Ariadne Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 "No problem at all, I will give you a call mid-week to set up another date!" Oh, oh. I wouldn´t be holding my breath. (But if he doesn´t follow he´s a smoker anyway).
datingrev01 Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 That would have been a great date..but stop blaming yourself for what happened maybe you were just bothered or confused that time that you lied to your date. anyways, if you dont like him you can still communicate with him online and have a chance to apologize on things you've done on your date. at least you'll not be guilty of it.
Pink Cupcakes Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 I was going to say "no big deal, why would you leave a date over that" until you said he was a smoker. That alone is enough to forget about him. Next!
Chicago_Guy Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 Something about the dynamic impelled you to change your natural set point. I presume you've had such discussions in your past R's and they didn't cause you substantial distress. What about this date/man is different? His disclosures didn't exactly exemplify the epitome of stability, given that he barely worked on a marriage with a child involved and burdened his ex with the entire responsibility for the M's failure. Think about that. What's really going on here? IMO, focus on the positives and accept one more invitation and see if it's possible to build on the positives. If the anxiety is overwhelming, let it go. Perhaps it's just the wrong kind of chemistry at this time. Best wishes I agree with you. It does seem as though the guy got married, had a kid right away, and then just gave up on the marriage for whatever reason all within a relatively short period of time. If his ex- truly does have mental/emotional problems, she probably also had them before they got married, so did he get married in the first place? I don't understand why the OP told an elaborate lie, but this guy doesn't sound like much of a prize anyway.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted January 28, 2010 Author Posted January 28, 2010 I agree with you. It does seem as though the guy got married, had a kid right away, and then just gave up on the marriage for whatever reason all within a relatively short period of time. If his ex- truly does have mental/emotional problems, she probably also had them before they got married, so did he get married in the first place? I don't understand why the OP told an elaborate lie, but this guy doesn't sound like much of a prize anyway. He says she had really bad post-natal depression and he couldn't take it. He basically left 6 months after his son was born...which doesn't sit right with me either (if he is even telling the truth). Anyway, I have decided not to see him again. He called me earlier today to ask for a Saturday night dinner and movie and I told him I have other plans (I don't but I didn't know what else to say). He asked me if I am "blowing him off" and I told him that after some thinking I decided that it was for the best not to take things further and that there are better matches out there for both of us. I think that his chain-smoking coupled with his insensitivity and intolerance of any mental and emotional issues, the fact that he has ex-wife and a son AND my mediocre physical attraction to him are reasons enough to let him go.
Barky Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 his insensitivity and intolerance of any mental and emotional issues ...which you clearly have, no offense. You did him a favor.
Pink Cupcakes Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 You made the right decision! He sounds like a total loser!
ella23 Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 So he left his wife because she had post natal depression? And just after 6 months of his son being born? That does sound like a red flag.
Barky Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 Think that's bad? I dated a woman whose husband left her 2 weeks before their daughter was born.
ella23 Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 Think that's bad? I dated a woman whose husband left her 2 weeks before their daughter was born. My point is that S&C is right in her assessment that this guy is intolerant towards emotional issues. Leaving his wife who suffered from depression after just 6 months of his son's birth proves that.
Barky Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 eh.. I don't think there's a whole lot of "proof" when it comes to analyzing people you've never met from a few words on an internet message board. The OP may be a 16 year old boy having a laugh, or "she" might not be telling the whole story, or whatever. Let's just call it a wash and move on.
ella23 Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 Goodness. Assuming that she is 'real', that's what I think.
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