fooled once Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 I see this all the time lately on here.... what the hell does that mean??? Is it justification for falling for a married person? Is it justification for staying in an affair (an affair where the OW/OM wants an exclusive relationship with the M person ~ not the affairs were the OW/OM are content to be the OW/OM)? What is this suppose to mean??
whichwayisup Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 The heart may want what it wants, but it takes the person who has the heart to put effort to keep the feelings alive. To choose to follow the heart, in wrong circumstances and not choose to use the brain is what obviously leads to affairs. That and selfishness, possibly weakness too.
alphamale Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 What is this suppose to mean?? it means that people make bad decisions when they only listen to their feelings
MizzBlue72 Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 I think it can mean that yes, maybe you fall for someone BUT your head needs to engage!!! You either go forward with the affair or you don't - that simple. The heart wants the heart wants is a cop out.
Trialbyfire Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 How did the heart get involved in the first place, when the other person is previously committed? It's too easy to keep your distance, when you haven't invested. And don't tell me it's love at first sight, since that's just a crock o' poo. Lust at first sight has nothing to do with the heart.
jwi71 Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 It means its not the OW/OM's fault. Their heart led them and how can you not follow that? It means they are NOT responsible for the fallout. Its was their heart's fault and they can't control it. (which is why I ALWAYS ask if they don't control their emotions who does - and I never get a reply). Its coping mechanism ultimately. An avoidance one unfortunately. My .02
Chingaling Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 (edited) I see this all the time lately on here.... what the hell does that mean??? Is it justification for falling for a married person? Is it justification for staying in an affair (an affair where the OW/OM wants an exclusive relationship with the M person ~ not the affairs were the OW/OM are content to be the OW/OM)? What is this suppose to mean?? No.... I don't think that the expression has anything in particular to do with either affairs or other men/women... at least not when I have said it... I think more of my daughter who was just dumped by the love of her life. Her heart was literally broken, even though her head knew that in the long run, it was for the best. The pain she felt was so real and she had heartfelt longing to be together with him again. The heart wants what the heart wants. I think of people who have lost children, parents and loved ones. It isn't their mind that hurts, it is their hearts that feel the pain and the longing to be together one more time. I think of people who are far away from their loved ones, people who are so immobilized by unrequited love that they can't move on, teenagers with wild crushes, and yes - even those who want to be with someone who belongs to another. Heartfelt pain is felt by everyone at some time in their lives. I certainly don't think that the phrase is restricted to those trying to justify their affairs. That is just one occassion when the heart can rule the mind. There are some people though who are definately led by their hearts all of their lives, just as there are others who are more practical. Just my opinion, of course. Edited January 21, 2010 by Chingaling added
Crazyforhim Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 No.... I don't think that the expression has anything in particular to do with either affairs or other men/women... at least not when I have said it... I think more of my daughter who was just dumped by the love of her life. Her heart was literally broken, even though her head knew that in the long run, it was for the best. The pain she felt was so real and she had heartfelt longing to be together with him again. The heart wants what the heart wants. I think of people who have lost children, parents and loved ones. It isn't their mind that hurts, it is their hearts that feel the pain and the longing to be together one more time. I think of people who are far away from their loved ones, people who are so immobilized by unrequited love that they can't move on, teenagers with wild crushes, and yes - even those who want to be with someone who belongs to another. Heartfelt pain is felt by everyone at some time in their lives. I certainly don't think that the phrase is restricted to those trying to justify their affairs. That is just one occassion when the heart can rule the mind. There are some people though who are definately led by their hearts all of their lives, just as there are others who are more practical. Just my opinion, of course. Very well said.....
NowhereToHide Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 I believe it means that you are driven by what your heart wants regardless of what your head says. And even though your head is telling you that the person isn't right for you, or that you probably shouldn't be together, you still love deeply with your heart. It doesn't absolve anyone from making the "right" choice in a situation. It just means that for many people, the heart demands to be heard a hell of a lot more than it does for others.
pureinheart Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 No.... I don't think that the expression has anything in particular to do with either affairs or other men/women... at least not when I have said it... I think more of my daughter who was just dumped by the love of her life. Her heart was literally broken, even though her head knew that in the long run, it was for the best. The pain she felt was so real and she had heartfelt longing to be together with him again. The heart wants what the heart wants. I think of people who have lost children, parents and loved ones. It isn't their mind that hurts, it is their hearts that feel the pain and the longing to be together one more time. I think of people who are far away from their loved ones, people who are so immobilized by unrequited love that they can't move on, teenagers with wild crushes, and yes - even those who want to be with someone who belongs to another. Heartfelt pain is felt by everyone at some time in their lives. I certainly don't think that the phrase is restricted to those trying to justify their affairs. That is just one occassion when the heart can rule the mind. There are some people though who are definately led by their hearts all of their lives, just as there are others who are more practical. Just my opinion, of course. Excellent!
pureinheart Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 I believe it means that you are driven by what your heart wants regardless of what your head says. And even though your head is telling you that the person isn't right for you, or that you probably shouldn't be together, you still love deeply with your heart. It doesn't absolve anyone from making the "right" choice in a situation. It just means that for many people, the heart demands to be heard a hell of a lot more than it does for others. Excellent twice!
jennie-jennie Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 The heart is not ruled by the head. The heart listens to noone. It loves who it loves. As an OW there is a battle going on between your head and your heart. It took me four years to make them join forces.
scorpmale009 Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 just Another BCrap phrase...when you can't control yourself translated to i can not control me
Jeff1962 Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 The three causes for suffering. Greed Hate Selfeshness Think about it.
silverplanets Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 The three causes for suffering. Greed Hate Selfeshness Think about it. OK, I thought about it ... and I'm probably going down in flames for this, but ... Greed - yes .. and when you marry someone are you truly marrying them for what you can truly bring to their life or because of what you want from them? Hate - yes .. and when you find out that you married a real person with their own needs, requirements, ideas of self development did you support them or hate them for not being your image of them Selfishness - yes .. and did you love them enough to support them, let them spread their wings and follow their path (even if it meant not flying with you???)... Or did you greedily try and hold on to them, carry on with your life and just expect them to be with you, hate them when they didn't and then selfishly play the "woe is me" card when they sought happiness elsewhere ... "the heart wants what the heart wants" .. means just that imho .. and if you don't know what it means then you've missed out on the best part of living (imho)
torranceshipman Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 (edited) I see this all the time lately on here.... what the hell does that mean??? Is it justification for falling for a married person? Is it justification for staying in an affair (an affair where the OW/OM wants an exclusive relationship with the M person ~ not the affairs were the OW/OM are content to be the OW/OM)? What is this suppose to mean?? I think it is what some people say when they haven't cottoned on to what the rest of us already know. That a) we want stuff (newsflash...all our hearts want what they want!), but b) self-control then kicks in, including our ability to see the potential damages acting on temptation may cause. For example, eating donuts for breakfast and McD's for dinner every day will make us fat, thus people who don't want to be fat don't do it. Having a fumble with a totally hot guy or girl, if offered, will lead to the end of a M to the love of your life: is it worth it? Clearly not. The emotionally retarded or selfish will not realize this, however, so they are stuck at point a), which isnt very intelligent. Unfortunately giving in to temptation ends up in a snowball situation where you get that far down the track in terms of emotional investment that stopping the A (or whatever) becomes incredibly painful. Cause and effect: take the hit of pain in the first instance to avoid doing it, else risk the pain feeling x100 further down the track. Edited January 21, 2010 by torranceshipman
skywriter Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 Cause and effect: take the hit of pain in the first instance to avoid doing it, else risk the pain feeling x100 further down the track. Now that, was very well put. As an Ow, I appreciate that for what it is worth.
Fallen Angel Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 I believe it means that you are driven by what your heart wants regardless of what your head says. And even though your head is telling you that the person isn't right for you, or that you probably shouldn't be together, you still love deeply with your heart. It doesn't absolve anyone from making the "right" choice in a situation. It just means that for many people, the heart demands to be heard a hell of a lot more than it does for others. DING, DING, DING... NWTH expressed what I mean when I say 'the heart wants what the heart wants' ... NWTH wins the prize this time as far as I am concerned.
pureinheart Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 The heart is not ruled by the head. The heart listens to noone. It loves who it loves. As an OW there is a battle going on between your head and your heart. It took me four years to make them join forces. And to add, not just in this particular matter, in many others also...
pureinheart Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 OK, I thought about it ... and I'm probably going down in flames for this, but ... Greed - yes .. and when you marry someone are you truly marrying them for what you can truly bring to their life or because of what you want from them? Hate - yes .. and when you find out that you married a real person with their own needs, requirements, ideas of self development did you support them or hate them for not being your image of them Selfishness - yes .. and did you love them enough to support them, let them spread their wings and follow their path (even if it meant not flying with you???)... Or did you greedily try and hold on to them, carry on with your life and just expect them to be with you, hate them when they didn't and then selfishly play the "woe is me" card when they sought happiness elsewhere ... "the heart wants what the heart wants" .. means just that imho .. and if you don't know what it means then you've missed out on the best part of living (imho) Go down in flames....no way....I have never heard this said so well. It has been what I've wanted to say although did not have the words.
BlueeyedJonesy Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 its more like "the penis wants what the penis wants" I know people who are in commited relationships with the person they had an affair with...yes they left the marriage even though there was a list a mile long of the things it would "do to the BS" if your MM loves you he will give up anything to be with you. Its more like your heart wants to stay in your marriage (if you actually do want to be there) but your mind wants NSA sex. plain and simple.
Fallen Angel Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 its more like "the penis wants what the penis wants" I know people who are in commited relationships with the person they had an affair with...yes they left the marriage even though there was a list a mile long of the things it would "do to the BS" if your MM loves you he will give up anything to be with you. Its more like your heart wants to stay in your marriage (if you actually do want to be there) but your mind wants NSA sex. plain and simple. Well, as I am the one who said "the heart wants what the heart wants" and I have no penis, nor do I have a spouse, I can guess you really don't get what that means to ME at all.. lol And for the record, I don't ever have NSA sex. *shrug*
Jeff1962 Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 OK, I thought about it ... and I'm probably going down in flames for this, but ... Greed - yes .. and when you marry someone are you truly marrying them for what you can truly bring to their life or because of what you want from them? Hate - yes .. and when you find out that you married a real person with their own needs, requirements, ideas of self development did you support them or hate them for not being your image of them Selfishness - yes .. and did you love them enough to support them, let them spread their wings and follow their path (even if it meant not flying with you???)... Or did you greedily try and hold on to them, carry on with your life and just expect them to be with you, hate them when they didn't and then selfishly play the "woe is me" card when they sought happiness elsewhere ... "the heart wants what the heart wants" .. means just that imho .. and if you don't know what it means then you've missed out on the best part of living (imho) I think you missed my point. Humans are designed to be destructive by nature. Greed, hate and selfeshness are the core problems for human suffering. All negative aspects of human behavior are derived from these three areas. These three aspects are the total opposite of LOVE. We ALL have these traits. It is only thru knowledge and a different way of thinking that we can break this pattern of self destruction. You cannot take what I have said concerning this at face value. You have to really dig deep and think about it. This takes time. I planted the seed. Do with it what you will.
HappyAtLast Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 its more like "the penis wants what the penis wants" I know people who are in commited relationships with the person they had an affair with...yes they left the marriage even though there was a list a mile long of the things it would "do to the BS" if your MM loves you he will give up anything to be with you. Its more like your heart wants to stay in your marriage (if you actually do want to be there) but your mind wants NSA sex. plain and simple. I actually don't even think I vaguely understand what you were trying to say. edited: because having both a heart AND a penis I still am not sure what you mean.
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