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a little confusion

Lucky555

By Lucky555
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Lucky555 Established Member

Lucky555

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Does exclusive mean in a relationship? When you are exclusive with someone you are NO LONGER SINGLE? is this right?

 

What is it called when someone decides just to not sleep with anyone else?

 

Apparently im confused

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Lucky555 Established Member

Lucky555

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i think i finally have the term isn't it called "friends with benefits" as to what i am referring to?

bac Established Member

bac

Posted
Posted
Does exclusive mean in a relationship? When you are exclusive with someone you are NO LONGER SINGLE? is this right?

 

What is it called when someone decides just to not sleep with anyone else?

 

Apparently im confused

 

Exclusive means in a realationship. It means that you sleep only with your BF/or GF. It is called that you are attached.

I guess you are still called single because you are not married.

 

FWBs are sleeping with everyone they want.

Porn_Guy Established Member

Porn_Guy

Posted
Posted
Does exclusive mean in a relationship? When you are exclusive with someone you are NO LONGER SINGLE? is this right?

 

What is it called when someone decides just to not sleep with anyone else?

 

Apparently im confused

you're still single if you are "exclusive" but you are monogamous and sleep with only one person. you stay single until you get married.

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Lucky555 Established Member

Lucky555

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you're still single if you are "exclusive" but you are monogamous and sleep with only one person. you stay single until you get married.

 

Its a relationship then with the other person? they are your bf or gf?

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Lucky555 Established Member

Lucky555

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Exclusive means in a realationship. It means that you sleep only with your BF/or GF. It is called that you are attached.

I guess you are still called single because you are not married.

 

FWBs are sleeping with everyone they want.

 

 

So what if the person doesn't say the word exclusive and say they wont sleep with anyone else? DOes that change things?

bac Established Member

bac

Posted
Posted
Its a relationship then with the other person? they are your bf or gf?

 

It depends on your sexual orientation. If you f..k a male, you call your partner a BF. If you f...k a girl, you call your partner a GF.

boogieboy Established Member

boogieboy

Posted
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So what if the person doesn't say the word exclusive and say they wont sleep with anyone else? DOes that change things?

 

 

That means they are using you until someone better comes along. Means they are still looking.

bac Established Member

bac

Posted
Posted (edited)
So what if the person doesn't say the word exclusive and say they wont sleep with anyone else? DOes that change things?

It does not change things if you yourself do not sleep with other people as well. Did he ask you not to sleep with other guys?

it means that he wants to be exclusive. He wants you to say that you won't sleep with anyone else except him.

If you do not want to be exclusive with him, you may want to say him that you are both just FWBs. Say him that it is great to be FWBs and that he should be thankful for having a FWB.

Ask him if he wants to be exclusive to make sure that you understand him.

Edited by bac
dreamergrl Established Member

dreamergrl

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FBW doesn't mean you're sleeping with anyone you want. You can have an exclusive FWB relationship, just choosing not to be in a full solid relationship.

 

To me exclusive means that you are only with that one person and no one else.

meerkat stew Established Member

meerkat stew

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OK here's what you do. Take a piece of paper and write "Do you like me? check yes or no" and put a yes and no checkbox on there....

 

OK seriously, if he said he wouldn't sleep with anyone else that's as good as saying exclusive. You were already in a relationship, now you are in an exclusive relationship.

 

As far as the FB thing, I wouldn't bring it up, people like to change their status at their own pace, and some people, like myself, always leave it single because it's none of my whole FB friend group's business unless I'm married. Lots of people don't use FB as a relationship weathervane for everyone they know ;)... lots of -smart- people ;)

tami-chan Established Member

tami-chan

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OK here's what you do. Take a piece of paper and write "Do you like me? check yes or no" and put a yes and no checkbox on there....

 

LOL!!!!!:laugh:

 

OK seriously, if he said he wouldn't sleep with anyone else that's as good as saying exclusive. You were already in a relationship, now you are in an exclusive relationship.
If I slept with someone, that means I will be exclusive to him, I expect the guy to do the same. I don't understand why that does not follow.
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Lucky555 Established Member

Lucky555

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I have some different responses and I am still not sure of what to believe.

 

I am going to talk to him and say that I'm looking for a relationship and not just sex.

 

The line of "im not going to sleep with anyone else" just doesn't say "I want a relationship"

 

Here are things that i think this can be interpreted as.

 

1. we only see each other to hook up

2. He is not going to emotionally invest himself and use me just for sex

3. He wants sex and doesn't want a relationship.

 

Also here is whats going on..it is now almost a month and we talk all week but have only seen each other one time! I will see him again soon. However, we have been friends for years. I can't see him during the week but i could see him on a friday night during the week. I have a busy schedule. So i am wiling to make it work but im concerned with how "LITTLE" time we have spent together.

 

Now does this change what you believe? I am going to talk to him this weekend so I may be walking away. This is because went i asked him if he wanted to be exclusive he DID NOT say yes...He said wouldn't sleep with other people.

mansquito Member

mansquito

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If I slept with someone, that means I will be exclusive to him, I expect the guy to do the same. I don't understand why that does not follow.

 

Maybe you should make it clear from the get-go. Not everybody shares your expectations or assumptions.

bac Established Member

bac

Posted
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As a general rule, if you are people older than 26, you start talking about exclusivity after 6 months of a relationship which involves sex and close contact.

 

I mentioned people who are older than 26 because I assume that it is about the age when people become mature emotionally, reasonable, serious and have common sence.

meerkat stew Established Member

meerkat stew

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.

 

Now does this change what you believe? I am going to talk to him this weekend so I may be walking away. This is because went i asked him if he wanted to be exclusive he DID NOT say yes...He said wouldn't sleep with other people.

 

People do conduct relationships where they see each other only once a month, but they are not ideal of course. This sounds like the true source of your frustration. I think you are making a bit too much of the semantic issue here of how he chose to answer your question. There are no magic words, and even if there were, the -trust- between two involved people is the key, not the specific words.

 

Is this your first relationship in awhile? If so, try to take a breath, slow down, and let things unfold as they will. You are working yourself into a bad mental place with the worry. Try to enjoy the new relationship more than constantly questioning it.

txsilkysmoothe Established Member

txsilkysmoothe

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My Definitions (but what do I know)

 

A.) Real Relationship - romantic, perhaps sexual, the only type of relationship that can lead to love; exclusivity is assumed; (lack of exclusivity is cheating)

 

B.) Sexual Relationship (aka FB) - it's just about the sex; persons are free to date others and begin Real Relationships with others; no emotional investment; (may or may not be sexually exclusive)

 

C.) FWB - same as Sexual Relationship but supposedly participants are "friends" and neither has a romantic interest in the other; I've never seen one where one person wasn't crushing on the other; If you have feelings for a man, do not be his FWB. (Think of it this way - he likes to spend time with you and likes to have sex with you but doesn't think you are worthy of his love; though having sex with you, he will be looking for a woman he can love and when he finds her he will stop being your friend because he doesn't have a use for you anymore or the new girlfriend doesn't want him to or some other reason that will make it clear you were never really friends)

 

You can transition from A to B or C

You can never transition from B or C to A - most people say (if possible, it's not very likely)

You can move freely, back and forth, between B and C

tami-chan Established Member

tami-chan

Posted
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Maybe you should make it clear from the get-go. Not everybody shares your expectations or assumptions.

 

Yes, you are right...but I have not and will not sleep with anyone who does not see me as a "keeper"... and vice versa. I know, I am no fun...:p

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Lucky555 Established Member

Lucky555

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Yes, you are right...but I have not and will not sleep with anyone who does not see me as a "keeper"... and vice versa. I know, I am no fun...:p

 

I am the same..it just doesn't make sense to me to keep a guy around that doesn't want the same things as i do. I rather be single and still looking for someone who wants the same than be miserable with someone who doesn't.

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