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Posted

I've started seeing an individual counselor to help me sort out my own feelings on my marriage. I decided to look for a male counselor and got a referral through my EAP at work. Other than he stated his method is CBT and he seems a little hard of hearing, I don't have much to say one way or the other. I'm not having anxiety or depression issues, I strictly want to deal with my relationship problems. He seemed to ask a lot of questions about those subjects, but I suspect that's normal on a first visit.

 

Any thoughts on how to judge whether I've selected the right one or not?

Posted

To be honest. much of it can be based on just a gut reaction. When my H and I started MC, I just did not gel at all with the counsellor so we requested a different one. This was agreed with no problem at all so we started seeing a new counsellor. She started asking pretty much similar questions to the first (getting backgrounds, what our aims were, etc) but I had no problem with her at all.

 

Some people you like and others you don't. If you don't feel comfortable with your counsellor then they are not for you - plus most decent ones will appreciate that this happens and not take it (too) personally.

Posted

Some of the most important elements of a counsellor/patient relationship, are:

  1. Clear and respectful communications.
  2. Empathy and connection.
  3. Trust.
  4. Confidentiality and non-judgementalism.
  5. Skill.
  6. Knowledge.
  7. Experience.

IMO, if these seven elements aren't there, time to find yourself another counsellor.

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