NopeNah Posted January 22, 2010 Posted January 22, 2010 Is it just another chance to get hurt? Another chance to play the fool? What? Is it that our ego's want it to work out? So, here I am.. I've got the second chance that I thought I wanted. The only problem is.. I don't think it's what I want. During our time apart she was with one guy, I was with several women. Although, none I could see myself with longterm. Anyways....after 7 months or so my ex wanted to make things work. She was going to change. Stop all the bad habits,blah,blah. It's now been roughly two months and nothings changed on her end. Whenever there's an argument she acts as though she could care less about the relationship or me. She say's she cares but, we all know actions, not words, are where it's at. I just don't think I can do this. I don't want to do this. I DESERVE better! At one time she loved me more than anything and she showed it. Now I feel that she is taking the 'comfortable' route. When we first got back together she displayed with her actions that she wanted this to work..now, not so much. I'll admit I do still have MAJOR resentment on the way she ended things before..Cheater! This comes up every so often after a night of drinking on my part. I can't seem to accept it or let it go..why should I have to? She's admitted it was a mistake to end things the way she did..no shlt! Wow..I had/have a lot more to say but,this went from a post for advice, to a rant that answered my on question. Think long and hard before 'praying' for that second chance that's not even worth it,people!
aerogurl87 Posted January 22, 2010 Posted January 22, 2010 Is it just another chance to get hurt? Another chance to play the fool? What? Is it that our ego's want it to work out? So, here I am.. I've got the second chance that I thought I wanted. The only problem is.. I don't think it's what I want. During our time apart she was with one guy, I was with several women. Although, none I could see myself with longterm. Anyways....after 7 months or so my ex wanted to make things work. She was going to change. Stop all the bad habits,blah,blah. It's now been roughly two months and nothings changed on her end. Whenever there's an argument she acts as though she could care less about the relationship or me. She say's she cares but, we all know actions, not words, are where it's at. I just don't think I can do this. I don't want to do this. I DESERVE better! At one time she loved me more than anything and she showed it. Now I feel that she is taking the 'comfortable' route. When we first got back together she displayed with her actions that she wanted this to work..now, not so much. I'll admit I do still have MAJOR resentment on the way she ended things before..Cheater! This comes up every so often after a night of drinking on my part. I can't seem to accept it or let it go..why should I have to? She's admitted it was a mistake to end things the way she did..no shlt! Wow..I had/have a lot more to say but,this went from a post for advice, to a rant that answered my on question. Think long and hard before 'praying' for that second chance that's not even worth it,people! Ok so the stuff I highlighted in bold I think are why your second chance never stood a chance. If you go into any relationship waiting for it to fail, or with lots of baggage, 9 times out of 10 it won't work. That goes for a first time with someone as well as a second. I cheated on my ex and we kept getting back together but one of the main reasons why it didn't work was because like you, he couldn't let the past go. I worked my butt off for 5 months doing any and everything to show him that I was going to be there for him. And all my friends said I was crazy, because I went through hell to get him back, but that resentment was still there so it failed. So here him and I are 5 months or so after our last breakup which was supposed to be the final one. He wants to try and work things out, but as I told him the only way this will work is if he learns to let go of the past. We both hurt each other badly, but I've gotten over what he did. If he's done the same then I'm sure we'll be able to work things out. Thing is I don't want him back so I can feel good about myself. I don't want him back just so I can fix the past. But I do love him, and he knows that. So to me a second chance is a chance to get back on track with my life. I was happy with him and without him, and I always will feel that way. But I don't think him and I were meant to be together then, and I'm not afraid to tell him that. I believe I met the guy I'm supposed to marry, just not at the right time if that makes any sense. So I'm hoping we'll be able to finally have the relationship we both know we're capable of building together. But the only way that will happen is if we can both stop pointing fingers, take responsibility for the hurt we caused each other, and be committed to moving on from that chapter in our lives. If we can do that I'm sure him and I can do anything together.
DenverBachelor Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 It's like trying to sleep in a building long since demolished because you miss your old bedroom.
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