If you knew you loved someone how long would you wait for them to return the feelings

[charlenecas]

Around June of 2009, I had a long conversation with one of my daughter's friend's father. The conversation lasted for hours. I could have sworn there was a connection. The next day I found out from the daughter that he had a girlfriend. Then not too much later I heard through the grapevine they broke up. During this period we would run in to eachother briefly and talk but never talked like we did that first night. Then there was a period where he got involved with another girl which I am hearing now they broke up or are on the outs. He seems to be loosening up a bit and now I feel we are falling into the category of friends. When I look at the other parents or my daughter's friends, I do not have a relationship at all with these people. But with this guy, and of course his daughter, we are closer than that, but I don't know what you would call it. It's not like he has ever asked me out for a cup of coffee or even invited us over for dinner, but there is interaction now more than ever and it is because the two children are the best of friends, even though they don't go to the same school any longer. Their friendship is wanted by both of them, and they are only 10. I have had these feelings for him since June and it is now January. I have opportunities to go out on dates and even my ex-boyfriend I know would want another go at it but I just don't have the heart to do it. I can't shake this guy out of my brain no matter how hard I try. Communication seems to have picked up a bit--as I said the daughters do not go to school together--so there is the pick up/drop off that goes on for the benefit of the girls. I drop her off for sleepovers, wise versa, we communicate over that. Even last night he called and asked my opinion about something that involved his daughter and wanted my opinion. I know he sees value in this. And I know like I said there is more there between us than what I experience with other parents. Before anyone says say something to him--I don't want to do that because if I am wrong and he has no remote interest whatsoever, it could be really embarrassing for me and I don't want to wreck anything for the girls. I have one male friend who says if he was interested he would have done something by now, that since he hasn't, he's "just not that into you". I have another friend who says with the relationship isssues he has had and the downfalls of them, compiled with the fact that the two daughters would be in the middle of this and it could cause issues for the friendship if something would happen--he might be opting to not even touch this because of the possible complications. Any other advice would be nice.

[whichwayisup]

Honestly, this is abit of a sticky situation because of the kids. I wouldn't do anything at all. If he is interested in you, he will in some way let you know by asking you out, or inviting you and your daughter for dinner. It could be something, or maybe he just honestly likes the friendship. Either way, you both need to think of the girls involved and how it'll affect them.

[charlenecas]

Thanks. I knew it was sticky because he has certainly had unsteadiness at home because whenever a relationship would go sour, it would in some way affect his family, so I too thought well if this was something he casually followed up on and then it blew up, it would be devastating to the girls, especially since his daughter doesn't have any friends at her new school and she is best friends with my daughter. If this is the reason, I can understand it. But of course I have been having the insecure, "what's wrong with me" blues. From what I have heard, I am much more of a put together person than these other woman, but of course this is coming from a 10 year old. I dropped his daughter off with my daughter to a club meeting tonight and she hugged me and told me she loved me. Yeah it is complicated but I am so wrapped up in this family. I guess you are right that it could be that he enjoys what it is which is less complicated. I just have to hope that my mind can divert away from this over time if nothing happens.