washed or she had BV. He said it smelled like a dead rotted fish, and was thick and slimy. He nearly vomited when he started to put his tongue on her, and stopped. To this day, he has always had trouble with it. I guess when you've had a traumatic experience like that, it stays burned into your memory and is apt to make you not too fond of the act that they associate it with. Could also be that he just doesn't like it. Some guys don't. Not all girls like giving head. Dumping someone just for that is sort of cold, but if you need oral that badly then it is best to find someone who has a more similar need.
sonicranger Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Yes, it is a guy to guy thing, whether or not they like it and/or are good at it. Me, well, I gave my girlfriend her first orgasm via going down on her and then another whilst having sex. Lets just say I like it a lot and I'm really good at it.
amymarieca Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 This is an absolute deal breaker for me. I've broken up with guys before over it. I find it to be a necessary part of my sex life. I know it's only an opinion, but I've gone down on both men and women, and neither one tastes bad.
Clep Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 I had great sex with the last guy I dated. But a few months into dating I realized that he never went down on me. It wasn't a big deal because I don't particularly find it all that wonderful, but I was a little put off that he didn't even try. And yes, I DID go down on him... I casually asked him about it once and he said that I never asked him to. It made me wonder, do some guys just not like going down on a girl or does that mean he's not in to you? I'm not asking about this guy in particular, but in general. Part of me thinks it is selfish and I should dump a guy like that in the future, but at the same time the idea of the act (and maybe this is because I'm a heterosexual chick) is pretty gross to me. My guy has never once gone down on me. I have loved it in the past and missed it greatly at the beginning. I asked him about it and he let me know he has never done it before. It is against his cultural beliefs and so are a few other sexual practices. I had to decide if it was something I was willing to go without. He says one day he will, as he want's to see me pleased and happy, and he will work through it. He has done other things that his culture dictates he cannot do without shame. It is a pretty big deal for him though and he has some work to do in that area. He does not expect or ask for me to go down on him though.
mem11363 Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 A guy who does go down on you is almost certainly not gay. I had great sex with the last guy I dated. But a few months into dating I realized that he never went down on me. It wasn't a big deal because I don't particularly find it all that wonderful, but I was a little put off that he didn't even try. And yes, I DID go down on him... I casually asked him about it once and he said that I never asked him to. It made me wonder, do some guys just not like going down on a girl or does that mean he's not in to you? I'm not asking about this guy in particular, but in general. Part of me thinks it is selfish and I should dump a guy like that in the future, but at the same time the idea of the act (and maybe this is because I'm a heterosexual chick) is pretty gross to me.
Malenfant Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 oral sex is like presents... you dont give, you dont get. Simple as
Malenfant Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 seriously though... for me, half the pleasure of sex is giving. i understand a person not wanting to because they dont know what to do, and fearing they'll look stupid. But no-one knows to begin with. its called learning. I had a BF who didnt even want to touch my bits with his hands cos he said he didnt like how it felt. yeah, that was a really nice thing to say, gave me a total complex for ages until i had been with a couple of other guys who loved it. Then i realised it was him, not me. having to ask for stuff isnt sexy. being told to do stuff however, is very sexy. you could try commanding him to, i think secretly most people like being ordered about in the bedroom!!
HEY LOVE Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 oral sex is like presents... you dont give, you dont get. Simple as I 100% Agree with you. Alot of guys expect oral from women,but do not like giving it back.
randall Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 I casually asked him about it once and he said that I never asked him to. .....Part of me thinks it is selfish and I should dump a guy like that in the future, but at the same time the idea of the act (and maybe this is because I'm a heterosexual chick) is pretty gross to me. So you don't even like the act, yet you want to dump him over it. And if he had gone down on you would you instead be posting about wanting to dump him because he did something that -- in your own words -- was 'pretty gross'? It seems to me that you aren't being logical or fair at all.
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