aerogurl87 Posted January 22, 2010 Posted January 22, 2010 I don't know if this would be more suited for the Second Chances forum, but here goes. This morning my ex (not the recent ex but the other one) texted me out of the blue and said he missed his friend. I was half sleep so I asked him what he was talking about and he went on to tell me he missed me. Granted I thought he had moved on or something since we hadn't talked in a week. So then later tonight he texted me again. This time he said he wanted to fly me up to see him so we could talk. Claims he misses me, loves me still, and wants to get back together. I still love him, true, but I told him my head is pretty messed up from all the stuff that's been going on for the past few months. He said that was ok and for me to take all the time I need to think but he'd be here for me. So I've decided to do just that. I'm going to focus on school and nothing else for the next few months and then take a step back and reevaluate everything. If my ex is still around and I can see a real change in him and that he wants to work to make our relationship work, then I'll go see him, if not, then oh well. I'm just kind of shocked though really because this is not the same guy I knew 6 months ago. If it were six months ago my ex would've thrown a tantrum if I claimed to need space and demanded an answer right away. He also wouldn't have taken responsibility for his actions like he did tonight when I confronted him about our breakup finally. I was actually quite impressed. So my question is do you think it's possible for someone to change and mature that much over six months? I mean my ex seems to have grown alot and gotten his life together more. Although this could be an illusion so I'm still not holding my breath.
SoulSearch_CO Posted January 22, 2010 Posted January 22, 2010 Is this the ex that you said something about his sister told you how F'd up he is, or something? I think a break is a very good thing, aerogurl. You sound pretty confused to me. Get your head clear before even talking to him again.
Author aerogurl87 Posted January 22, 2010 Author Posted January 22, 2010 Is this the ex that you said something about his sister told you how F'd up he is, or something? I think a break is a very good thing, aerogurl. You sound pretty confused to me. Get your head clear before even talking to him again. Yep it's him. I know he's bipolar, so he's always pretty messed up in the head when he's going through one of his episodes. And he has some other issues that have pretty much scarred him for life, but I won't go into detail about that. Yeah I know I need a break and I told him that. I just need to get my head clear with no distractions and then decide what it is I want and whether or not it will be good for me. If he really wants me he'll be patient, I figure. If not, oh well. Although I don't expect him not to date while I try to clear my head.
txsilkysmoothe Posted January 22, 2010 Posted January 22, 2010 So my question is do you think it's possible for someone to change and mature that much over six months? I mean my ex seems to have grown alot and gotten his life together more. Although this could be an illusion so I'm still not holding my breath. No, I have doubts that is possible. People do this all the time - go back and recycle exes. I think a small percentage work out but usually the relationship ends AGAIN and for the same reasons. I would suggest contacting him in a month and see if he still seems as interested in you as he does now. That will help you determine how much of your thoughts and feelings you should invest in the "possibility" that you may be together. Best wishes........
Author aerogurl87 Posted January 22, 2010 Author Posted January 22, 2010 No, I have doubts that is possible. People do this all the time - go back and recycle exes. I think a small percentage work out but usually the relationship ends AGAIN and for the same reasons. I would suggest contacting him in a month and see if he still seems as interested in you as he does now. That will help you determine how much of your thoughts and feelings you should invest in the "possibility" that you may be together. Best wishes........ We were NC for about 4 months txsilkysmoothe, but I suppose your right. I talked to his sister and she said his bipolar episodes have became more frequent, so that's what I meant by he's still messed up. Although as I said I know the reasons behind his screwed up mentality and if I went through what he went through I'd probably be insane by now myself. Also we've discussed why the relationship ended. We both made mistakes that caused our relationship to end but I think the break we took from each other was good for us both. We needed to be away from each other for awhile. But I'm going to wait and see if he's serious about being patient and wanting to work things out. If he is, then I'm sure we can at the least try to be together one last time.
Porn_Guy Posted January 22, 2010 Posted January 22, 2010 So my question is do you think it's possible for someone to change and mature that much over six months? no its not possible, if u get back together he'll just revert to his old ways
Author aerogurl87 Posted January 22, 2010 Author Posted January 22, 2010 no its not possible, if u get back together he'll just revert to his old ways I would agree with you but if I went into all of this with that attitude then that would mean that I'd revert back to my old self, which is not going to happen. Or maybe I'm just a big optimist.
You'reasian Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 I would agree with you but if I went into all of this with that attitude then that would mean that I'd revert back to my old self, which is not going to happen. Or maybe I'm just a big optimist. big optimist > small optimist give it a shot, see what happens.
Author aerogurl87 Posted January 23, 2010 Author Posted January 23, 2010 big optimist > small optimist give it a shot, see what happens. Thanks you'reasian. I mean I see everyone's point that if he didn't change then, why should he change now. But I still have a little hope for him.
You'reasian Posted January 23, 2010 Posted January 23, 2010 Thanks you'reasian. I mean I see everyone's point that if he didn't change then, why should he change now. But I still have a little hope for him. Call the guy up some time in the near future. Engage him in some casual conversation and gauge him on the topic.
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