my ex rebounding with her ex??

[sparky26m]

so my long story is,,me and my ex are 26(me) 28(her) we lived together 2 years,,relashonship 2.5 years,,we were really happy in our little house and then her parents said,,,come live with us and save for a mortgage,,i dint i was selfish and bought a car instead! arrogant pig i know,,but i was listening to alot of the wrong advice from a former friend.then i basically walked out on my ex as we livd with her folks on a farm,,( last july)i couldnt handle the scary family stuff coz ive had a bad childhood etc and i treated her bad all the time we lived there,,rowing,,calling her names,,taking her confidence away,,,i was an idiot ,,i know that now,,,she woul always love me and come back to me,,when i left in summer i moved out and recovered a broken leg that i had..she was desperate to make a go of things and as usual i was like er yeah well see,,,******* i know! coz i was in control the whole time,,anyway i broke it off completely and we went seperate ways,,2 weeks later i call her and ask to meet,,she does ,,i say i will change,,less work and friends more here,,so she says yes ok,,i move into a flat by myself and find myself realiseing how depressed iam on my own and whilst she wants to go all out again,, i hold back,,and push her away,,trlling her to leave me alone and she doesnt really want me etc,, ,,,now i was abusive verbally and so bad to her i know now through bad times and therapy that ive had childhood issues that i need to resolve and AM moving 4ward,,,

now as far as i was concerned we were on a kinda break,,she said she didt want me to end it all ovr again and why didnt i want to spend time with her,,i put my head into work didnt talk to her 4 a week,,,,,now i saw on her facebook that her freind said about a dude she had texted!!! i paniked and went str8 to her place( where i used to live) she was out,,i looked at her facebook and bam it hit me,,,,she was talking to another guy for a week or so whilst i was busy( ******* i know) so she arranges to meet the guy the night i saw this,,,,now she sent her friend a message saying how she liked this guy soooo much,,,she was just gonna ask him outright if he liked her!!!! now i went to talk to her,,,she said there is nothing to discuss and to leave,,,i said what about this guy,,she saud there was no guy,,i siad id seen her facebook acccount ,,and she said ok ,,yeah she likes him and realized that by liking another guy she dosnt want me anymore,,,,of course i did all usual stuff,,,begging,,,flowers,,message after message,,,,she replied slowly saying it was over at the minute,,maybe in the future she just dont know,,,now she is a gen nice girl she wudnt mess with my head,,,,i tell her ill change etc etcmmshe says too much water has gone under the bridge but she would love to be friends in the future but nothing is happening with this guy as she wants to be single for a bit,,,he messed her around i think,,,,,so i ring her a week later and say i need to talk,,she says please leave me ,,im happier without u ,,,i dont love u,,i care 4 u v much ,,but i dont even miss u,,,,i say ok and leave it,,,now xmas passes she send me a msg saying happy xmas and thanks 4 card i sennt her parents thanking them for letting me stay there ( i think her mum has big say in things and ive been so selfish im bad in her mums eyes),,,i dont reply,,,,i text her in new yr to say hne and i will have money i owe her( ten thousand pounds) from sale of my sports car as i want to pay her back now were over,,,she says thanks,,,,,so i see her tonight,,approx 6 weeks after she kinda ended things,,,i give her the money in her house and say can i talk to u,,,,she asks where am i living as she hasent seen my car at flat,,i tell her my bros as i need to sort myself out and need my family around me,,,,,,she asks am i going away traveeling as i said i might do,,i tell her not yet and she says ok,,,,,i ask to talk sitting down and she says yes ,,i telll her im genuinly sorry for the paini caused her and the way i treated her but living in the circle of her family sent me insane and i couldnt hack it and im sorry and have had therapy and am dealing with my issues and know i cant carry on being like this to ppl,,,,she says thats ok,,,and tells me to go find happiness and i say same,,,i tell her i want to be her friend and am here for here ,,she says she is sorry for ending things but it was 4 the best,,i agree that it was and she sholdnt feel guilty as i was an *******,,,she deserved better,,i really meant it,,,,she tells me that the girl of my dreams is out there,,and to go find her,,and have family etc,,,i tell her that i wanted family with her,,,and she says even in november when we got things back on she wanted me 4 ever and a family etc,,but that the love she had 4 me just died over time ,,i was a jerk i acept that,,,,,ive told her im truley sorry,,ive sold my car to be a good guy and give her the money she is owed,,,i tell her she will always be special to me and she says same back,,i ask her is anyone new on scene,,,she says not the original guy,,,but her ex from 8 years ago,,who she dated 4 2 yrs,,never lived together,,,she always told me he treated her bad,,evn hit her!! i said i was suprised by this and she said,,oh he has changed! i say ok are u happy,,,she says its been on for 2 weeks and she is really happy with him and they are in a relashionship!!!,,,,

my question is ,,,is she really over me and want me to see other girls and have family and be happy,,,i saw in her eyes that she looked like she meant it,,,or is there a glimmer of hope,,,i think she can see ive changed,,,and she says i need to keep changing so i dont break anyone eles heart lke i broke hers in summer,,,,she started to get a lil upset when i said ,,when u really love someone u gotta let them go,,she said she will always be there for me and when i left she gave me 3 big hugs and i kissed her on cheek, held her hand and whispered in her ear,,,be happy,,,,now im really not expexting anything,,,i screwed up ,,i know that,,but id be interested as to everyones opinions,,,many thanks

[Silver_star]

sounds to me like u were a jerk and u got what u deserved. Karmaaa! Oh and i dont think u changed at all..u knew what you were doing the whole time taking advantage of her and how much she cared, and now your trying to say youve changed so you cacn get that control back. Im happy that shes moved on to someone who is more caring. Maybe learn from this for the future.

[RedDevil66]

can you break up the paragraphs

hard to read

[sparky26m]

mate i know i was a jerk,,i ve been an idiot,,i truley know that and im sorry for the way i was,,,but i want to change,,give her the money let her be happy,,thats what i told her ,be happy,,,,

i just have realised things too late,,i know that and she said she wishes i did this back when we were trying but she has moved on,

all im asking for is advice on why she would get with an ex who was really awfull to her like 5 years ago,,she used to tell me he was a monster and now she is back with him,,,

maybe she always wanted him back or maybe he is a rebound? i dont know,,,all i know is she really still cares for me and she wanted to hug 3 times,,and it felt good to me

maybe im deluded,,i just want to be a good guy from now on ,i really do,,

she has moved on i think as she wanted this other guy to get serious after a date and now with her ex,,,wham desperate 4 a relaionship,,but i think she is one of those girls who loves being in a relationship,,

all this in 6 weeks of her calling it a day at being fed up with me messing her around. just cant see how she loved me and wanted me 6 weeks ago and know she wants me to find someone else and she wants her bad ex !!!!!!!!!!!help

[sparky26m]

i 4got to say,,,b 4 xmas my mum sent her a message on fb saying how upset it was to hear it was over,,she didnt respond to my mum,,2 weeks ago my mum,unbeknown to me,, sent her a message on fb saying happy new year etc and that i have been upset and know ive messed up,,,,,

my ex responded saying happy new year and that she was truley devestated by what has happened,,but she cant fight for the relationship by herself and that too many problems existed to even discuss,,and she finished by saying,,,i just think its for the best right now,,,

[Silver_star]

why is she with her ex now? Hmm, well he was awful to her, but maybe he has also changed, and he did that while the two of you were together, and he was able to sweep her away from you so fast because they have had a previous connection. Maybe she wants to see where this road takes her, and she needs her space from you. There is no telling what will happen in the future, but dont try to intervene in her relationship and make her miserable because she will read right through you, and it will push her furthur into his arms. Let her be, and if your relationship was meant to be...maybe she will come back. But if your the same guy, she is gonna find out sooner or later and you know she is capable of leaving your ass. So work on yourself in this time.

[sparky26m]

thanks for the reply,,,,im gonna keep away.

i told her im happy she is happy and that is what its all about. she wants to be good friends so its for her to contact me,,

im gonna work on myself and sort myself out. im truley happy if she is happy. i just cant see why she wants to jump in with any guy that she talks to , if she was over me,,which i can see in her eyes she looks like she is and thats what she says,,surely would want to be single and not get str8 into another relationship,,bit i think she has always loved the relationship thing so its just her way