Dtali07 Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 I have been with my bf for over 6 years. We got engaged and then we went through a rough patch and I broke off the engagement because it seemed as soon as he made the commitment and proposed, he completely changed - like he felt like a cornered deer (mind you i never even hinted that he propose but we were so close that it wasn't unexpected). In the beginning of our relationship I had a huge problem with jealousy and insecurity and I was terrible with money and he is the complete opposite. When we broke up I went into therapy and worked through all of my issues, read a lot of books, etc and just became a different person and felt SO much better about myself. I changed my life, got my degree and started being an extrovert. We ended up being friends again and before long were dating. It has been 2.5 years since we started back together and things have been wonderful. We have a lot of laughs and fun together, we talk for hours on the phone, we are the couple making out in the line at the supermarket. We decided to get married last year but it seemed like he was dragging his feet. I got fed up and broke it off and then he decided he couldnt be apart from me and he said lets get married. So we've been planning all along and now that we were close to setting an actual date, he is spazzing out on me again. I know that he has commitment issues - not to excuse them - but he is the type of person who has trouble planning things. If it's spontaneous he is all for it... I feel like we are on the verge and I don't know what to do. I love him, respect and admire him and he is very good to me. I'm just so confused. Any helpful (please nothing harsh - I am really feeling fragile) comments would be so appreciated.
stillafool Posted January 22, 2010 Posted January 22, 2010 I would express these concerns to him. Tell him you have noticed a difference in him since you became engaged. Ask him if he only proposed to get you back. Some men will try drastic measures to win you back but that doesn't mean he doesn't love you or want to marry you. If you feel secure enough tell him the two of you can call off the engagement if he isn't ready. I doubt he will want to do this but it will take the pressure off of him and make him relax. Let him know he is not "trapped".
Author Dtali07 Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 thx for the kind advice. i really appreciate it. i have brought up the suggestion to meet with a pastor we both respect for help sorting things out.
Recommended Posts