McGrupp Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 for you people in the midst, just keep chugging along and know it does get better. time. everyone says it. its so hard to. but chug along. focus on work. rebound if you have to. take a trip (this helped me a lot). anything to get out of your head. but it will hurt so much. im still there but now its like a dull pain, and longing. thats it. not so much the craziness where everyday seems like a fog and you want to die and cry and hold them and tell them to **** off and all of it. when you get there, and you will, come bak and tell others because i would latch onto a thread just like this about 3 months ago at about 4:30am and dream to be here. it will come and you will be happy again.
Author McGrupp Posted January 21, 2010 Author Posted January 21, 2010 i will say it took me about 3 months b4 i was out of the fog. NC i did not practice very well. lol
USMCHokie Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 Good to hear that you're well on the road to recovery...you're right...all of us have been through, but all of us have or will come out better people... I will agree with you about taking a trip...it helped me out A LOT...just being around old friends in a new place made me think less and less about the ex...
Howitzer Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 I just want to add to McGrupp. I too am past that initial shock period, and it's much better. To those out there still feeling absolutely devastated, know that it will pass. I still feel sad when I stop and think about things, but my life is going pretty well in the meantime. It's good to be on track again. You'll all get there.
bananaboat11 Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 for you people in the midst, just keep chugging along and know it does get better. time. everyone says it. its so hard to. but chug along. focus on work. rebound if you have to. take a trip (this helped me a lot). anything to get out of your head. but it will hurt so much. im still there but now its like a dull pain, and longing. thats it. not so much the craziness where everyday seems like a fog and you want to die and cry and hold them and tell them to **** off and all of it. when you get there, and you will, come bak and tell others because i would latch onto a thread just like this about 3 months ago at about 4:30am and dream to be here. it will come and you will be happy again. I wish I may... I wish I might... I wish upon the first star I see tonight...
sedgwick Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 I still cry over him after 2.5 years. The anguished, unable to eat, sobbing every day part lasted about six months, and he's still the first thing I think of in the morning and the last thing I think of at night. I still tell him I love him every day, out loud, into the air, just hoping maybe he'll somehow feel it if he ever needs it. I can honestly say there hasn't been one second in all this time when I haven't thought of him. I have nightmares about him more nights than not. I feel like I'm dying, like I'll never be happy again. I took a trip -- ran off to Mexico and cried in the jungle for two months, wondering if he would contact me when I returned. (He didn't; I really doubt he even remembers me.) To those of you who feel better after a few months, I salute you. I wonder if I'll ever feel better. At this point I've just kind of given up.
single Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 Feeling a bit better myself this week, nearly 2 months in and i can cope with seeing her when i pick my daughter up, finally started eating better and working out more so I feel i am moving in the right direction but i realise there is still good way to go yet. I basically have been going out to a local bar and drinking for weeks such as after work and weekends with new and old friends and have been pretty drunk a good few times. That was my way of coping i know people say don't drink etc but i think if i had sat in the house alone those first few weeks blaming myself for everything and feeling sorry for myself all the time then i would have been in a much worse place than now. So for all the newbies in the last few days take comfort in this thread like I did 2 months ago you will get there in your own time and stop blaming yourself for everything it is never just one persons fault. I guess the real test will be when I see her out with some bloke or she tells me she has met someone although i have always suspected a 3rd party is already hiding in the shadows waiting. I have noticed though the ex looks so unhappy and a bit sulky and angry with me when i go to the house even though she dumped me and refused to try any sort of counseling etc maybe the grass isn't greener or she doesn't like seeing me move on with life being a happier person and looking better from working out etc. oh well you reap what you sow oh agree with the trip idea going to head for some sun in the next month or two.
sunrae Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 for you people in the midst, just keep chugging along and know it does get better. time. everyone says it. its so hard to. but chug along. focus on work. rebound if you have to. take a trip (this helped me a lot). anything to get out of your head. but it will hurt so much. im still there but now its like a dull pain, and longing. thats it. not so much the craziness where everyday seems like a fog and you want to die and cry and hold them and tell them to **** off and all of it. when you get there, and you will, come bak and tell others because i would latch onto a thread just like this about 3 months ago at about 4:30am and dream to be here. it will come and you will be happy again. So True.....
HeavenOrHell Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 So glad for you McGrupp! I'm still stuck in it 6 months on, still trying to decide between the wonderful choices of whether to still see him and have the pain which goes with it, or to not see him and have the pain that goes with that. Great. I will post here down the line IF I ever feel better:rolleyes:
kiran Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 I'm at beginning of it now; I've been crying for hours and it just won't stop. The pain; anguish; I want it to stop! How can someone who loves me (says he still does), just turn off his feelings and let go? She wouldn't leave him alone, he gave in. I got dumped. I called in to work today, don't know how I'm going to make it through the day.
HeavenOrHell Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 I sympathise hun, and the nightmares are horrible, last night I had one which I woke from because I dreamt of how bad I felt, how rejected and heartbroken I am, felt so bad in the dream that I woke up. No escape! PM me any time hun I still cry over him after 2.5 years. The anguished, unable to eat, sobbing every day part lasted about six months, and he's still the first thing I think of in the morning and the last thing I think of at night. I still tell him I love him every day, out loud, into the air, just hoping maybe he'll somehow feel it if he ever needs it. I can honestly say there hasn't been one second in all this time when I haven't thought of him. I have nightmares about him more nights than not. I feel like I'm dying, like I'll never be happy again. I took a trip -- ran off to Mexico and cried in the jungle for two months, wondering if he would contact me when I returned. (He didn't; I really doubt he even remembers me.) To those of you who feel better after a few months, I salute you. I wonder if I'll ever feel better. At this point I've just kind of given up.
Austen Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 for you people in the midst, just keep chugging along and know it does get better. time. everyone says it. its so hard to. but chug along. focus on work. rebound if you have to. take a trip (this helped me a lot). anything to get out of your head. but it will hurt so much. im still there but now its like a dull pain, and longing. thats it. not so much the craziness where everyday seems like a fog and you want to die and cry and hold them and tell them to **** off and all of it. when you get there, and you will, come bak and tell others because i would latch onto a thread just like this about 3 months ago at about 4:30am and dream to be here. it will come and you will be happy again. Thank-you for this post.
Author McGrupp Posted January 21, 2010 Author Posted January 21, 2010 for you newcomers i had some of the worst nights on here. if you search my threads there was a good 5 weeks span where i was just looking for ways to kill myself. i was on the phone with the suicide hotline. i was posting on here constantly. i think if you are younger you should read "its called a break up because its broken" that one book i think helped me more then anything. also, "the journey from abandonment to healing" im not sure if i will ever stop regretting how i handled my break up and the mistakes i made to drive her away more. its strange. ill get past i believe when i meet someone else but who knows when that will be. but...anyway...if you need hope, not that they will come back, but that you will feel better, then follow my posts through an arc of all the 5 stages of grief. its like bear grylls says: when your lost in the woods, just keep moving.
LovelyDaze Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 Hello, darling McGrupp! I am so proud of your progress and hope to keep getting out of that breakup purgatory with you very soon. I Think we are all doing very well! One foot in front of the other..soon we will be running wild, happy and free....
bananaboat11 Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 for you newcomers i had some of the worst nights on here. if you search my threads there was a good 5 weeks span where i was just looking for ways to kill myself. i was on the phone with the suicide hotline. i was posting on here constantly. i think if you are younger you should read "its called a break up because its broken" that one book i think helped me more then anything. also, "the journey from abandonment to healing" im not sure if i will ever stop regretting how i handled my break up and the mistakes i made to drive her away more. its strange. ill get past i believe when i meet someone else but who knows when that will be. but...anyway...if you need hope, not that they will come back, but that you will feel better, then follow my posts through an arc of all the 5 stages of grief. its like bear grylls says: when your lost in the woods, just keep moving. All I can say is thank you.
USMCHokie Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 im not sure if i will ever stop regretting how i handled my break up and the mistakes i made to drive her away more. Don't regret those mistakes you made...look at where you're at now after having made those mistakes...a much better person...a much stronger person...don't ever regret mistakes made as they are the learning experiences that mold who we are and who we become... It's like the old stove burner adage...until you touch that hot stove burner, you won't know never to touch it again...same here...until you've made those mistakes, you won't ever know what not to do... I came onto LS about 3 months after my own breakup...and looking back now, I think it was good that I came late to the party...I made every mistake you could have made...and I'm sure if I had joined LS earlier and known about NC and all that, I would have done things differently. But I would have never felt the consequences of doing things wrong... Every day, I see new members that come on, tell their story, and ask for advice. They get the customary NC guides and are told to stay strong. But a majority of these new members doubt NC...they have faith that they're breakup is different from all the others...but they hesitantly put our advice to action. Unfortunately, they will never know the true value of the "right way" to do things until they've done them the "wrong way" themselves and experienced all the pain that comes along with it...touching the proverbial hot burner...
GrayClouds Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 I sympathise hun, and the nightmares are horrible, last night I had one which I woke from because I dreamt of how bad I felt, how rejected and heartbroken I am, felt so bad in the dream that I woke up. No escape! PM me any time hun There is things that you can do to help. Pen, Paper and write. An hour before write all your feelings and pain. Spelling and grammar does not count. The harder and faster you write the better. The physical effort of getting it out before you lay down does help with the dreams.
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